How To Overcome Boredom In Sex

 

 

 

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When you have been in a relationship for a while, one of the most significant challenges is to keep the flames of passion burning. Do you feel that you are simply going through the motions and the only reason both of you actually are intimate is because you think you are supposed to keep sex active? When lovemaking becomes part of a relationship, it can run the risk of becoming routine.

 

Here are 5 active ways you can avoid sexual boredom and give your sex life some kick.

 

(1)   Share sexual expectations

 

The best way to avoid sexual boredom is by talking sex with your partner. Asking your partner how often he or she would like to be intimate. When he or she wants to have sex, does he/she prefer morning sex or making love at the end of the day? Next, share your expectations. After being so long together without discussing this important topic, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you think.

 

If there are big differences in these expectations, work on finding a common ground in ways that will not violate your personal boundaries. Talking about sex may offer great opportunities for both of you to look into trying sexual things you are sure your partner has never thought before.

 

(2)   Be realistic about what you want

 

We need to understand that our individual sexuality does not stay the same all the time. It is not realistic to expect that both of you will always be in the mood as often as you were when you first got together. The simple fact is the sexual aspect of a relationship will go through exciting times and mellower times. Our individual sexual needs can and do change as we mature and we need to deal with our sexual and emotional baggage as we become exposed to new knowledge about sex.

 

You also have to be aware that hormonal differences between men and women can cause a mismatched sex drive. This means that you and your partner must remain flexible, patient, be understanding and to demonstrate a willingness to compromise to keep the other sexually fulfilled. If you are expecting things to be earth-shattering and passionate in every sexual encounter, then you are setting yourself up for constant disappointment.

 

(3)   Have sex often, both spontaneous and planned

 

A common misunderstanding about sex is we need to have the desire and the mood first before we ‘do it’.  You do not exactly feel like getting it on tonight, tomorrow night or the next day and you keep pushing it further down the road. The problem is if we remain in this way and wait for the mood and desire to come, some of us would never have sex again. This is not to say that you have to become your partner’s sex slave and you can never say no to sex.

 

It is that love is about compromise, communication, mutual respect and putting the needs of another before your own, which are critical to having a sex life that both of you can be comfortable with and enjoy. It is therefore sometimes important just to bite the bullet and have sex even if you are not in the mood. Once you start, desire and arousal often follow. Research also confirms that the more a couple connects sexually, the more sex they want to experience with one another.

 

(4)   Try something different sexually

 

This may involve changing the place when having sex. If you know how to slowdown and speed up as well as when to do so, then you can easily make her orgasm fast. You can start with slow penetration, then easing your way in. Then as her breathing gets heavier and rapid, you begin to pick up speed, eventually penetrating her deeply and more quickly. Next, you ask her what she wants you to do. Whatever she demands, go at that pace for a little while, but then change the pace again. It is up to you to determine what pace or tempo she prefers and to constantly surprise her with varying rhythm and speed. If you are a woman, you can ask your man to try this out.

 

Many couples start their foreplay the same way – both of you lie in bed, you go down on him/her, he/she goes down on you and then you have sex. Make some changes to inject some new elements of surprise to the sex play. Foreplay can involve anything from dirty talking to dancing. You can give each other back or feet massage or a full body erotic massage, or having a sensual bath together. You can also introduce role play into foreplay by trying to be someone or something else for the evening.

 

You can also consider having sex in different locations. This may involve having sex in the shower, in a safe outdoor environment like the backyard or garage or doing it in a different room of the house or in a hotel. To enrich the experience, you can add in some dim lighting and music to seduce his/her senses.

 

While music, lighting and different locations can add a different spin to sex, switching up sexual positions and using sex toys or watching an erotic movie together can also help her to achieve orgasm. The list here is by no means exhaustive. Both of you should be free to allow your imaginations to run wild. Creativity and spontaneity are your allies when it comes to sex, so use them wisely.

 

(5)   Strengthen your intimacy capacity

 

This can be done by maintaining a regular date-night during which you can take the effort to dress and impress, going out for some fine dining and mixing this up with some fun let-your-hair-down activities like going for a concert or to the amusement park.

