Vaginal Orgasm Versus Clitoral Orgasm

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There has been a lot of confusion surrounding women and sex. So let’s clear up some of these misunderstandings.

 

(1)   Women need to have orgasm to get sexual satisfaction

 

Many women feel good with or without an orgasm. Although it is preferable to have an orgasm, many women can still feel physically and emotionally satisfied even when they do not have one, as long as there is sexual intimacy. Some women even prefer kissing, hugging and caressing to actual sex and orgasm.

 

(2)   Vaginal orgasms are more enjoyable than clitoral orgasms

 

The one most significant truth about women and sex is every woman is different. Some enjoy the sensation of a clitoral orgasm, while others prefer the intensity of vaginal orgasm. The probable reason that vaginal orgasms are deemed to be better than clitoral orgasms is because very few women (about 30%) experience vaginal orgasm. One erogenous zone is not necessary better than the other one. It is only a matter of individual preference.

 

(3)   Women desire a G-spot orgasm

 

The fact is some women find stimulation of the G-spot irritating. If the G-spot is stimulated correctly, it can make some women get uneasy because they feel like wanting to urinate immediately. As said before, how a woman likes to be stimulated is purely an individual preference.

 

(4)   Women cannot ejaculate

 

Women can definitely ejaculate (also known as squirting). Women ejaculate through the urethra, just like men. Female ejaculate contains the same substance male ejaculate contains. Not all women can and will experience ejaculation and those who do is usually as a result of direct stimulation of the G-spot.

 

(5)   Men need to have good sexual skill to give women an orgasm

 

Actually the most important skill a man needs to have is the ability to pay attention, to listen and observe her body ‘signals’ and to give her what she wants. Whether a woman can have orgasm is also dependent on her state of mind. Like men, some women have performance anxiety problems which can prevent them to have orgasms regardless of how skillful their men can be.

 

(6)   Circumcision can reduce the chances for her to get orgasm

 

While some men experience a lack or decrease in sensitivity during sex after circumcision, there is so far no evidence to show the connection between circumcision and a woman’s chance to get orgasm. In fact some women do not feel any difference between men who have and do not have circumcision.

 

(7)   Condoms lower the chance for her to experience orgasm

 

A lot of men are of the view that condoms cut down sensitivity during sex and make it difficult to give their women an orgasm. In general, the condom does not affect the ability of women to have orgasm, especially so for clitoral orgasm.

 

(8)   The bigger the size of male sexual organ, the higher the chance of orgasm

 

While only a few women care about size most women don’t. How she can achieve orgasm is very much dependent on her state of mind and a man’s ability to observe and understand what can turn her on.

 

(9)   A woman is not aroused if she does not get wet

 

Sexual physical changes happen when a woman is aroused: her heart beats faster, her blood pressure goes up, her skin flushes up, her nipples become erect and her sexual areas become swollen. Some women can get wet more than others and this alone is not enough to indicate a higher degree of sexual pleasure.

 

(10)  A woman will not get pregnant when having sex during menstruation

 

Normally during a woman’s menstruation period, the chance of getting pregnant is almost nil because there is no egg to be fertilized. However, the egg can live up to 3 days and sperm for up to 7 days. If a woman’s menses are not regular, there is a chance that the egg gets fertilized and she gets pregnant.

 

Hope what is said here can clear away some of your doubts about female orgasms. If you like to know more about women sexuality, you can check it out at Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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The Mystery Of Sexual Chemistry

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Are you keen to know how you can make her really “feel” chemistry with you in the moment? Do you know why at certain times she is receptive to your sexual advances but at other times she seems to be less enthusiastic? This often happens in a relationship and such mood changes can even take place within a day.

 

To keep this short, her erratic mood swings can be explained by what we sometimes call “sexual chemistry”. When you can make her feel connection, any woman will gladly for forgo a few hours of sleep, or just about anything else to allow you to ride on her. These feelings and emotions collectively known as chemistry is one of the main ingredients for incredible sex.

