How To Be Better In Bed

 

 

 

 

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You know of this hot girl and both of you have chemistry for each other. What can you do to please her when the lights are off? You are happily married but sex life of late is getting monotonous. What can you do to spice up sex? Here are some tips to be better in bed.

 

(1)   Be a passionate lover

 

Real good sex is not just about the sexual techniques. It is also about making a woman feel connected to you. Women love to feel special. Go on and make her feel this way. Hold her hand a lot, put your arm around her waist and kiss her passionately on her cheeks, forehead as you hug her or when having sex. This shows affection that women love.

 

Look deep in her eyes when you are about to reach climax. Behave in the way that makes her feel you are more excited to get into bed with her. As much as women love sex, they do not want to have this thinking that they are hunger for sex. If you can condition her into thinking that you desire her more, she will be able to let go off her inhibitions knowing that she is not being viewed as “slutty”.

 

(2)   Good foreplay

 

Every good sexual encounter should start with great foreplay. Do not be hasty to stick it in and climax, like the way you usually do when you masturbate. She is a person. She is not a sex object. Let her get comfortable with you first.

 

To be effective, foreplay should start outside the bedroom. There are two aspects of foreplay – the emotional foreplay and the physical foreplay. When outside the bedroom, emotional foreplay is more important and this requires you to do everything or anything to make her feel good. This should be sincere so as not to make her feel you are doing this for the sole purpose of getting her to bed. To be good in emotional foreplay requires you to be romantic.

 

Romance is something that has to be built and maintained. It cannot happen overnight. You have to find out what is particular romantic for your woman. You can often find out what a woman likes through normal conversation. Pay attention to details. Simple things often matter a lot to women. Romance often means paying attention to the things that a woman really wants and making an effort to provide these things for her. Doing these things unsolicited and often will get more appreciation from her and open her heart in ways that you can never imagine possible. If you are doing the emotional foreplay well, more than half of the “battle” will have already been won by the time you step into the bedroom.

 

When in the bedroom, you can still continue with the emotional foreplay but physical foreplay should start to play a more important role. Turn her on by teasing her. Slide your hand to any part of her body and make her think you are going to touch her specifically somewhere, like her breasts. Then when you are just only a few inches away and she is anticipating it, you pull your hand away.

 

When you are kissing her, you slowly move to her shoulders and slide her clothes back so that you can kiss her shoulder blades. You adjust her bra strap a bit so that you can reach the skin beneath it. Kiss her on areas like her face, ears and behind, back of the neck, collar bone, nape, inside her elbows, wrists, underarm, hips, back of the knees, ankle and  anywhere that is specifically sensitive to her, will make her go crazy.

 

(3)   Be unpredictable and dominant

 

The moment when you feel that things are going in your favor, you proceed into action. When you are confident enough of what you are doing, your woman will find it hard to resist your further move. Be confident but do not forget to make her feel comfortable. Showing her you have the power will make her desire you more. For a change, you can even tie her up and/or blindfold her. Demand her to give you a blowjob or be on top and straddle you. She will most certainly give in if you build up the desire properly.

 

If you want to impress and satisfy her, do not be lazy, just sticking to the same usual positions. Go for variety. Do things differently. Be unpredictable. Vary your speed. Go passionately slow and then pick up the pace. Thrust quickly and then slow down immediately. Switch from gentle to rough; soft to hard; and passionate to plain horny. This will drive her wild and gets her love juice flowing.

 

Want some more tips to make her addicted to you? You can get them from Hot Sex and Make Her Orgasm if you need something extra to deliver superb performance, making her keep coming back for you.

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What To Do If Sex Is Neither Enough Nor Satisfactory

 

 

 

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Do you remember when you first met your spouse and you were madly in love with each other? When you were not together, you kept thinking of each other from sunrise to sunset and you can’t wait to see each other. When you were together, you could not keep your hands off each other. Later on as you get more comfortable with each other, intimacy settles into a fixed pattern and it is unlikely to get better on its own. You will have to be open to new ideas and explore ways to strengthen the desire for one another as well as improving intimacy in the relationship.

