Female Orgasm – How To Turn A Girl On Sexually

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Few days ago, I came across a few questions on a sex forum. The questions are as follows:

 

(1)   The problem I am having is sometimes I can go for hours and sometimes as soon as I put it in I feel like I have to come. Before having sex, I sometimes worry about getting hard and being able to go long enough to make her happy. What can I do?

(2)   How do you please a girl when you are below average?

(3)   Why my girl asks me to stop when she is going crazy? I want to know if I am doing something wrong. I believe she gets uncomfortable about herself getting high. What can you tell me about that?

(4)   When we have sex, she comes in the first couple of minutes and then after that she can’t come again. So I was wondering is it me or her?

 

The 1st two questions are more about guys’ sexual confidence issues. The 3rd question is more to do with trying to win the girl’s sexual trust in the guy so she can completely surrender herself to him. The 4th question is more about the need for the guy to improve on his emotional intimacy skills rather than his sexual skills. The big problem about this guy is he is looking for someone to blame instead of trying to work together with his partner to come up with solutions. So, I am going to share with you here some ideas on how to boost your sexual confidence as well as gaining her sexual trust and improving on your emotional intimacy skills.

 

Sexual Confidence

 

5 ways to boost your sexual confidence:

 

(1)   You have to slowdown

 

Yes, you have to delay your gratification. Only 20% of women achieve orgasm during penetration. They prefer their partners to slow down and use their hands and mouth more. Only half of them can reach orgasm when sex last for 10 minutes or less, according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Taking your own sweet time for sex allows you to build up the sexual tension and makes her want you more. The teasing and anticipation act as amplifiers to her arousal. You are more likely to turn her on if you are cool and calm.

 

(2)   Treat sex as normal as drinking a glass of water

 

Many guys get tense up when coming to sex, believing they need to act differently when the time comes. Instead you should treat sex as normal as possible. Focus on enjoying the moment when you are with her, keep teasing, slowly and steadily act according to her signals she sends to you, put more time and effort on the particular erotic spot she is extra sensitive to your stimulation and the appropriate amount of pressure on the hot spot she reacts strongly to, are great ways in how you should behave in bed.

 

(3)   Stop treating sex as the main goal

 

Instead you should look upon sex as one of the many goals in your life. Treat sex as a natural outcome of you falling in love with a woman and wanting to spend more time with her. You treat sex as one of the many things you love to do with her. This will help you to have a relaxed attitude so that when the moment arrives you will be able to enjoy it with confidence.

 

(4)   Talk to her

 

Get to know your sexual tastes and desires and communicate these to your partner regularly. In doing so, you will gradually be more comfortable with yourself and this will help you to gain confidence over time when discussing sex matters with her. This should be a 2-way traffic because this is not solely your problem or her problem when certain issues surface.

 

(5)   Recognize that sex is never perfect

 

While it is ideal to get her experience orgasm every time you have sex with her, however, orgasm should not be the only goal. A 2008 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that stress over sexual performance significantly lowers female arousal.

 

Stop pestering her with questions like,” Are you close?” or “Did you come?”  This puts unnecessary pressure on her. Instead ask questions like,” Do you like that?” and “Should I keep doing that?” Rather than holding out for half an hour waiting for her to reach orgasm, sometimes it is better to get over with it. Women do not have orgasm all the time and they know it is not necessary their partners’ fault. After you have ejaculated, you can always use your hands and mouth to please her, if she is still turned on.

 

How to win her sexual trust?

 

One of the powerful ways to get her “let down her fences” is to completely eliminate any hints of your own sexual shyness. This includes anything you do that let her feel you are not 100% comfortable and in control of the situation. Nervous laughter, any kind of defensive or angry remarks towards her if anything goes not according to your expectation, any feelings of frustration, trying to make yourself look “cool” or say something to brag, etc., are the things that turn her off because it shows you are insecure.

The safest and most effective way to win her sexual trust is to be unpretentious and show your real passion.

