For Couples Who Are Busy – How To Have Sex

 

 

 

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You use to have lots of energy for fun sex, but those days are long gone and seem so far away. You always feel tired and are not sure how to get your sex life back. So, what can you do?

 

Below are some tips for you to try out.

 

(1)   Find out the real problem

 

Lack of sex because of tiredness happens to most couples and this lack of sexual desire can be due to other factors too. The problem with blaming, ’We are just too tired’ for passing on sex is it is usually a cover for other things that have gone wrong in the relationship such as lack of communication, build-up resentment, boring sex, the list goes on and on. In fact, there are many couples who have great sex lives and have more sex when they are tired because it is their way of relaxing and feeling good. Sex can flood the brain with endorphins and oxytocin, which are hormones associated with pleasure.

 

Instead of focusing on the issue of being exhausted, couples need to look at the bigger picture of how they are having sex. They can jointly come up with more realistic expectations on what is achievable for their present lifestyle and schedule. This can be started with a heart-to-heart talk outside the bedroom like, “We will be quite busy for the next 6 months. What can we do sexually and/or to stay connected even if we cannot have as much sex as we want?”

 

(2)   Set some time apart for sex date

 

If you are one of those so-called dual-income-no-sex (DINS) couples struggling with the daily grind of life, scheduling sex is the easiest way for a couple to keep their sex life on the radar. It may not seem romantic and probably make you feel like failures because you can no longer have spontaneous sex; however chances are if you do not schedule sex, it is not going to happen. The upside to scheduling is it takes away any negative feelings of who is going to initiate sex and wondering if tonight is the night to have sex. Research has proven that couples who schedule sex have more mutually satisfying sex.

 

Rather than going to a dinner or a movie, you can stay at home to have a sexually arousing evening. You can also create windows of opportunity for sexual connection at times other than at the end of a long day. You can also make love when your kids are sleeping or you can have sex in the morning or afternoon. You can also consider that wake-me-up-sex where you welcome your spouse waking you up while you are asleep which can be more arousing because our sex-related hormones are at the highest level of the day at between 8 am to noon. Therefore set your alarm early to enjoy some morning sex.

 

(3)   Just do it

 

If you can just get the ball rolling, momentum will usually take over. It takes a little bit of effort and time to transit out of the overworked and under-appreciated mommy mode into the hot, sexy, loving partner mode. But if you can get past this initial hesitation, your desire will follow. It only takes a little bit of caressing or kissing, maybe a touch here or there to get both of you started. Once you are in the mood, the thought of sleep will be gone. The more sex you have, the more testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin you release.

 

You can try this 10-minute rule. If you are not in the mood or feel too tired for sex, give yourself 10 minutes. According to research, half of the population feels amorous or horny and wants to initiate sex, while the other half is not interested in sex until after they start kissing and fooling around. Therefore give it a try when you feel tired next time. So, try kissing and fooling around for 10 minutes and see if you can get more aroused or interested.

 

(4)   Be a supportive partner

 

You have got to do something to help pick up some of your wife’s daily responsibilities. This will give her a little bit more energy left for her to feel horny and think of some sexy stuff to pleasure and please you. This should incentivize you to be a caring and supportive partner. While one spouse cleans up after dinner, let the more tired one takes a bath, relax or read a magazine or newspaper. If you can allow your partner the time for her to release stress, this will avoid sex from becoming like one more chores to her at the end of the day.

 

You can make things easier with better time management at home. Pick a time that both of you will be finished working so you do not just go straight to bed. Turn off the TV or computer at an agreed upon time. If you continue to let your career or housework to take precedence over your sex life, you are more likely or probably too exhausted for sex. If you can only have sex at the end of the night, you may end up choosing sleep over sex on a regular basis.

 

(5)   Self-seduction

 

Most women need to be stimulated mentally and/or physically before they actually feel turned on. As a woman, you can single-handedly transform your libido by trying self-seduction.