 

When a woman talks about the best lover she ever has, she does not say things like the size of his tool, how long he lasted, or any kind of new and crazy sexual position she has never seen before. Although women do sometimes talk about such things when they are with their friends, it is not because these blew their minds in bed, but they are just meant for the purpose of making interesting conversations.

 

Instead what she is going to say about her best lover is:” I have never felt so much ‘chemistry’ with a man before.” That should be exactly what she would say about you in the following morning.

 

I am going to share with you the keys to sexual chemistry. You should start using them today and you will be amazed at how quickly she can get sexually addicted to you.

 

Let me begin with a hypothetical case. You are talking to a stunning-looking woman and obviously you can sense some intellectual chemistry with her because she laughs at your jokes, she finds you interesting and you feel yourself becoming strongly and physically attracted to her. You surely want to progress further with her. The question here is how can you make her take the jump from, “this is an interesting man,” to “I do love to share my bed with this guy right now!”?

 

One of the keys to make her feel the second way is to “lead” and be “dominant”. Women can only get the most intense orgasms when they feel sexual chemistry, trust and intimacy with the right man who can make her have these feelings. You may have heard women mention something like, “I want a man who knows how to be a man.” Leading is what she is referring to.

 

Here is how you can trigger all of those feelings of chemistry with the women you are with and here are the 4 areas that you should be leading that will guide her steadily into the powerful zone of sexual chemistry:

 

(1)   Leading in your interactions with her

 

This can be applicable to activities such as taking the lead when you dance with her, stretch out to hold her hand while walking (instead of waiting for her to offer hers), pulling out a chair for her (which gives a subtle command of where she should sit). Other ways of leading can come in the way you lead in your talking and in making joint decisions.

 

During talking, instead of saying, “What would you like to talk about?” the proper way should be, “Tell what you think about (any topic you choose to talk with her). When making joint decisions, show her an option like, “I have got a great idea, let’s go to (your suggested place) or do (something else you suggest), instead of asking her, “Where  would you like to eat tonight?” or “What movie would you like to see?” which tends to make women feel you have no mind of your own or are indecisive.

 

However, if at times she may not be in the mood to go elsewhere or do something you suggest, there is no need for you to fight for it to show you are leading. When facing such situation, you should be flexible. The main point is you need to show that you are decisive and capable of making quick and authoritative decisions. But you do not have to behave like a bully or jerk in pushing her around to achieve this. Leading and to be dominant is a subtle thing that comes from being confident with yourself and your masculine identity.

 

(2)   Making eye contact

 

This is a very effective way to lead and show dominance. When you look at a woman and your eyes flit around nervously, she can sense your mood. Instead, hold your gaze on her eyes and she will lock into your eyes in return.

 

Occasionally, you may look elsewhere, and if you do so, shift your eyes upwards or to the side but never down. This is because shifting your eyes downward after initial eye contact will make you look submissive. When she is attracted to you, she will either hold your gaze or glance downwards and usually both.

 

Do keep this eye contact casual but not constant. Always staring at her eyes and trying to get her to make eye contact with you will make it look like you are trying very hard to get her attention. That does not give a signal of leading.

 

(3)   Touching her

 

Progressing from eye contact to touching her is a delicate and gradual process requiring you to be patient and pay attention to her reaction. You start from the casual touching of her hand and when the timing is right, you increase the intimacy of your touching by reaching for her face or her inner thighs or breasts.

 

You should not rush through this and neither should you be too timid. Doing this in the proper way by touching her in a confident and relaxed manner will create sexual chemistry.

(4)   Leading sexually

 

Leading sexually includes touching her in a confident way and not to wait for her approval for every little thing you do. You should either tell her what you want her to do, or you should move her physically into the positions that both please you and work for her.