 

You can practice regular sexual affirmation by telling one another when he/she did the right things to excite and pleasure you in bed. At all times, brush up your communication skill is of utmost importance to allow you to air any unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the relationship. Keeping your relationship free of clutter is critical to preserving intimacy and passion.

 

All it takes is some effort from both of you to keep it steamy as the years go by. These 5 tips here should help you to have better sex. Want more tips on how to break out of your stale sex routine? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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How To Turn Her On Again When Sex Frequency Is Declining

 

 

 

Find Out More From Here Easy Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

 

Has it ever happened to you that when you snuggle up to her, she will say – I do not want to have sex tonight, dear; I have a headache? Do you at times have to do a lot of coaxing and persuasion in order to nudge her into sex?

 

Are you faced with any of the following symptoms –

 

(a)    1-2 times per month

(b)   Sex becomes a chore

(c)    Do not feel intimate after sex

(d)   You do not have any sexual fantasies about your partner

(e)    It seems only one of you are more keen on sex

(f)    There is no sense of adventure or spontaneity in sex

(g)   Neither of you are frisky in the bedroom any more

 

If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you are probably facing the situation of a low-sex marriage.

 

In whatever category you and your partner find yourself belong to, chances are you may still have experienced your share of sexual rejection in your relationship. You may have had to endure a period of ‘drought’ when your partner is not in the mood for sex. While some couples do not see this no-sex or low-sex situation as an issue, it can be a cause for concern to others. This is especially so when one party is never in the mood and the other is always quite keen.

 

If you have this problem of no-sex or not enough sex in your relationship, here are the 6 tips that will help you to improve sexual intimacy

 

(1)   Share sexual expectations

 

It is necessary that partners discuss with one another their sexual needs and wants particularly in relation to the regularity or frequency aspects. Ask your partner how often and when he or she would like to be intimate. Does he/she prefer making love in the morning or at the end of the day?

 

Through this exchange of views, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you may think. If there are big differences in these expectations, jointly come up with a plan that can take into consideration each other’s needs and giving some room for compromise.

 

(2)   Recognize each other’s differences in sexual desire

 

It is very unlikely that your appetite, the amount of sleep you require, how sociable you are and other aspects of your personality will always be perfectly matched with your partner’s. Therefore it is nothing weird or abnormal if you want more or less sex than your partner. A couple must learn not to make this issue a deal-breaker.  By seeing this as a very normal sexual issue, you can negotiate your sexual needs and talk about your sex lives in an honest and respectful way. It will then be possible to reclaim the intimacy and closeness you are both missing.

 

(3)   Be respectful to the low sexual desire partner

 

If you are the one with a higher sex drive level, you have to accept that you may get less sex than you would ideally like. You have to learn not to over-react to a ‘no’ to sex and accept it respectfully. Avoid sexual bullying, begging or manipulating. This is indeed a very tough act to follow and it helps a lot when the low-desire partner can at the same time be more understanding of the high-desire partner’s needs.

 

(4)   Get to the root of the problem

 

Remember that you cannot have good sex in a bad relationship. Probe deeper to see if there are any underlying resentment or anger from/towards your partner that act as an obstacle to greater intimacy. Hormonal fluctuations, medication, past sexual trauma, painful sex or undiagnosed illness can all have an impact on our sexual desire. Face up to all these issues and look for ways to resolve them. Seek professional help if you are unable to change things on your own.

 

(5)   Strive for greater intimacy

 

Intimacy in a relationship is not automatic. It must be developed and nurtured through cultivating an environment characterized by mutual trust and respect, deep communication and time-together. You cannot be intimate if you do not talk and spend time with each other. Making your spouse’s needs a priority is an excellent way of breaking down the barriers to a great sex life.

 

(6)   Sometimes have sex even if the mood is not there

 

If we just wait for the mood to come to have sex, some of us would never have it. This seems contradictory to what I said about learning to accept ‘no’ to sex. But marriage is all about mutual love and respect and compromise which involves at times giving way to his/her needs. Once you start the ball rolling and just do it, desire and arousal often follow.

 

Do you know what you are doing in bed can both turn on and turn off your partner? Want to polish you sexual skills? Click on Hot Sex and Have More Sex

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