 

3 ways to win her sexual trust

 

(1)   Make her feel good about herself

 

Compliment her for her accomplishments. Ask her opinion, not her advice. If you ask for her advice, she is going to feel maternal, which is not sexy. Use words like “opinion”, “feel” and “think”. Ask in a way like,” What do you think I should do?” is better than “Tell me what to do.” This shows that you value her opinions and reinforces her confidence in your relationship with her.

 

(2)   Touch her non-sexually

 

According to a study in the American Journal of Family Therapy, women are more satisfied with their relationships when their partners are physically affectionate in a non-erotic manner. This kind of physical affection makes a woman feel wanted for more than just her body which ironically makes her feel sexy as well as winning her sexual trust because it makes her feel good about herself.

 

(3)   Show appreciation

 

This can be done by doing the little things for her as well as the big things. Be diligent in thanking her for her company, ideas and contributions to the relationship. Every woman wants to feel appreciated and wants to hear it verbally from time to time.

 

Emotional Intimacy

 

This is not the same as sexual intimacy. The aim of emotional intimacy is to know each other better. Emotional intimacy is the ability to accept each other for who you are, not what you can become. It is the ability to feel comfortable with each other to the point that you do not fear judgment.

 

4 ways to develop emotional intimacy:

 

(1)   Become familiar with your own feelings

 

You need to be more aware of your true self. It is through quiet time that you will understand yourself better. One of the ways is to write diary because this can help to understand your real feelings.

 

(2)   Spend time together

 

This can be setting aside time to talk about how the day goes and how you are feeling. Part of the time together can be spent in silence. It is important that this time is spent together every day regardless of busy schedules.

 

(3)   Listen to each other

 

Men need to understand that women sometimes need to vent their emotions. They do not need you to fix their problems; they just want you to listen and show that you care. This also applies the other way. Men also need their women to listen to them as well as the desire to feel needed and respected.

 

(4)   Resolve the problems

 

If there are issues cropping up in the relationship, do not avoid them or hold grudges. His can tear the relationship apart. Go for counseling if the problems are such that you are unsure you can handle the issues amicably with her without spoiling the relationship.

 

To recap, the basic requirements for better sex life are sexual confidence, her sexual trust in you and emotional intimacy. If you are keen to find out more ways in trying to improve your sex life you can take a look at Hot Sex and Good In Bed.

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Role Playing – How To Use Sexual Fantasy To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Click Here For Ideas To Trigger Her Sex Fantasies

Indulging in fantasies and sharing them with your partner contributes to hotter lovemaking and greater intimacy. Fantasy sexual role play can take you deeper into another character and release you from the restrictions you put on yourself in your daily life. It means more preparation and more risks or excitement. Most people start out a bit shy and nervous with the idea of dressing up as someone else and playing a role. This is due to the lack of preparation. So how do you bring fantasies to your lovemaking?

 

Here are some of the needed elements for any sexual role play scenario:

 

(a)    Choosing a fantasy role character

(b)  The scenario for acting out the sexual fantasy

(c)  Dressing up for the role

(d)  The motivation behind the fantasy role play character

(e)  Basic rules for the sexual role play

 

(1)   Choosing a fantasy role character

 

Picking a sexual fantasy role that suits you is the key to good sex fantasy role play. Think back to the old movies, comics and stories you loved as a kid. From Spiderman to Zorro, from Porky Pig to big bad wolf, the stories that stay with us from our childhood can create deep resonance in our sexual role play.

 

The fantasy role may not be related to any specific person such as the role of naughty student, the angel or a god. Most of us have fantasized about sex with rock stars, celebrities and everyday heroes. You can incorporate them into fantasy sex role play with your partner. Your sexual role play may not be a person at all. Maybe you want to be an alien or The Terminator. As much as you can, be experimental, outlandish and do not feel embarrassed or ashamed of the roles you want to explore.

 

Another way to generate some ideas to come up with a fantasy role character is to find out about some female sex fantasies. According to Isabella Snow, a sex education correspondent, the top female sex fantasies are domination (she is dominating you or you are dominating her), teacher/student, sex with a stranger, threesome with another woman, threesome with two men, voyeurism, rape, exhibitionism and private dancer.