 

This involves sexual confidence on your part and her sexual trust in you. To have sexual confidence, you first need to resolve any issues that trigger your performance anxiety. You are required to have some knowledge of women anatomy and to understand and be attentive of her sexual responses.

 

To get her sexual trust in you, she has to have faith in you. This requires her to get the sense that you understand what you are doing. She also needs to be assured that you are receptive of her sexuality and will not judge her negatively.

 

To recap, in order to create sexual chemistry with the woman you desire, you have to take the lead in your interactions with her, to make eye contact, to gradually increase the intimacy of your touch and to know what you are doing and what you want taking into consideration of her needs in bed.

 

Do you want to have a richer sex life? Do you want to satisfy women in ways that they never dream of? Give yourself a chance and check it out now at Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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Relationship Advice – How To Have A Richer Sex Life

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Most men want to be good in bed. Most men want to please their beloved women sexually. However, most guys are rather clueless in bed which prevents them from having a satisfying sex life.

 

Here are some reasons why many men fail in their bedroom:

 

(1)   Men assume women want the same things as they do

 

This is very normal because most of the time we do not really know what other people are thinking. In trying to figure this out, we sometimes assume that others have the same thinking as us. This creates a lot of misunderstanding.

 

When comes to sex, he will think that the rhythm and intensity of his penetration is probably what she wants when he is making love to her. This will also lead him to misinterpret her sexual signals.

 

(2)   Men follow blindly on the sex tips

 

Some guys really do make an effort to understand women and want very much to satisfy them sexually. They read women’s books or magazine articles about sex tips. They check out women’s magazines to find out what women are talking about and what they say they like. They hear about some lovemaking techniques that claim to drive all women wild.

 

The problem is what they are reading is about what one particular woman likes and the reality is women are grossly different in their sexual preferences. Not only that, what a woman likes can also change drastically with her mood and emotional state. It can change even more when she is with a different partner. With a different man, the chemistry changes and she is no longer comfortable with the same type of lovemaking that used to please her in the past.

 

Failure to realize that not all women are turn on in the same way will lead these guys to get frustrated with themselves and their women because they do not understand why the sex tips do not work.

 

A good way to avoid this problem is you should only try out a sex tip or lovemaking technique, which when read it, really turns you on. If on the other hand, you are applying a sex tip because someone told you that this will guarantee to keep your girl high, it can seem weird to her. She will probably sense that you are using her as a guinea pig to “try out a lovemaking technique” instead of being involved in making love with her.

 

(3)   Being overwhelmed with some unfounded insecurities

 

Some men worry about being not attractive or sexy enough. Others are concerned their “working tool” not big enough to satisfy females. These worries affect men’s  sexual performance and confidence.

 

For a woman, your ability to feel at ease with yourself is the biggest turn on. She can feel your confidence and this earns her sexual trust which allows her to totally surrender herself and reaches orgasm.

 

In a woman’s eyes, a guy who is comfortable with himself, who accepts his own sexuality and is confident about what he wants to do and what he enjoys in the bedroom is a great lover even if he does not read any sex tips or he does not have a big “sex weapon” between his legs.

 

What You Can Do To Overcome The Just-Mentioned Problems?

 

The good news is that most of those typical problems that guys have can be solved if they just need to do the one most important thing. What I am referring is “Paying Attention” or “Becoming Present”. It basically means that you “tune in” to the woman you are with. You “pay attention” to how she is responding and what she is feeling. By observing the changes on her body such as her breathing, her muscle tension, her moaning, the changing temperature of her skin, you will in the course of time be able to know what she likes and dislikes and what works and does not work on her.

 

Paying attention solves the first mistake because instead of assuming what she likes, you actually tune in and notice exactly what she likes.

 

Paying attention solves the second mistake because if a sex tip is working, you can continue with it and enjoy the whole process and you can drop it if it is not working.

 

Paying attention can solve most of those unfounded insecurities because it deviates your attention away from them as you refocus on her sexual responses at the particular moment.

