How To Make A Relationship Both Emotionally And Sexually Arousing





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As the relationship gets older, boredom, lack of adventurous, physical ailments and other problems can easily cause bedroom life to lose some spark. All relationships therefore need a little pick-me-up actions to reconnect with your partner. These actions will make your partner feel loved, appreciated and desired, and will, in turn, make you feel more connected to him/her. One must understand that great relationships do not just happen,one has to make it work.If you are experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here are 3 ways you can do to bring sexy back into the relationship.

(1) Keep fit

Research has shown that healthy people have better sex lives. People who are physically fit tend to enjoy sex more and have a lower chance of facing up to any sexual dysfunction that can hurt their love life. In order to increase libido, you need to keep fit. This is done through having a healthy lifestyle. You need to exercise regularly. This will help to improve your blood flow especially to the genitals when you have sex. It will be best if you can do this with your partner in order to keep you from stopping halfway due to boredom.


Besides exercise, you need to have a diet that is low in fats and sugar and high in fiber and good nutrition. A balanced diet consisting of lots of fruits, vegetables, plenty of whole grains and proteins (fish, poultry and lean meats). You need to have enough of sleep (about 7-8 hours everyday) to allow your body the chance to refresh and recuperate. You should avoid or try as much as you can to cut down on alcohol and tobacco because they can affect your sexual function and overall health.


(2) Maintain communication

Communication serves as the ‘glue’ for a relationship. Intimacy needs honesty and openness. It is important that you are always honest and open with your partner. To do so, you need to be able to share what is true and real about yourself and be ready to hear your partner’s thoughts. You can tell your partner about the changes in your body that get you worried along with other issues that bother you about your sex life. If both of you want to have a mutually satisfying sex life, it is important to let each other knows what makes you feel good. Your partner will not be able to satisfy you if he/she does not know what you want. If you are unhappy over certain issues and want your partner to make certain changes, avoid been too critical.

Instead you package your request in a more positive way so that he/she will not get too defensive to the extent that it disallows 2-way communication. When you and your partner are not able to see eye-to-eye on certain issues, strive for a ‘middle path’ where both of you can agree with. Ask each other,”What would make both of us happy?”. If you are unhappy about your sex life, leave your concerns, worries and more negative issues outside the bedroom. You should not spoil the mood by talking about these during lovemaking.


(3) Build up your desire

Everything starts from the brain. You need to think about sex in order to feel and act sexy. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.

If you do not feel intimate and relaxed, start by making small changes one at a time. You can begin by taking the time to hug each other when perhaps you normally wouldn’t. You can do this before you go to work and when you return home. Increased hugging and holding hands with your partner, even if it does not feel natural at first, can help to increase intimacy. Maintaining physical affection is important to keep a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss and hold hands, even if you are tired or not in the mood for sex. This can both bring you physically and emotionally close to each other, which is needed in order to please and arouse your partner.

You can educate yourself by reading some self-help books which give you tips on improving your sexual technique. You will then know there are actually many other sexual positions you can try on besides the normal missionary position.

The above tips should help you to heat up the bedroom temperature gradually. For more tips to improve love life, you can read from Hot Sex and Eternal Flame


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How To Recover Your Sexual Libido




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The daily challenges in life, financial pressures, our jobs, taking care of kids, coping with aging parents and the like can take a toll on our desire for sex. This combines with the lack of sexual inventiveness can get us stuck in a sex rut which can hurt our desire. This can work in a vicious circle – low sex frequency leads to decreased sex drive and the depleted sex drive weakens the desire for sex.


How to get out of this situation so that you can have great sex again? Here are the 7 tips to help you to recover your sexual libido.


(1)   Thinking about sex


If you hope to increase our interest in sex we have to take some time to flood our minds with sexual thoughts. This involves reliving those great sexual experiences you have with your spouse or to think of some new ways you can try to spice things up. You can also read some great articles or how-to help books or watch some informative videos, which can educate and allow you to know what is needed to improve sex life. The point here is to stimulate your mind in ways to get you into the mood.


(2)   Increase your sexual attractiveness through dressing


The way you dress up yourself can play a great part in stoking those feel-good hormones, which can in turn influence your feeling of sexiness. How you look can influence how you feel. A changed outfit, a new fragrance, a makeover or a new hairdo can help to transmit the feeling that you are sexy and desirable. Even though you have grown accustomed to living with your spouse, this should not stop you from injecting some elements of surprise into the relationship, including the way you look.