 

Throughout the day, you can conjure up past sexual experiences that really got you work up enough to get you into the sexy mindset. Feeling relaxed is also equally important. After you reach home, unwind with a glass of wine or do something else that will give you a mental break from the stressful things that may be affecting your sex drive.

 

It can be of great help to read a super sexy novel and you can add in self-stimulation if you want to. From this moment onwards, you make sex a top priority. Do not wait until the laundry is done to get down to business or until you collapse into bed, because by then your only desire will be to sleep.

 

Are you really too tired or honestly has sex becomes a little boring or too predictable? Maybe you would be less tired if sex was more fun, novel and engaging. Want to try something new and spice it up? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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How To Recover Your Sexual Libido

 

 

 

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The daily challenges in life, financial pressures, our jobs, taking care of kids, coping with aging parents and the like can take a toll on our desire for sex. This combines with the lack of sexual inventiveness can get us stuck in a sex rut which can hurt our desire. This can work in a vicious circle – low sex frequency leads to decreased sex drive and the depleted sex drive weakens the desire for sex.

 

How to get out of this situation so that you can have great sex again? Here are the 7 tips to help you to recover your sexual libido.

 

(1)   Thinking about sex

 

If you hope to increase our interest in sex we have to take some time to flood our minds with sexual thoughts. This involves reliving those great sexual experiences you have with your spouse or to think of some new ways you can try to spice things up. You can also read some great articles or how-to help books or watch some informative videos, which can educate and allow you to know what is needed to improve sex life. The point here is to stimulate your mind in ways to get you into the mood.

 

(2)   Increase your sexual attractiveness through dressing

 

The way you dress up yourself can play a great part in stoking those feel-good hormones, which can in turn influence your feeling of sexiness. How you look can influence how you feel. A changed outfit, a new fragrance, a makeover or a new hairdo can help to transmit the feeling that you are sexy and desirable. Even though you have grown accustomed to living with your spouse, this should not stop you from injecting some elements of surprise into the relationship, including the way you look.

 

(3)   Communicating with partner

 

Sharing sexy words can be a great way for a sex-starved couple to reconnect and feel more inclined for romance. These words can be flowery, poetic and romantic like an old love letter or they can be spicy or graphic like a heated novel.

 

(4)   Keep fit

 

Regular physical activity can boost the feel-good endorphins and can also improve your body image, promote blood flow to the sexual organs, making you feel sexier and giving your libido a healthy boost. In addition, Kegel exercises (done to tighten the pelvic muscles) can work to enhance sexual sensations and help boost desire.

 

(5)   Spending time with each other

 

Just you and your partner only, separate from kids and work, during which serious topics such as kids and work are not discussed. You can plan a weekly date such as going out for dinner or a walk; but not to the movies or other activities that may not be conducive to talking to each other. If you cannot afford a babysitter, go out on the porch and have a glass of wine together after the kids go to sleep. You can also find some interesting and exciting things to do together such as going for tours, enrolling for some dancing or yoga classes.

 

(6)   Allot some time to do something you enjoy

 

You can take time for yourself everyday even if this is only 10-15 minutes per day. This can help you to reduce stress and give you more energy for your partner. The more connected to who you are, the less you get lost in the daily grind, which pulls you away from your partner. The more sensual and the more connected you are to yourself, the more available you are for your partner.

 

(7)   Just do it

 

If you have not had sex for a while, it is likely that your sexual desire will decrease gradually. The best way to overcome this is to have sex even when you are not in the mood at times. If you try to wait for the mood to come, chances are that you will never have sex again. Research has shown that the more we have sex, the more sex we want to have. Connecting sexually promotes the secretion of the attachment hormone, oxytocin, which can increase libido.

 

So, you have it here, the 7 tips to increase libido in your relationship. If you want to explore further on this topic in greater details, you can click on Hot Sex and Turn The Heat On

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For Couples – How To Get Fit To Do It

 

 

 

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You may have already heard that exercise can also help to increase your sexual desire. It can stimulate the production of testosterone in both men and women thereby ensuring a better sex life. How do you improve your sex life with exercise? Here are some useful effective exercises that will not only help you perform great in bed but also enjoy it yourself like never before.

