For Couples – How To Increase Sex Drive

Click Here For Ways To Turn The Heat Up In Your Bedroom

You used to have sex three to four times per week. Now it is about one for every ten to twelve days. For some odd reasons, the act of doing anything sexual does not interest you or your lover. The horniness is no longer there and sex drive is declining. It reaches the point where one of you almost has to beg for sex. What more can be done to increase the desire for sex for both of you? You can actually do a lot to boost libido and keep you and your partner happy in the bedroom with the following tips. If they do not help, you may need sex therapy with a professional to make sex work for both of you.

 

(1)   Self-Discovery And Self-Stimulation

 

You need to learn how to identify the pleasant, sensuous and sexy feelings and identify the situations that make you feel this way. You just need to pay attention to what your brain and body are saying to you naturally during the day and night.

 

Maybe you have simply gotten tired of doing the same thing in the bedroom. By experimenting on your own time and at your own pace (by way of masturbation or self-stimulation), you may discover a few erogenous zones, some unusual sensations or new moves that you enjoy.

 

Sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, ben-wa balls, ticklers or restraints can be used as alternatives to hand stimulation and to achieve variety in types of stimulation. This method is also applicable to guys. He can press a vibrator against his body from head to toe to discover on his own which body parts or areas are his hot spots.

 

(2)   Communicate For Better Understanding And For Ways To Spice Things Up

 

Open communication to each other is very important. Exchange with each other what you like and dislike. Be honest if you are experiencing a low sex drive or if you wish your partner has more sexual desire. Be open about your inhibitions and what you think the problem might be.

 

This communication is also a good opportunity for both of you to discuss about how to spice things up, or to add a little novelty into your love life. This can be doing something unusual outside the bedroom too such as going for a hike in the wild or doing bungee jump. For indoor activities, this can be having sex in positions that you have never tried, to make love in places you have never done before, have sex in the middle of the afternoon or in the morning, engaging in some role-playing, adding a few props or costumes, or adding some gels, lotions, massage oils to enhance sensation.

 

(3)   Learn To Relax

 

Too much stress increases the stress hormone cortisol, which causes testosterone (which plays an important role in sexual desire) to plummet. Find a way to tune out for fifteen minutes a day, whether through meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises (inhale through nose and exhale through mouth for ten times a day), chilling to music, or learning tai-chi. It will be ideal if your partner can join you in these relaxation activities. You can exchange massage with your partner. Massage can improve sexual arousal particularly if you are stressed, worried or angry.

 

(4)   Set The Mood

 

Everything starts from the mind because the brain is the main sexual organ. Reading erotica or watching a sexy soap creates arousing chemical changes in your brain that can increase desire. Search for things that affect your senses pleasurably. Try different stimuli such as aromas and scents, flowers and candles, running water and hot tubs, different types of music, even incense.

 

Experiment with the feel of soft fabrics against your skin, wearing sexy lingerie, buying clothes in colors that appeal to you. Watch movies with erotic or romantic themes. Or experiment with quite lush or exotic restaurants. Trying cooking special dinners for two at home.

 

Spending time each day touching and cuddling each other can boost oxytocin (feel-good hormone) levels and make you feel not only closer to your partner but more relaxed during sex. This simple gesture can also help to reset your brain and body to learn to enjoy sex again.

 

(5)   Exercise Together With Your Partner

 

Sex drive often wanes when you are not feeling good about yourself and your body. Exercise and weight loss can help you to feel good and boost your body image. Aerobic workouts (running, biking, swimming, weight training) help to improve blood flow to sex organs, boost your mood by pumping up the feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins. An increase in testosterone levels about one hour after working out can also leave you feeling sexier. Do avoid overstraining yourself because extreme exercise can actually lower testosterone levels.

 

Have your wife engaged in Kegel exercises by working on her pelvic floor muscles (those which control urine flow). This can help to increase libido and make her more aware of the pleasurable feeling from sex. To do this, have her act as if she is stopping her urine halfway. Have her to squeeze or contract the pelvic muscles and hold there for ten seconds and then release for ten seconds before resuming to the squeeze/hold/release action.  Have her do this for three to four times a day.

 

(6)   Eat Well

 

Eating a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins helps keep you fit and increase your energy and libido. Specifically, you can include food items such as oysters, celery, banana, avocado, nuts, eggs, garlic, scallops, pumpkin seeds, chocolate, licorice and ginger which are thought to boost libido.  Spicy foods such as chili are believed to increase sexual desire by increasing heart rate and causing your body to release endorphins, the same chemicals that your body produces after exercise. Though there is no medical proof that they can increase libido, but they could work because of the placebo effect.

 

(7)   Consult Your Doctor

 

If you have any difficulty in the bedroom (pain, low desire, vaginal dryness), bring it up with your doctor before it derails your love life. Certain medication such as antidepressants, birth control pills can reduce libido. Discuss with your doctor to see if there are any way to alleviate this problem.

 

For more tips to make sex enjoyable for you and your partner, you can click on Loving Couple.

 

 

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