 

Paying attention is therefore the single most essential tip for any guy who wants to improve his sex life. Once you get this basic correct and when you are ready to build upon this foundation for a long-lasting and fulfilling sex life, you can explore further on this topic at Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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The ABC’s Of Great Sex

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Ever wonder what is one of the things that kill sexual tension, attraction and arousal in a woman? This may be shocking to a lot of men because the answer to this question is trying too hard to please her!

 

Indeed, we often hear the message that women want a lover who can put her needs first. On the surface, this statement seems correct and most women will nod in agreement to it. But if you talk to them more, they will admit that they do not want a guy who is just catering to her needs.

 

She wants her man to enjoy the experience just as much as the guy wants her too. She does not want a guy who is overly concerned about whether or not she is enjoying it, so much so that he acts nervous to the extent that he gives away all of his masculine power to her.

 

You may also have heard of that statement about women do not like men who are “selfish in bed”. This statement is not quite right either. Selfish is not correct when a man forces his woman to do the things she does not feel comfortable with and in the process may hurt her.

 

What I am talking about is a guy knows what he wants and is not afraid to get his woman to do the things that meet his needs. Women are turned on by men who are masculine and confident enough to be not ashamed of what they want and go for it.

 

So, what can you do to get what you want in bed, without seeming selfish and in the process making her feel attracted and aroused? I shall narrow down the three basic requirements you can do to have what you want to the easy-to-remember term of “ABC”, where A is Anatomy, B is Body Control and C is Communication.

 

(1) Anatomy

 

Understanding female anatomy is the first thing you have to figure out so that you can know where to press the sensitive pleasure “buttons” on her body to get her reach orgasm. Let me list down these pleasure centers for you

 

(a)    The Clitoris

 

It is the biological equivalent of the male sexual organ and actually resembles one. You can find this erotic spot at the top of her opening. When a woman is aroused, it becomes filled with blood and gets erected, just like your member. Being quite delicate, you should not scratch, grind, bite or squeeze it.

 

The correct ways to stimulate this pleasure button are to use your clean and nail-trimmed finger(s) to softly rub it, to use your tongue to lick on it like you are enjoying ice-cream and to use your “little brother” to tease it by rubbing the tip of your male hood against her clitoris.

 

(b)   The Grafenberg Spot

 

Commonly known as the G-spot, it is the biological equivalent of the male prostrate gland. The g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina just above the pubic bone. You can locate this area by sliding one or two of your lubricated fingers with your palm up about 2-3 inches deep. Keep your fingers curled as you stroke the area just above the pubic bone.

 

(c) Ears

 

Nibbling her little ear lobes, licking her ears or just under the lobe and as you get closer to her ears whisper something dirty can be very stimulating to some women.

 

(d) Neck

 

The most sensitive part of the neck where you can kiss on to have the maximum stimulation is the area along the jaw line and just above the collar bones.

 

(e) Lower Back

 

This part of the back that meets the buttocks is very sensitive because of the abundance of the little nerve endings there. If stimulated correctly when she is in a relaxed state, it can be erotic-ticklish.

 

(f) The Buttocks

 

Besides grabbing her buttocks, a more sensual way to stimulate this area is by way of tickling. You can use your fingers, a feather or anything else starting from her back and moving slowly down to the butt.

 

(g) The Knees

 

The most sensitive part is the back of the knees which are quite ticklish to most women. But if she is relaxed, it can give exerting sensations similar to when you tickle under her buttocks.

 

(h) The Feet

 

Use slow movements to make the foot rub can be a very sensual experience to her. Add some lotions to your palms to help you glide along her foot.

 

(2) Body Control

 

The next important thing to do is to have control over your erection. This is because controlling your body is something that she sees as a masculine and powerful characteristic.

 

Here are some ways to delay your orgasm:

 

(a)    Practice contracting your PC muscles

 

PC muscles or pubococcygeus are located around your testicles, penis and anus and by contracting and relaxing them; you can better control your erection after some practices.