 

(1)   Pelvic lifting exercise

 

This is an exercise that aimed to strengthen the pelvic muscles for improving your sex life. The stronger and more tolerant your pelvic muscles are, the higher the chances you are able to last long in bed.

 

To do this exercise, you must lie on your back, knees bent and slightly apart, feet flat on the floor and arms by your side. Breathe in holding in your stomach and hips and lift the pelvic from the floor until your back is straight. Hold on to this position for about 10 seconds and breathe out as you lower your body. Repeat this for at least 4 to 5 times to get effective results.

 

An alternative way to do this pelvic lifting exercise is to do it with a fitness ball. You still lie on your back with knees bent but this time; you rest the lower half of your legs on a fitness ball. At this position, you lift the buttocks off the floor as you breathe in. You remain in this position for about 10 seconds and breathe out, then go back to the starting position.

 

You may also consider trying this pelvic lifting exercise. You lie on your back with your knees bent at 90 degrees and hands by your side. Now, you rest your left ankle on your right knee. With your right foot on the floor, you breathe in and lift your buttocks and back off the floor, while keeping your shoulders and head on the floor. You remain in this position for 10 seconds, then breathe out and back to the starting position. Now, you rest your right ankle on your left knee and you repeat the exercise.

 

Pelvic Lifting Exercise

 

(2)   Butterfly stretch

 

This exercise aims to strengthen the inner thighs to make them flexible. The inner thigh is another important area that is very active during sexual intercourse. The butterfly stretch exercise is also beneficial for menstrual irregularities urinary problems and is thought to help erase the pain of childbirth. This exercise can also be done sitting up, back-to-back with your partner.

 

To perform this exercise, you sit on the floor, soles of your feet touching each other in front of you and knees bent to the sides. You pull your heels towards you as much as you can to the point of ‘mild discomfort’ (not to the point of pain) while at the same time pressing your thighs towards the floor. You breathe in deeply and maintain this position for 10-30 seconds. You return to the starting position and repeat this exercise for 4 to 5 times. When doing this exercise, you should not hunch your back and avoid bouncing your legs because this can damage the hips and groins.

 

Butterfly Stretch Exercise

 

(3)   Kegel exercise

 

This exercise involves contracting the internal muscles (pubococcygeal muscles, widely known as PC muscles) attached to the pelvic bones. It strengthens the vaginal muscles (especially after childbirth), helping women gain greater control and helping them to orgasm faster. Besides it can help to tighten the entrance of the uterus thereby increasing pleasure and satisfaction level during sex. Men can use this exercise to delay ejaculation by contracting the PC muscles just before orgasm and then fully relaxing them.

 

Kegel Exercise For Man

 

To perform this exercise, you have to contract your PC muscles by clenching, as though stopping urine and holding there for at least 2 to 3 seconds per squeeze. Inhale as you squeeze each time and try to fully relax your muscles between each contraction. Start with just 10 to 20 squeezes and gradually increase to 100 to 200 per day. Daily workouts of 100-200 squeezes per day for about one month should yield results.

 

For women, kegel exercise can involve inserting small weights inside the vagina to strengthen the vaginal wall muscles. By using heavier weights over time, these muscles can become stronger and tighter giving a woman more control over the amount of pressure which she can squeeze.

 

Kegels can be practiced nearly anytime and in any place, while having meals, watching TV, reading or talking to people. Kegels are a fast, easy, convenient way for men and women to enjoy more and better orgasms.

 

Once you feel that you have good muscles control, it will not be necessary to continue the deliberate contractions. Your PC muscles will be able to maintain themselves once they are strong and healthy and orgasm will keep them contracting happily away.

 

Try these simple exercises to help you get more sexual pleasure from now on. For more ideas on how to improve sex life, click on Hot Sex and Turn The Heat On

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