How To Get The Sex Life You Want

Like the trees and flowers in the park, your sex life needs care and attention if you want to keep it in good condition. Great sex is not just about sexual techniques. You need to talk and listen to each other as well as close observation in order to understand fully your partner’s sexual needs. If you are keen to get the sex life you want, these tips are a good way to start.

 

(1)   Building up sexual tension

 

Sex is best when there is no expectation of anything in particular happening, when there is no actual goal. You just allow the pleasure of lovemaking to gradually unfold. Hold off from penetrative sex for a period of time (probably for a few days). You just only need to go into kissing and holding each other, then into massaging, stroking and caressing each other. By doing this for a few days without sex, you will build up the tension that help to sharpen your senses to all the wonderful feelings you can share and experience when you are having sex.

 

(2)   Bringing up the various sensations

 

Sex is not just about orgasm and penetration. You can spice up your sex life by enlisting the help of various sensations. To turn him or her on, you can use your look, voice, words and touch in a seducing way. You can look at him or her in a flirtatious way. You can seduce him or her in words by dirty talking or sharing your sexual fantasies, by telling your partner how much you love him or her character, cheerfulness, or by leaving a romantic note to him or her at somewhere that your partner can see it. You can increase the effectiveness of your words by talking in a seducing voice or tone. You can tease your partner by just simply touching her in a playful way but not at the breasts and genitals yet.

 

(3)   Pleasuring yourself or your partner

 

Exploring each other’s body and understanding each other’s sexual responses by means of masturbation by yourself or with your partner as well as masturbating your partner can help you to discover what really turn each other on. For men with premature ejaculation problems, this is also a good way to help them last longer as they gain greater awareness of their sexual responses.

 

(4)   Finding out your partner’s sexual preferences

 

Every woman is different. One woman may prefer rough sex more than another woman who prefers a gentle approach to sex. To find out what can turn her on, you have to talk, listen and observe her. You need to pay attention to see how she responses when you are applying any sexual technique. In this way, you can optimize your rhythm, speed, stroke, etc. to match what she likes best. If your partner is a bit shy to speak her mind you can opt for non-verbal communication methods, such as squeezing hands or observing how she masturbates herself.

 

(5)   Creating a conducive atmosphere for your bedroom

 

Your bedroom should be decorated or arranged in a way that is conducive for you and your spouse for rest and relaxation as well as for romance. It will be very hard for you and your partner to get into the mood if the bedroom looks more like a storeroom. Clear away the dirty laundry or throw away those things you no longer need. Paint your room in color that matches the furniture and the color should not be too bright or glaring. Creative arrangement of the furniture and other items can help to give your bedroom some space. Get some nice linen for your pillows and bed sheets and change them regularly. Lighting can make your room sexier. Consider installing dimmers on any overhead lights or placing red handkerchiefs or colored shades over lamps to give your bedroom a more romantic vibe. Avoid using fluorescent lights because they contain mercury which is toxic and may cause headaches. Place objects in the room that can remind you both of your love story and the fond memories you have with your partner.

 

Besides the above tips, there are many books that have ideas to help you achieve a fulfilling sex life. If you have never thought about buying a book about sex, why not do it now? To find out more, you can click on Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

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