 

(b)   Press on your perineum

 

The perineum is located between your anus and scrotum. During orgasm, the prostrate gland expands and then contracts to expel the ejaculation fluid. Pressing on the perineum will block the flow. You can get your woman to press the area or you can do it yourself.

 

(c)    Slow down your breathing

 

When you are high in bed, either you hold your breathing or you breath becomes rapid. By controlling your breathing by slowly it down, you are more able to delay your orgasm.

 

(d)   Stop and start over again

 

(i)    When you are getting high and going further will cause you to ejaculate, you quickly pull out to let the sensation pass and do other things to stimulate her.

(ii)   Another way to do this by means of masturbation. When you masturbate, you are in certain ways practicing for intercourse. It is the best time to learn how to control your orgasm. You can practice your orgasm control by bringing yourself to the edge of orgasm and then stop and calmly bring yourself back to normal. It is very important to keep yourself calm throughout the whole process.

 

(3) Communication

 

Have you ever noticed that if some guys you know tell you that you are doing something wrong, you will feel it is no big deal and forget about the matter after two minutes? But if the woman you love behave like the guys do, you feel hurt and embarrassed. Men tend to take suggestions and frankness from their loved ones as a blow to their egos.

 

That is why it can be difficult for you to build this sexual connection with her. She is terrified of being so completely vulnerable with you for fear of rejection or provoking you. It is only when you establish this connection with her that she is able to totally surrendering herself to you sexually. That is when you can make her orgasm, literally at will.

 

To achieve this, you have to keep an open mind and not to regard her feedback as criticism. You are not a mind reader nor should she expect you to be. Encourage open communication at all times, even when you are in the middle of the act. Her feedback is very useful in helping you to figure out what you can do to turn her on.

 

As you can see here, pleasing her sexually can be as easy as ABC. Of course, there are always many things or ways you can do to make her orgasm and if you are keen to know more, you can go to Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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Female Orgasm- Some Kinky Ways To Make Her Less Shy In Bed

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Do you know what can be the difference between a “good girl” and a “bad girl”? This is a topic that captures my interests and after posing this question to a lot of men and women I am quite surprised at the wide range of opinions I get and how strongly some people fell about this issue.

 

You may not believe so but the truth is in most cases there is no difference between a “good girl” and a “bad girl”. I will explain to you why I believe so and I will also share with you why and how some shy and sexually reserved women can in an instant turn into passionate, sex-obsessed, wild girls and I will conclude by sharing with you some of the secrets that you can do to help her to be less inhibited in bed.

 

Let me explain my point with an example that is familiar to almost every guy. There was this boy who was very much in love with a beautiful and “good girl”. Because she was a “good girl” the boy thought he needed to go slow by starting to win her trust as a friend before trying to do anything sexual that could scare her away.

 

With this thinking he did many nice and thoughtful things for her and treating her with nice dinners and movies and developing into a very sweet friendship. True to her “good girl” nature, during these months, when she dated other guys, she often told him afterwards that the guys were losers and she never wanted to go out for a second date with them. However, the guy did not get anywhere with her sexually either.

 

When he made efforts in that direction, she confided in him that her last boyfriend had cheated on her. This caused her to be uncomfortable with sex and she just did not want to get sexually involved with any guys for the time being. The boy was quite confident sexually that if he persisted long enough, at some point in time he would win her over in the end because tat kind of thing often happens in the movies.

 

What he did not realize was that everything he did was exactly the wrong way to build sexual chemistry with a woman. Then one day something unexpected happened. While they were out at a popular night spot, some guys came over and started talking to them. The good girl even flirted with one of the guys right in front of him. He could not believe that the girl whom he perceived as good would like this jerk. When she was away for a while, the jerk told him that his girl had real nice buttocks that he felt like pinching it. When he told the girl about the remarks about her body she seemed quite pleased.