 

What Makes A Healthy Relationship Works?

 

Basically, for every long-term relationship to flourish and be successful, you need to have three key elements which are intimacy, desire or passion and commitment. Not all relationships have these three key elements. Some relationships have only one or two of the key elements.

 

If a relationship is only pure passion or desire without any intimacy and commitment, it is best described as infatuated love or infatuation. If a relationship has both passion and intimacy but no commitment, it is only romantic love and many dating relationships fall into this category. If what is left in a relationship is only commitment, this will be empty love and many long-term couples fall into this category. A relationship consisting of only intimacy and commitment but lack of passion is more of a companion type of relationship. Though better than empty love but is still less than satisfactory and is a trap for long-term relationships. A relationship that has passion and commitment but no intimacy is best described as a passionate, whirlwind courtship that has quickly moved to marriage, with not enough time to build intimacy.

 

How To Strengthen Desire And Intimacy In A Relationship?

 

It is anticipation, rather than obligation and pressure that fuels desire. In any long-term relationship, it is necessary to anticipate sex in the same way as you would for other activities such as dinners, concerts and social gatherings. Though this may conflict with the idea about being spontaneous and romantic, however in reality, we are often so overwhelmed by the many responsibilities that sex is likely to be put at lower priority. You cannot count on spontaneity to make things happen. There is nothing wrong with planned, intentional sexual dates. To enhance the sexual experience in your ‘dates’, both of you can make special requests on how to turn on each other. This will establish a positive cycle of anticipation, satisfaction and regularity.

 

Another way of building anticipation is to put an idea into your partner’s head about something that seems fun and exciting which is going to happen in the not too distant future. You keep referring back and touching upon this topic. It will serve to put your partner in a different mind state and feel excited even if nothing particularly exciting is happening at the time.

 

For example, you remind your wife about the romantic dinner you have planned to try a new cuisine on a particular night. As you keep reminding her, you will build up her anticipation and make her feel excited to see you when you return home. You tell your boyfriend about how you are going to make love to him like crazy tonight. You remind him by texting about it to keep him thinking about this. You can be sure he will be rushing home to see you tonight. Making things exciting by keeping your partner in a constant state of anticipation by way of planning intentional sexual dates or anything that seems fun, exciting or unusual will in turn enhance desire.

 

Intimacy (which is the feeling of closeness, sharing and connection) is another important component of sexual desire. Marital sex involves integrating intimacy and eroticism. Sexual desire is strong when both parties value emotional and sexual intimacy (or connection).

 

How Do You Increase Intimacy In A Relationship?

 

Here are some ways you can practice on.

 

(1)   You need to learn about each other’s emotional needs and not take each other for granted. You have to find out about what things that can allow your partner to feel loved and valued by you. You have to continue to do the little things and use the same sort of thoughtfulness and caring gestures you did when you were first courting. It is unlikely that both of you share the same emotional needs. Therefore, you avoid making the mistake of only showing love in the same way that you like to receive love.

 

You make intentional, regular and daily deposits into each other’s emotional bank account in ways that your partner recognizes as loving, caring behavior. This may require having you to get out of your comfort zone. If your partner needs to be touched and you are not the touching type, it is time for you to learn a new language of love. This can be uncomfortable to you at first. But if you refuse to change your way, it will be sending her the message that you do not care enough to learn to love her in the way she wants to and you will only want to do things in your own way.

 

(2)   You strengthen the connection with each other by tuning in to each other’s feelings and needs, intentionally looking for ways to express caring, spending time with each other and having fun together.

 

(3)   You express fondness by touching each other affectionately every day. Tender touch is a fundamental need for human beings. Touch is healing and is also a way of expressing love and acceptance. When someone touches you it is like they are acknowledging you.

 

(4)   When you are upset or angry about something your spouse has done, you can try to be more understanding and forgiving of each other to prevent the barriers to communication from affecting intimacy.

 

Remember that you need desire, intimacy and commitment to keep a relationship strong. With good communication, you are able to understand each other’s needs. Based on this knowledge of each other’s needs, you make an effort to do the little things regularly to show you care. You use anticipation to drive passion or desire by setting aside time for passionate moments and by feeding fun and exciting ideas by setting aside time for passionate moments which you intend to make them happen. If you can do these, you will continue to have great sex, regardless of how long you have been in the relationship.

