How To Overcome Boredom In Sex

 

 

 

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When you have been in a relationship for a while, one of the most significant challenges is to keep the flames of passion burning. Do you feel that you are simply going through the motions and the only reason both of you actually are intimate is because you think you are supposed to keep sex active? When lovemaking becomes part of a relationship, it can run the risk of becoming routine.

 

Here are 5 active ways you can avoid sexual boredom and give your sex life some kick.

 

(1)   Share sexual expectations

 

The best way to avoid sexual boredom is by talking sex with your partner. Asking your partner how often he or she would like to be intimate. When he or she wants to have sex, does he/she prefer morning sex or making love at the end of the day? Next, share your expectations. After being so long together without discussing this important topic, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you think.

 

If there are big differences in these expectations, work on finding a common ground in ways that will not violate your personal boundaries. Talking about sex may offer great opportunities for both of you to look into trying sexual things you are sure your partner has never thought before.

 

(2)   Be realistic about what you want

 

We need to understand that our individual sexuality does not stay the same all the time. It is not realistic to expect that both of you will always be in the mood as often as you were when you first got together. The simple fact is the sexual aspect of a relationship will go through exciting times and mellower times. Our individual sexual needs can and do change as we mature and we need to deal with our sexual and emotional baggage as we become exposed to new knowledge about sex.

 

You also have to be aware that hormonal differences between men and women can cause a mismatched sex drive. This means that you and your partner must remain flexible, patient, be understanding and to demonstrate a willingness to compromise to keep the other sexually fulfilled. If you are expecting things to be earth-shattering and passionate in every sexual encounter, then you are setting yourself up for constant disappointment.

 

(3)   Have sex often, both spontaneous and planned

 

A common misunderstanding about sex is we need to have the desire and the mood first before we ‘do it’.  You do not exactly feel like getting it on tonight, tomorrow night or the next day and you keep pushing it further down the road. The problem is if we remain in this way and wait for the mood and desire to come, some of us would never have sex again. This is not to say that you have to become your partner’s sex slave and you can never say no to sex.

 

It is that love is about compromise, communication, mutual respect and putting the needs of another before your own, which are critical to having a sex life that both of you can be comfortable with and enjoy. It is therefore sometimes important just to bite the bullet and have sex even if you are not in the mood. Once you start, desire and arousal often follow. Research also confirms that the more a couple connects sexually, the more sex they want to experience with one another.

 

(4)   Try something different sexually

 

This may involve changing the place when having sex. If you know how to slowdown and speed up as well as when to do so, then you can easily make her orgasm fast. You can start with slow penetration, then easing your way in. Then as her breathing gets heavier and rapid, you begin to pick up speed, eventually penetrating her deeply and more quickly. Next, you ask her what she wants you to do. Whatever she demands, go at that pace for a little while, but then change the pace again. It is up to you to determine what pace or tempo she prefers and to constantly surprise her with varying rhythm and speed. If you are a woman, you can ask your man to try this out.

 

Many couples start their foreplay the same way – both of you lie in bed, you go down on him/her, he/she goes down on you and then you have sex. Make some changes to inject some new elements of surprise to the sex play. Foreplay can involve anything from dirty talking to dancing. You can give each other back or feet massage or a full body erotic massage, or having a sensual bath together. You can also introduce role play into foreplay by trying to be someone or something else for the evening.

 

You can also consider having sex in different locations. This may involve having sex in the shower, in a safe outdoor environment like the backyard or garage or doing it in a different room of the house or in a hotel. To enrich the experience, you can add in some dim lighting and music to seduce his/her senses.

 

While music, lighting and different locations can add a different spin to sex, switching up sexual positions and using sex toys or watching an erotic movie together can also help her to achieve orgasm. The list here is by no means exhaustive. Both of you should be free to allow your imaginations to run wild. Creativity and spontaneity are your allies when it comes to sex, so use them wisely.

 

(5)   Strengthen your intimacy capacity

 

This can be done by maintaining a regular date-night during which you can take the effort to dress and impress, going out for some fine dining and mixing this up with some fun let-your-hair-down activities like going for a concert or to the amusement park.

 

You can practice regular sexual affirmation by telling one another when he/she did the right things to excite and pleasure you in bed. At all times, brush up your communication skill is of utmost importance to allow you to air any unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the relationship. Keeping your relationship free of clutter is critical to preserving intimacy and passion.

 

All it takes is some effort from both of you to keep it steamy as the years go by. These 5 tips here should help you to have better sex. Want more tips on how to break out of your stale sex routine? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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