 

(2)   The scenario for acting out the sexual fantasy

 

Add some more details can help you to get deeper into a sexual role play scenario. The details can be about the type of physical setting (indoor or outdoor, or a big, small, dark, brightly lit room), whether this happens at day or night, any people nearby or just you alone at a totally secluded space, why you are present at the scene and what is going to happen.

 

(3)   Dressing up for the role

 

Props and costumes for the role play can include clothing (from your underwear to your overcoat, school uniform, nurse uniform, a suit or tuxedo, torn or tattered clothes), wearable accessories (spectacles, leather gloves, ties or stockings, jewelry, purses, broaches, hats, belts, perfume or anything that smells like the particular role you are acting in), accessories for the role (briefcases for business people, rulers for teachers, handcuffs for policeman).

 

(4)   The motivation behind the fantasy role play character

 

Ask yourself these questions:

 

(a)    What are the things that motivate your role play character

(b)  What are the things that turn on/off your role play character

(c)  What is the personality of the role play character – dominant, submissive or mixed  personality

(d)  What is the history of the role play character

(e)  Does the role play character has any hidden fantasy and what can bring this particular fantasy to the surface

 

(5)   Basic rules for the sexual role play

 

Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy such as no laughing at your partner for something he/she or do and no judging each other in the moment.

 

Consider the following factors before you add further rules:

 

(a)    What are the things you want or do not want to do when you dress up as someone else

(b)  How do you want your partner to know when things do not work our or if you want to end it

(c)  What do you need to feel comfortable in the role play character and is it possible to get your partner to fulfill your need?

 

The bottom-line: Getting to be someone else for a few hours, acting out your wildest or most outrageous imaginations during the lovemaking process can be a sexually arousing experience for some couples, but you need to feel good about the whole process. If you like to explore more ideas to spice up your sex life, you can check this out at Hot Sex and Turn Her On.

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Female’s Most Sensitive Yet Unnoticed Erotic Organ

Click Here For Ways To Put Her In The Best Position To Get Powerful Orgasm

It is a reality that the majority of guys apparently do not notice and if they do recognize, they just do not do something about that knowledge. If guys will to work on it, the world can be a lot better with more contented women out there.

 

Mind to make a guess? Which is the most sensitive and crucial erotic organ (yet completely neglected by most men) on a woman’s body, that if correctly stimulated would provide her the most overwhelming orgasm? Is it her clitoris or her G spot?

 

Well, it is her thoughts, her imaginations, and her feelings of chemistry with the guy that makes her sexually excited. So, here you are, it is HER BRAIN that is the most important and powerful sex organ in a woman’s body.

 

With this fact, the question now arises is: “How do I sexually stimulate her B Spot?”

 

(1)        Feeling, Not Action

 

One of the reasons that couples start to think they are getting into a rut or that their sex lives rapidly become boring over time, is that they get too focused on what they are doing instead of what they are feeling. Clothes off, some kissing here, a little breast stroking there, giving a little oral sex and then proceed into the intercourse stage, the same procedure being done over a hundred times and needless to say things can get dull. It often happens that after you have had sex with your partner a dozen times, to easily start taking for granted about what she needs to be sexually aroused.

 

Love can never become boring if you inject the feelings of intimacy into your relationship, which is an infinite source of sexual pleasure and interest. When you are in love, it is always thrilling. Not all couples who are in love can translate that love into their sex life. It needs confidence, courage and intention to bring those intimate emotions into your sexual relationship.

 

Making the effort to connect with her and bringing her emotional world into the erotic world is most necessary to get her sexually crazy about you. Unfortunately, this is not the message that most guys get from the media. When men want to get turned on, they watch porn or gaze at hot girls in calendars or swimsuit magazines – there is nothing mentioned about her emotions at all.

 

However, women get sexually excited in a different way. You need to appreciate this truth and make an attempt to connect with her in a loving way – a ridiculously effective way to improve your sex life.

