How To Use Fantasy In Love Making

 

 

 

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Acting out fantasies and pretending to be someone else is one of the easiest things couples can do to prevent sex from becoming routine. If you, your spouse or both of you are a little shy, role playing can help to open the doors to feeling more confident with one another. Here are a few tips to get started.

 

(1)   Keep it easy

 

The best way to get started is to make it easy for your partner to ease into the situation. You do not need to come up with some elaborate story line or introduce some ridiculous costumes. Whether both of you are a little timid or either one of you has reservations about the whole role playing scenario, it is best to start with something simple and easy for both of you to get into the situation, which is your ultimate goal.

 

(2)   Be prepared

 

Most people start out a bit shy and nervous with the idea of dressing up as someone else and playing a role. This is mainly due to a lack of preparation. The best way to get comfortable with sexual role playing is to get prepared.

 

(3)   Have a brainstorming session

 

The best part about role-playing is that there are so many things you can do that are not just confined to the bedroom. Get your creative juices flowing and make a list of things or the kinds of situations that turn you on. Think about whom you want to be, your motivation, the kind of scenario, how you want to dress up and what and where the boundaries and the ground rules are. At this stage, it is important to be honest, sincere and non-judgmental. There should be no laughing at your partner for something he/she says or does.

 

(4)   Narrowing down the choices to what both of you want

 

Compare your lists against your partner’s and decide on what both of you are willing to try. Also decide on what you are not going to try. You can set limits without judging the other person. If you are uncomfortable with anything, do let your partner know.

 

(5)   Setting the role playing scene

 

Details can help you to get deeper into a sexual role play scenario. When you first imagine a sexual scene, the main points may be enough to get you going, but the more details you can add to the fantasy, the more alive it becomes. Details can also be great for awkward moments when you do not know what to do next. Think about the physical setting, whether it is indoor or outdoor, what time of day is the scenario, are there any other people nearby, and what is the story line.

 

(6)   Choosing costumes and props

 

Maybe the most fun part of the preparation is costumes. Sexual fantasy role play is a perfect opportunity to dress up and have fun. Once you have decided on who you want to be, think about ways to add to your character and role through clothing and props. Make a trip to adult shops or novelty stores to choose the costumes, accessories and other items to make your role-playing fantasy complete. You can also try any thrift stores for clothing if these shops do not have what you want.

 

(7)   Shaping your sexual fantasy role play character

 

Now that you know who you are, where you are and what you are wearing, it is time to dig deeper into the sexual fantasy role play character. Think about what is your motivation, what are the things that turn on and turn off and is this character going to be dominant or submissive.

 

(8)   Decide on a good time to act out your fantasy

 

Timing can ruin even the best prepared plans. Make sure you provide enough time for schedules to be cleared and for other commitments to be fulfilled. This means make a stress and worry free space so that you can have your whole mind on the fun, and not being tie-down with thinking of the hard day ahead. For most of us who work during the week, Friday night is an especially good time because the weekend provides a good buffer.

 

(9)   Set ground rules for role playing

 

Setting ground rules and boundaries with the person you are going to engage in role playing with is essential. Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy such as no laughing at each other, agreeing beforehand the signals or words to let each other know if things are going well or badly and if things do not go smoothly how you want it to stop.

 

So, go ahead to explore new situations and make it both intense and safe. Fantasy is always fun, if done the right way. If at first it does not work well, try again. Remember that sex is really another form of communication and the more you explore it together, the better it gets.

 

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