 

He was quite taken aback because to him she was a good girl who was not supposed to like men who think of her sexually. The flirtatious guy started buying her shots of liquor hoping to get her drunk and he cautioned the girl about this. But she did not appreciate this and even felt that the boy was irritating. At some point in time, the jerk suggested to the girl that they should go somewhere else; she started trying to get rid of the boy. The boy finally left feeling upset and hurt, still unable to figure out what actually went wrong. In his mind were questions like – “How could this have happened?” and “Was she actually a bad girl disguising as a good girl?”

You may have heard of similar stories or may have experienced this yourself. When having sex with her, she would not want to try anything slightly adventurous, she wanted to turn off the lights, she would not allow any oral sex or she was silent throughout the whole thing and never had any orgasms. It is after you split up with her that you found out that she has changed into a wild sex-kitten with her new boyfriend.

 

These stories probably make you feel disgusted because they remind you of something very real that almost every guy at times ever experiences. Some guys reacted very badly to this and lost faith in other women for the rest of their lives. They end up feeling women are phony and most of them are secretly whores.

 

But to develop such thinking is harmful and is not going to help men either. The reality is like men, most women are far too complex to be categorized as good or bad. People change and evolve. We behave differently under different circumstances. We tend to act in a different way to what we think of ourselves.

 

Those who understand this know that the idea of “self” or “personality” is very complex and this is even more complicated when comes to sex. Though you can control what you do but when comes to sex, it can be impossible to control what you think or how you feel.

 

That is why trying to label women into good or bad has no basis in reality. In fact, lurking inside the bodies of most women are both the elements of “good girl” and “bad girl” with either one of them being more dominant at different circumstances.

 

Even for a woman with very high moral standards, there are at certain times in her life she is less restraint in her sexual behavior. This behavior shift can even happen within a day. At night, she may behave like a wild beast that has been let loose and in the following morning she reverts back to her “normal” self. This usually tends to happen only when she meets the man whom she can feel sexually connects with at the particular moment.

 

The men who can achieve this tend to display a few important behaviors that can bring out the sexually open and adventurous side of women. The first one that every guy needs to learn is that women synchronize with your level of sexual comfort. That means if you are secretly shy, insecure or timid about your sexuality or sexual ability, she will feel the same way. It will be much harder for her to open to you or to really express her animal desires, because she will be feeling shy and ashamed of her sexuality when you are around.

 

On the other hand, if you are comfortable and confident with your sexuality or sexual ability and you know what you want her to do sexually without feeling embarrassed, she will then fell equally comfortable to show the sexually wild part of herself.

 

There are few things you can do to make her comfortable enough to let go sexually and they are as follows:

 

(1)   Be very open in an unapologetic manner about your sexual desires

(2)   The ability to enjoy the pleasure from her body without shame or embarrassment

(3)   Touch her in a confident way

(4)   Be totally receptive about her sexuality so that she can open up to you easily without the fear of being judged negatively

(5)   Have good understanding about female sexual response so that you can be confident enough to know exactly what you can do to give her an orgasm and be comfortable about the whole process

(6)   If you have any performance anxiety issues, deal with them immediately

(7)   Never act needy. Never let her get this feeling that your sexual ego is at stake. Getting her to open up to you sexually should not be linked to what you need to feel good about yourself sexually

 

The bottom-line is in order to get a woman to be very comfortable in opening up to you sexually she must first have trust in a man. Trust in this case is about a woman trusting a man to know what he is doing sexually. It is also about trusting that the man will not be judgmental about her sexual desires which can include the desires she may not totally feel comfortable with herself. She wants a guy who knows how to push the psychological buttons in her mind to generate the feeling of trust. She sexually desires a man who knows how to send a clear message to her, through his body, gestures, actions and words that he will not judge her for her desires because he is both totally comfortable with his and her sexuality.

 

Can you learn to do all of this? Of course you can! You can find more details at Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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