 

Here is how you can foster intimacy in your daily life with her:

 

(a) Eye contact

 

By looking into her eyes when she talks to you, you are showing interest in what she says and paying attention to her. This will make her feel appreciated as a woman so that when the moment comes she is less likely to resist what you want in bed.

 

(b) Touching

 

Touching in the form of kissing, massaging, stroking and caressing can help in the secretion of Oxytocin, the bonding chemical. Touching not for the purpose of foreplay or going into lovemaking creates a feeling of closeness. Try doing this for few days without sex can build up the tension that leads to stronger connection and more intense sexual encounter.

 

(c) Do something extraordinary

 

For example, if you notice that she is missing her parents or a close friend for quite some time, you can plan a small meeting for her. Call the respective person(s) and tell him/her or them your plan. Tell him/her or them that you want to surprise her and ask the person(s) involve coming over to your place not to let her know. This will show your partner how much you care. You will be surprised at how much your partner will be pleased about you for taking into consideration her needs and desires.

 

(d) Doing things together

 

Cooking a romantic dinner together provides chances for intimacy and closeness. When she is doing spring cleaning of the house, you can help to clean up certain sections of the house. Make an effort to experience and discover things together. Go and sign up for the yoga or dance class together.

 

(e) Buy each other sentimental gifts

 

This does not necessary have to be any expensive gift. It will be most effective if you can make her feel touched by choosing those gifts that show you clearly understand her needs.

 

(2)        Talk To Her

 

Whispering sweet words into her ear, sending sexy text messages can keep your partner thinking about you all the time and increasing the connection between the both of you. Talking about your feelings or emotions, asking about hers, telling her how she is making you feel, describing what her skin feels like or what she smells like, telling her what you want her to do for you are also great ways to get real connection with her brain and make the sexual experience much more intense for her.

 

Women will tell you that most guys are totally silent in bed. Some will make an effort at “dirty talk” but only some really make an effort at connecting in some real way.  If you are with a woman who likes to be talked to in this manner and if you do so, then you are exactly stimulating her brain and you will receive powerful results from her pleasure.

 

However, if you are uncomfortable with “chatting” during sex, you can communicate in other ways without words such as using touch, sigh, sounds and eye contact.

 

(3)        Create the atmosphere and feel

 

A romantic setting certainly can stimulate her “B-Spot.” The apparent way to do here is to light candles or adjust the bedroom lighting, lay out rose petals on the bed, play soft music, etc.

 

However, the setting does not have to be romantic. Moreover, not all men like that mushy stuff and neither do all women.

 

Making the choice to do it at some places can be thrilling to different couples. The risk of getting caught can make a public car park more sexually stimulating than those rose petals for some couples.

 

If she is an exhibitionist, all you have to do is to tell her to imagine and fantasize the place you enjoying making love with her. Yes, that is correct, can you still recall about what I mentioned earlier? Use your words again! This can take place before sex to set the scene.

 

Do remember that creating the setting is even more effective when it does not require a physical setting but rather an emotional one. If you can recollect about the kind of things that turn women on in the films/soap operas – forbidden love, romantic destiny, and wild passion – these are the things that you can create in her brain before entering the bedroom. This requires some imagination and effort.

 

Obviously, these tips are only the basic ways to turn her on. To fully understand a woman’s sexual reaction is more complicated. To actually know how to use that knowledge to turbo-charge your sex life is a different level of understanding. When you are ready for that “next level” and keen to know more, you can move onto Hot Sex and Turn Her On.

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How To Be Her Everything In Bed

Click Here For Ways To Get Her Enjoy Sex

Why would a guy need to seduce his own spouse or girlfriend? Isn’t the point of having a wife or girlfriend so that you do not have to go through the trouble of getting sex?

 

It is because women’s sexuality works extremely different from men’s. For us guys, if a quite good-looking female gets naked in front of us, we tend to get hard down under incredibly fast. Most of our sexual arousal comes from only visual and physical stimulation – it is very centered in our physical body.