(3)   Communicating with partner


Sharing sexy words can be a great way for a sex-starved couple to reconnect and feel more inclined for romance. These words can be flowery, poetic and romantic like an old love letter or they can be spicy or graphic like a heated novel.


(4)   Keep fit


Regular physical activity can boost the feel-good endorphins and can also improve your body image, promote blood flow to the sexual organs, making you feel sexier and giving your libido a healthy boost. In addition, Kegel exercises (done to tighten the pelvic muscles) can work to enhance sexual sensations and help boost desire.


(5)   Spending time with each other


Just you and your partner only, separate from kids and work, during which serious topics such as kids and work are not discussed. You can plan a weekly date such as going out for dinner or a walk; but not to the movies or other activities that may not be conducive to talking to each other. If you cannot afford a babysitter, go out on the porch and have a glass of wine together after the kids go to sleep. You can also find some interesting and exciting things to do together such as going for tours, enrolling for some dancing or yoga classes.


(6)   Allot some time to do something you enjoy


You can take time for yourself everyday even if this is only 10-15 minutes per day. This can help you to reduce stress and give you more energy for your partner. The more connected to who you are, the less you get lost in the daily grind, which pulls you away from your partner. The more sensual and the more connected you are to yourself, the more available you are for your partner.


(7)   Just do it


If you have not had sex for a while, it is likely that your sexual desire will decrease gradually. The best way to overcome this is to have sex even when you are not in the mood at times. If you try to wait for the mood to come, chances are that you will never have sex again. Research has shown that the more we have sex, the more sex we want to have. Connecting sexually promotes the secretion of the attachment hormone, oxytocin, which can increase libido.


So, you have it here, the 7 tips to increase libido in your relationship. If you want to explore further on this topic in greater details, you can click on Hot Sex and Turn The Heat On

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Does Low Libido Mean Impotence




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One in five men does not want sex? How can that be true? What defines a low libido? What is behind low sexual desire? What is the difference between impotence and low libido?


What Is The Difference Between Impotence And Low Libido


Impotence and loss of libido are 2 separate issues. However, men who suffer impotence normally experience a decrease in libido over time. When libido drops and impotence, or erectile dysfunction, is not a problem, there are many causes for this.


Causes Of Low Sex Drive


Aging plays a role, though some older men have a strong interest in sex, sex drive generally decreases with age.


Psychological issues – stress and anxiety from the strain of daily life, relationship or family problems, depression and mental disorders can affect sexual desire. Performance anxiety and premature ejaculation can also hurt sex drive. According to some research studies, almost one in three men reported premature ejaculation while less than one in five were worried about performance.


Paradoxically, too much closeness in a relationship can also sap libido. Some men who after seeing the way their wives experiencing labor pain or witnessed the whole process of giving birth in the delivery room, find it difficult to eroticize the mother of their children. If they also help in the care of the baby or young children, the resulting exhaustion can sap libido for men as surely as it does for women.


Medical problems – diseases such as diabetes; conditions such as obesity, high blood pressure and high cholesterol; some hair-loss remedies, anti-depressants, tranquilizers and other medications can adversely affect sexual desire.


Hormonal causes – testosterone level dips as men age and this means low sexual desire. Other hormones can play a role too such as low levels of thyroid hormone or, in certain rare cases, high levels of prolactin, a hormone produced in a gland at the base of the brain.


How To Cope With Low Sex Drive


Each cause of low sexual desire has its own treatment. When the root cause is due to low testosterone, men can take testosterone supplements.


If a prescription medicine hampers a man’s sex drive, he should ask his doctor about the possibility of swapping the medication with a similar-functioning one that does not cause sexual side effects.


When men improve their health through regular exercise and a low-fat diet, their libido is likely to increase.


In cases of stress due to work, or any other area of your life, you have to re-prioritize your activities.


Some problems such as depression or anxiety, intense job stress, family worries, serious marital conflicts, experiences of past abuse, or conflicts about sexual orientation may require professional assistance. In these cases, you need to seek professional help if the negative feelings interfere with the rest of your life that you can no longer able to experience pleasure.


Once the more obvious causes for a man’s low libido have been eliminated – prescribed medications, drug or alcohol abuse, or low testosterone – couple must work through discrepancies in their relationship to arrive at a solution.


For couples who have been together for a long time, anger or shouting matches with your partner can hurt sex drive. If you can work on your differences through couple therapy or some long, honest talks, good feelings will be restored and sex drive is likely to return to normal level.