 

For a detailed road map on how to make passion and intimacy an important part of your  relationship, you can click on Hot Sex and Turn The Heat On

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How To Overcome Boredom In Sex

 

 

 

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When you have been in a relationship for a while, one of the most significant challenges is to keep the flames of passion burning. Do you feel that you are simply going through the motions and the only reason both of you actually are intimate is because you think you are supposed to keep sex active? When lovemaking becomes part of a relationship, it can run the risk of becoming routine.

 

Here are 5 active ways you can avoid sexual boredom and give your sex life some kick.

 

(1)   Share sexual expectations

 

The best way to avoid sexual boredom is by talking sex with your partner. Asking your partner how often he or she would like to be intimate. When he or she wants to have sex, does he/she prefer morning sex or making love at the end of the day? Next, share your expectations. After being so long together without discussing this important topic, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you think.

 

If there are big differences in these expectations, work on finding a common ground in ways that will not violate your personal boundaries. Talking about sex may offer great opportunities for both of you to look into trying sexual things you are sure your partner has never thought before.

 

(2)   Be realistic about what you want

 

We need to understand that our individual sexuality does not stay the same all the time. It is not realistic to expect that both of you will always be in the mood as often as you were when you first got together. The simple fact is the sexual aspect of a relationship will go through exciting times and mellower times. Our individual sexual needs can and do change as we mature and we need to deal with our sexual and emotional baggage as we become exposed to new knowledge about sex.

 

You also have to be aware that hormonal differences between men and women can cause a mismatched sex drive. This means that you and your partner must remain flexible, patient, be understanding and to demonstrate a willingness to compromise to keep the other sexually fulfilled. If you are expecting things to be earth-shattering and passionate in every sexual encounter, then you are setting yourself up for constant disappointment.

 

(3)   Have sex often, both spontaneous and planned

 

A common misunderstanding about sex is we need to have the desire and the mood first before we ‘do it’.  You do not exactly feel like getting it on tonight, tomorrow night or the next day and you keep pushing it further down the road. The problem is if we remain in this way and wait for the mood and desire to come, some of us would never have sex again. This is not to say that you have to become your partner’s sex slave and you can never say no to sex.

 

It is that love is about compromise, communication, mutual respect and putting the needs of another before your own, which are critical to having a sex life that both of you can be comfortable with and enjoy. It is therefore sometimes important just to bite the bullet and have sex even if you are not in the mood. Once you start, desire and arousal often follow. Research also confirms that the more a couple connects sexually, the more sex they want to experience with one another.

 

(4)   Try something different sexually

 

This may involve changing the place when having sex. If you know how to slowdown and speed up as well as when to do so, then you can easily make her orgasm fast. You can start with slow penetration, then easing your way in. Then as her breathing gets heavier and rapid, you begin to pick up speed, eventually penetrating her deeply and more quickly. Next, you ask her what she wants you to do. Whatever she demands, go at that pace for a little while, but then change the pace again. It is up to you to determine what pace or tempo she prefers and to constantly surprise her with varying rhythm and speed. If you are a woman, you can ask your man to try this out.

 

Many couples start their foreplay the same way – both of you lie in bed, you go down on him/her, he/she goes down on you and then you have sex. Make some changes to inject some new elements of surprise to the sex play. Foreplay can involve anything from dirty talking to dancing. You can give each other back or feet massage or a full body erotic massage, or having a sensual bath together. You can also introduce role play into foreplay by trying to be someone or something else for the evening.

 

You can also consider having sex in different locations. This may involve having sex in the shower, in a safe outdoor environment like the backyard or garage or doing it in a different room of the house or in a hotel. To enrich the experience, you can add in some dim lighting and music to seduce his/her senses.

 

While music, lighting and different locations can add a different spin to sex, switching up sexual positions and using sex toys or watching an erotic movie together can also help her to achieve orgasm. The list here is by no means exhaustive. Both of you should be free to allow your imaginations to run wild. Creativity and spontaneity are your allies when it comes to sex, so use them wisely.