 

But for women, it is typically in their head and in their heart. Even if you look like Robert Pattinson, simply getting naked in front of her is not going to do the trick. Being seduced is the pleasure part for women. It builds the platform for all else that follows. It gets her in the right emotional state to accept sexual enjoyment. Seducing her especially following years of marriage is the most gratifying thing you can do for her. This is way superior and a lot less costly than buying her flowers or jewelry.

 

So why do many guys never make an effort to find out how to seduce their wives or long-term girlfriends? This may perhaps be owing to 2 key reasons. Firstly they are afraid that it will be embarrassing or makes them appear silly or mushy. Second reason is it calls for some effort. It is so a lot easier to just prod her and say, “Do you want? No? Okay,” and just roll over and switch off the light. Or else just place your hand on top of her breasts and observe what happens.

 

So, what can you do?

 

Here are a few ways you can try to gradually build up her mood so that she can in turn do what you want her to:

 

(1)        Seductive Talking

 

The most significant part in seducing her is to generate some romance, some drama, even some story. Let her know how much you feel affection for her, her personality, her cheerfulness. Recall the things that get you firstly fall in love with her and tell her that you still notice.

 

Besides what you are going to say, how you are saying it is equally crucial. The tone of your voice is a tremendously important part of great seduction. Keep your voice gentle but energetic. Talking softly in her ear is a very good idea as well.

 

Seductive chatting also includes indulging in fantasies and sharing them with your partner. One way to start on is to read and watch erotic stories. Erotica can help you to get to come into contact with your deepest, darkest and most sensual fantasies.

 

Another way is to share verbally what you desire with your partner. Rather often, purely talking about what you like turns both of you on so much that there is no hesitation when it comes to acting on it.

 

(2)        Touching Her Not For The Sake Of Lovemaking

 

Women like to touch and to be touched. Just look around and you can see the evidence. Women embrace each other; they kiss each other on the cheeks. Each time a woman sees a baby, she reaches out to hold its hand and tickle it. Touching offers her feelings of warm and comfort. She makes use of touch to both demonstrate and get the feeling of affection.

 

Gratuitous grabbing of her private parts feels to her like objectification and acts of desperation, not affection. Her instinct is to respond defensively.

 

Try gently running the tips of your fingers along the inside of her arms, running your fingers through her hair, giving her a whole-body hug from behind and after that tenderly kissing the back of her neck or the side of her face. Or, giving her a gentle rub on her feet and subsequently working your way up, gently caressing the back of her legs and behind her knees, while gazing expressively into her eyes.

 

(3)        Looking At Her Lovingly

 

Experiments have been done that show a human being face is capable of literally 1000’s of expressions and that a huge amount of human communication happens through facial expression alone.  Your words can suggest totally different meanings based on the expression of your face. The way you look at her and the expression on your face when you chat with her can get her turn on.

 

A pleading look, a joking look, an insecure look, a hopeful look – not any of these are able to excite her. On the other hand, she will react fantastically strong to a confident look, a naughty look, a sexually dominant look, or an openly caring look. The key here is basically to look deeply into her eyes while feeling sure of yourself, mischievous and affectionately towards her. If you can bring together those 3 feelings while looking into her eyes, you will need to do nothing extra to seduce her.

 

There you are, here are the 3 ways to start getting her into the mood. When you are keen to take the next step from seduction to completely mastering her body, you can go to Hot Sex and Turn Her On.

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Wife Not Interested In Sex? What To Do? Read On Here

Click Here For More Ways To Increase Her Desire For Sex

Men are visual creatures. They become sexually excited when they stare at boobs. They like to watch porn. On the contrary, women are multi-sensory. They go through sex with all of their senses. While a handsome face will entice her visually, so will the sound of a man’s voice or the warm of his stroke. When she is attracted to him, his smell is more powerful than other men’s. Because of this sensitivity to the diverse channels of sensual stimulation, she gets turned-on by a variety of things which guys do not understand.

