The Most Common Sexual Issues That Matters To A Lot Of Women

Some societies treat sex as a taboo topic. Such attitude tends to inhibit any open discussion on sexual matters. This can be so stifling that it prevents women from having enough knowledge to improve their sex lives. So, what are the things that most women are keen to know about regarding sexual matters? Read on!


(1)   Anything wrong with me?


“I am not able to have an orgasm during sex, is that normal?” “I squirt during one of my masturbating sessions, it feels like urinating but I enjoy the feeling, am I weird?” Sex is something that is very personal. Therefore each person will definitely respond in his/her unique way to any particular act of sexual stimulation. As long as your sex life does no harm to anyone and you are not doing anything to put yourself in danger, there is no reason to be concerned about any of your sexual desires, fantasies and responses.


If you are not able to have orgasm during sexual intercourse, it has nothing to do with whether you are normal or abnormal. It is more to do with the lack of communication with your spouse about your sexual needs. The first step towards a fulfilling and satisfying sex life is not to be too harsh on yourself and to accept yourself as a normal person with the right to an uninhibited sexual self.


(2)   What is the normal frequency of sex?


The concern here is you are probably less interested in sex than others. Research has shown that most long-married couples have sex once or twice a week, if either of them does not have any illness, is pregnant or is bothered by other matters that affect the mood for lovemaking. For newly married couples, sex happens more often but tends to decrease in frequency over time.


(3)   How to let my husband know what I want in bed?


You should not expect your husband to be able to second guess and read your mind all the time. Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life. You have to speak out and be clear about what you want. The way to do is to package your request in the form of compliment. This will avoid the request becoming like a complaint which can lead to defensive behavior. For example, you can say, “It really turns me on when you touch me there,” or “I love it when you take your time on foreplay.” You can also give him some non-verbal guidance by way of positive feedback such as moaning or moving certain part of your body closer to him when he makes the right move. You can also put across by what you want in a playful manner by way of dirty talking.


(4)   Why I lose interest in sex?


Loss of libido is a common problem affecting one-third of women. Fluctuating hormone levels due to pre-menopause syndrome, stress from work and household responsibilities, medications (certain contraceptives are linked to low sex drive), etc, are possible causes of your decrease in sexual desire.


Check to see if any of these causes are relevant to your situation. If medication is the cause, discuss with your doctor to prescribe alternative drugs. If juggling between household and work duties is too overwhelming, you need to discuss with your spouse about sharing some household responsibilities or getting outside help. At the same time, look for ways to improve intimacy with your spouse and reconnect you with your inner vixen. There are non sexual ways to be intimate such as cuddling, talking, holding hands, watching a movie together or just having a dinner alone. You can try masturbation to uncover certain hidden aspects of your sexuality which can help to reverse the loss of libido.

(5)   How to get over it if my husband/I cheated?


To save your marriage, the partner who cheated must make an effort to sever all links with the 3rd party. The unfaithful spouse needs to be honest to own up to his/her mistakes. Make an appointment to visit a family counselor for some therapy sessions to help you find ways to rebuild the relationship. The injured party should be given an outlet for him/her to vent, cry or let go off the hurt feelings for about 10 minutes a day. This will gradually ease the pain after a period of time.


(6)   How do I let my spouse know about my fantasies?


Indulging in fantasies and sharing them with your partner can lead to hotter lovemaking and greater intimacy. One way to begin is to create a “fantasy box” to list down you and your partner’s sexual fantasy. When things get dull in the bedroom, these fantasy ideas can be put into action. Another way is to share verbally what you want with your partner. Many times, simply talking about what you want can turn you both on so much that there is no hesitation when it comes to acting on it.


(7)   How can we find the time for making love?


It may seem unromantic to say you need to schedule time for sex. But with life getting busier due to increase responsibilities from workplace and home, sex can gradually be pushed into low priority if there is no attempt to allot time for it. Learn how to say no to some requests for your time. Re-prioritize your activities to free up some time for lovemaking. Make your relationship and your sex life a priority.


(8)   How do we spice things up if we are stuck in a sexual rut?


To keep sex life exciting and fun, you can inject some novelty by making small changes in routine. Try having sex at different places (at home or outside home such as the back seat of your car or a motel room near your place) and different time of the day. During the lovemaking session, you can incorporate role-playing, oral sex and/or try new sex positions. Try giving each other hot oil massage, using feathers to tickle each other, having sensual bath together, arousing each other in ways other than traditional intercourse.


Try to set the mood in advance with proper lighting, proper music, proper food, and proper settings. Make sure that the setting suits your partner’s tastes. You can create the romantic mood at any places in your house such as the living room, kitchen or anywhere you can imagine. Rent romantic or sexy movies. Visual stimulation always works because erotica helps you to get in touch with your deepest, darkest and most sensual fantasies. Visit an adult store for some couple sex toys. Sometimes props can be fun. Never be afraid to try something new.


Sometimes it is also a good idea to temporarily abstain from sex. At times, sex may hold a lot of anxieties for certain couples, which can inhibit true intimacy. This can be avoided by simply replacing sex with the relaxing pleasures of cuddling, kissing, massage, or to pursue other activities you enjoy.


There are many books that can give you some ideas to help you achieve a fulfilling and satisfying sex life. If you have never thought of buying a self-help book about sex, why not do it now? You may do so by clicking on Sexy Games and Naughty Flirting.

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