 

(5)   Strengthen your intimacy capacity

 

This can be done by maintaining a regular date-night during which you can take the effort to dress and impress, going out for some fine dining and mixing this up with some fun let-your-hair-down activities like going for a concert or to the amusement park.

 

You can practice regular sexual affirmation by telling one another when he/she did the right things to excite and pleasure you in bed. At all times, brush up your communication skill is of utmost importance to allow you to air any unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the relationship. Keeping your relationship free of clutter is critical to preserving intimacy and passion.

 

All it takes is some effort from both of you to keep it steamy as the years go by. These 5 tips here should help you to have better sex. Want more tips on how to break out of your stale sex routine? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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Keep Lust Last In Your Relationship

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Almost everyone admits that after 10 years of marriage, trying to stay passionate to each other is never easy. No one can always act adoring or keep up an air of mystery while sharing the same space with his or her spouse year after year. Here are the truths about sex for most married couples.

 

(1)   Love can last but passion needs regular charging

 

Some people do not need to reach the 7-year itch, because lust fades away as fast as the firework display. Especially for guys after marriage, they refocus their attention on career at the expense of their love lives, feeling that they have already their objectives in their love lives. When people stop trying to impress their partners, passion definitely goes downhill.

 

(2)   Being complacent is never sexy

 

Couples who can stay emotionally connected to each other share many great moments and fond memories. They also pay special attention to creating those magical ones because great sex requires magic. It is only after you exercise some creativity and make an effort to reignite romance that you can both have a strong marriage and a good sex life.

 

(3)   Greater intimacy does not necessary lead to stronger passion

 

Intimacy means willing to share each other’s thoughts and feelings. Every relationship needs intimacy to flourish. However when we get to the point of knowing each other too well, predictably sets in and this can hurt passion in the long run.

 

(4)   Becoming parents do not lead to better sex

 

After marrying for many years, people tend to look upon their spouses as their kids’ father or mother more than regarding them as lovers as what they did when they initially met. When this happens, passion in bed definitely ebbs. Also the time invests in caring and nurturing kids can at times makes the husband feels neglected.

 

(5)   You may be the last person in the world to know what turns him on

 

Guys tend not to reveal everything about themselves because it can make them look weak. That is why what moves us sexually is usually one of our most closely guarded secrets. Though greater intimacy does not necessary lead to greater sex but without intimacy, passionate lovemaking is impossible.

 

How to maintain the passion in marriage sex

 

(1)   Do not assume you know everything about what pleases your spouse sexually

 

It is common for a husband and wife to be together for many years without each knowing what can please their spouse in bed. This can be due to out of embarrassment or being afraid to be seen as weird or selfish, in talking about it.

 

(2)   Sharing each other’s fantasies in an emotionally safe way

 

You can encourage your husband to slowly reveal aspects of his sexuality. You can say something like, “I have some craziest erotic ideas. Why not tell me something that you think will surprise me about how we can spice up our sex lives? I will promise to tell you something in return that will surprise you as well.” Saying it in this way means you are willing to listen to something unexpected and can encourage your husband to be open. If saying out loud is still too embarrassing, encourage him to put his thoughts in words.

 

 

(3)   Make sex more fun

 

You both can take turns to act out one of more of each other’s sexual fantasies. Being playful can energize the feelings of each other.

 

(4)   Offering examples

 

Encourage him to be more open about his real fantasies by saying something like, “What really excites you – being tied up and blindfolded, pretending I am someone else, you name it.”

 

(5)   Doing something different

 

Dress to impress each other. A different style of clothing or different hairstyle can trigger new feelings of each other.

 

 

 

Try to keep passion high after many years of marriage are hard but not impossible. All it needs are communication, creativity and a commitment of time and energy. If you want to get more ideas to keep the lust last in your relationship, you can click on to Lasting Love and Eternal Flame.