 

Perhaps this may possibly come as a shock to the majority of men, women in lesbian relationships by and large testify a higher degree of sexual fulfillment than their heterosexual counterparts. A good number of men put high importance on their “extra load” between their legs in sex and are overly-concerned about its size. While women do not deny the necessity of the male sexual organ, what they yearn for is a total “package” of experience. A lot of men fail to understand that kissing, touching, sucking, caressing and showing care for her are all the indispensable elements of a woman’s sexual experience.

 

Quite a number of women see men as uninteresting because men suppose there is one approach to sex: get her wet, get inside and unload your sticky mess. Sex is not a job that consists of a succession of tasks that have to be performed in order to accomplish the end game. Concentrating only on orgasm takes the intimacy out of the sexual experience and can put a stop to the maximization of enjoyment on either party. Tricks, without proper sexual understanding, are empty, mechanical and tedious. The biggest sex secrets are not the moves, tricks or techniques. They are specific mindsets, beliefs and mental programming.

 

When it comes to sex, men and women are tremendously poles apart. Most men crave the “end result”. They want to get straight to the point and have sex. But women are different. To turn a woman on you have to “seduce her brain” first.

 

Here are a few ways:

 

(1)        Talk to her

 

Talk just about the things that excite her. Knowing what can arouse your partner mentally will help you to work magic when the moment comes. When you need something or like some changes, be truthful about how you are feeling but be careful not to assign blame.

 

Tell her that she is lovely or compliment her on something she worked hard on such as her hair or clothing. Girls like to feel that you find them eye-catching. It makes them feel better about themselves and they have to feel sexy first before they can act sexy. This is entirely in reverse of the way men behave. For that reason you must appreciate this difference before you be successful at pleasing your woman.

 

(2)        Give her a hand

 

How time and again do you listen to her telling you she is pressured or exhausted? Whether or not she goes away to work, or stays at home to take care of children and household, or both, if at the end of the day, she is confronted with unclean dishes and unfinished housework, how can she feel sexy? Hence you ought to lend a hand to her. You can vacuum the carpet or wash some dishes. This thoughtfulness not only lightens her burden, it also demonstrates you care very much about her.

 

(3)        Touch her often

 

When you stroll past her, run your hand across her back. Race your finger along her collarbone when she sits besides you. Hold her hand when you walk across the road, along the street or sitting in a movie. Offer her an affectionate hug will make her feel assured. Embrace her while she chats about her narrative of her day.

 

A quickie 5-minute massage on the neck, feet or back can be a wonderful way to let her know you care. Kiss her simply for the sake of kissing her and not meant for the purpose of initiating sex or humoring her. Look into her eyes for a lengthy period of time. Research has shown that prolonged eye contact builds up intimacy and this is what she desires to feel with you. These are the little signals that you want to touch her in non-sexual situations and make the transition on the way to intimacy a lot less abrupt.

 

(4)        Play romantic games

 

A suggestion here is the 20 questions which is a simple yet perfect game played by kids, where you have to guess the answer by asking questions that can only be replied with “yes” or “no”. Add a sexy twist to it and this game can make up for one steamy conversation! What type of questions would you have to ask to figure out what the sex position is, or what erotic gadget your partner is thinking of? This will work miracles to start the lines of communication and lead to mental arousal.

 

(5)        Role playing

 

Fantasy can be tons of enjoyment and leads to mental arousal as well. Pretending you are somebody else makes it possible for you to venture to places you will not usually go. It means leaving your comfort zone and into another – acting!

 

Just see in your mind’s eye yourself and your partner playing the role of headmistress and naughty pupil, getting into a fling with “secretary” and taking naughty photos, photographer and models, stripper and client.

 

Imaginations can run wild as expectations can be thrown out of the window and traditions conveniently disregard. The time you use up for role playing will be well-spent through communicating and pleasuring yourself and your lover.

 

The bottom-line here is to steer clear of letting her to sense you are only treating her as a sex object and believing that your “work” is done only by penetration. What women values is a total “package” of experience consisting of the sexual and non-sexual acts to guide her slowly but surely into the mood. If you want to know more on how you can cultivate more powerful relationship with your partner, you can go to Hot Sex and Turn Her On.

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