 

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Causes Of Low Female Libido And How To Overcome This

Low libido in women or low sexual desire is the most common sexual problem affecting at least one-third of women. Some women are much distressed over this loss of libido, feeling as if they are letting their partners down. However there are many things women can do to rekindle their passion and bring pleasure back in their sex lives.

 

What can cause the loss of libido in women?

 

(1)   Psychological issues

 

Fear of pregnancy can hurt sex drive. This is especially so in those Roman Catholic societies where the church frowns on contraceptives and abortion. Problems with physical or mental health, medication, recreational drug abuse, past sexual abuse and daily life stress are other factors.

 

(2)   Negative views on sex

 

Double standards on sex can have a big effect on women’s sexual desire. Men are looked at as studs if they are sexual, but women are still being called sluts. Some of us are being fed with some negative sex beliefs such as sex is dirty or immoral, or should only be used for procreation. All these negative views can kill sex drive.

 

(3)   Biological factors

 

Hormonal fluctuations due to pregnancy, breast-feeding and pre-menopause syndrome can lessen sexual desire. Vaginal dryness which can result from declining estrogen levels can make sex painful and cause loss of libido. Testosterone level also affects libido in women which normally peaks in their mid-20s and declines from there until menopause.

 

(4)   Relationship problems

 

What happens outside the bedroom will eventually set the mood inside the bedroom. Conflict in other parts of the relationship can affect sex life. Differences over monetary matters, child rearing, and relationship with in-laws can result in anger, resentment and cause women to mentally shut out sex.

 

How to rekindle the passion?

 

(1)   Focusing on own needs

 

The thing that can most inhibit desire in women is to be too concerned about others at the expense of own interests and comfort. If women want to enjoy sex and have orgasm, they need to pander to their own needs and to do the things that can pleasure themselves.

 

(2)   Improving intimacy

 

Before looking for ways to spice up sex life, it helps to work on improving the intimate connection first. Studies have proven that a simple touch can help to release endorphins in the brain that not only make us feel loved, but want to give love in return. Surprise her with an unexpected hug, a surprisingly romantic or a naughty tickling.

 

(3)   Injecting some novelty

 

Marriage life inevitably sinks into boredom and hurts libido if both gets too comfortable with routine. Change the place and time to have sex, experience with different sex positions, and create a conducive mood for sex in the bedroom, living room, kitchen or just anywhere you can imagine. Try role playing to be someone or something else, dress up and play sexy games with your partner. Do something different or adventurous outside of the bedroom as well. Consider watching horror movies, riding a roller coaster, or doing bungee jump, trying an exotic cuisine with your partner in a newly opened restaurant.

 

(4)   Stimulating yourself

 

It can be pressurizing for some women to have orgasm with their partners. A way to overcome this is to engage in masturbation. This process can help a woman to discover what and how she can be aroused. After knowing what feels good, you can guide your partner in how he can please you sexually.

 

(5)   Using lubricants

 

If vaginal dryness is a problem, go to a local pharmacy or sex shop where you can choose the different flavors and aromas of lubricants. Applying estrogen cream into the vagina can help to increase vaginal secretions. If possible, you can discuss with your doctor about the options before trying anything.

 

(6)   Having realistic expectations

 

What you often see in porn movies is usually not an accurate reflection of reality and can be exaggerating at times. If sometimes you cannot have orgasm during sex, it can be due to some temporary factors and is not due to your fault. If you are concerned about how you look when naked that you want to make love with lights off, you are probably too harsh in evaluating your own body. Your partner probably finds you more attractive than you think you are. So you should relax, be kinder to yourself, just enjoy the process of lovemaking and gradually your libido will return.

 

(7)   Having a deep conversation

 

You should not expect your partner to be able to read your mind like a book all the time. If you want pleasure during sex, the simplest way is to let your partner knows what arouses you. Put your request in a compliment rather than a complaint. For example, you can say, “It really turns me on when you take your time on foreplay before we have sex.” For discussions on sex, it is better for this to take place outside of the bedroom to avoid been too pressurizing to both sides.

 

All strong relationships require communication, effort and a little commitment to spice things up. If you want help to make your love life interesting and satisfying again, you can click on Hot Sex and Get Her In Mood.

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