Frequency of sexual activity is not the best measure of sexual interest. Some couples need not feel they have to have sex a certain number of times a week to have a good sex life. It is all about compatibility. It is about how happy the person next to you is in bed. Providing that makes you happy, too.


The advice here is not so much about getting more, but getting better. Feelings count too. If you look forward to sex and feel good about it before, during and after, that is the true measure of whether your libido is healthy.


Dissatisfaction with their sex lives affects about 15% to 16% of men. If you are one of them, this is not something you have to live with. There is much you can do to improve your sex life and your happy outlook in life. Read on more from Hot Sex and Overcome Low Libido

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How To Ask For What You Want In Bed

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What do you do if there is an obvious difference in sex drives in your relationship? You can pretend everything is okay; your partner will not realize your sexual frustration and situation will never improve. Eventually you will have to start talking with your partner in finding ways to bridge this difference in the level of interest in sex. Talking openly about your sexual desires, likes and dislikes can both improve your sex life and other aspects of your relationship. Here are a few tips to help you start working on your communication.


(1)   Defining the issues


Before talking with your partner, be sure what the issues are. How much sex do you like to have? What specific behaviors, specific outcomes (e.g. having an orgasm) do you want? Do you want more intimacy, more connection or more attention paid to you?


(2)   Picking the right time and location


Choosing a suitable time when both of you can focus on each other and on the issues you want to discuss. It is probably not a good idea to bring this up just before you are going to have sex. Location also makes a difference. Make sure you choose a place that is free of any distractions. If you bring up sex problems in bed it can hurt the mood for sex.


(3)   Determine your level of sexual interest


Your interest in sex is connected to many parts of your life. It helps a lot if you can try to recall the events in your life that have influenced your interest in sex. One approach you can try is to write about your sexual history. Having a better understanding of your sexual desire can help you to define the issues better when talking with your partner.


(4)   Putting your thoughts down in words


At times when we talk we may blurt out some words that hurt the feelings of our loved ones. Writing can organize your thoughts; help you to choose the words you want to say so that your tone does not sound accusing to your partner. Some people actually write their spouse a letter or an email and end up giving/sending it to them at a later point. This can be an effective way to communicate your thoughts and feelings and if done along with talking, can increase intimacy in your relationship.


(5)   Exchanging views with your partner


Communicating with your partner should be“2-way traffic”. It need not be just about you telling him/her your problems. You should try to understand your partner’s views about sex. It is very important that you listen and reflect back what your partner has said. The objective of this talking should be to get rid of any miscommunication problem and mistaken assumption.


(6)   Avoid putting the blame on your partner


Even if this is the fault of your partner, blaming him/her can cause your partner to get defensive and “mentally shut down” any message you are trying to get across. Use statements such as “I feel that……..” rather than “You make me feel like………”


(7)   Remember that both are responsible for making sex life better


Try to cultivate a sense of teamwork between the two of you rather than being on opposite side confronting each other. The ultimate goal should be the one you want to arrive at together in the spirit of cooperation.


(8)   Having a positive attitude


If you go into a conversation expecting that it will go poorly, your partner will never listen or will never change; it is much more likely to happen. Instead, go into it with the expectation that what you are going to say is productive and important and your partner can be receptive to what you have to say. If you are confident, your partner is going to hear/sense your confidence and trust what you are saying and most likely communicate more.


(9)   Discussing the options


Make sure you also ask your partner if he/she has any suggestions on how you two can make changes. Talk about the options available to you. Are you both willing to try counseling or therapy? If you know there is a good book that can help you to handle these issues, will you both be committed to reading it and talking about it regularly?


Adjusting to each other’s sexual needs is an ongoing process in a relationship. Both you and your partner need to take the time to make the necessary changes to improve your relationship. If you are keen to look further for more ideas to help your relationship, you can click on Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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How To Get What You Want In Bed Without Coming Across As Being Too Aggressive


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Talking about your views, needs and concerns on sexual matters with your spouse is the first step to get what you want out of sex in a marriage or in any long-term relationship. But this can be challenging to some couples who are either too embarrassed or do not know how to express their thoughts in a way that will not lead to arguments. However, effective sexual communication skills can both improve intimacy and sex life with your spouse. Here is a list of ways to improve sexual communication skills with your spouse.


(1)   Think first before you open your mouth


Before you bring up any sex topics with your spouse, you need to ask yourself what is the purpose and objective. If you have more than one objective, one of them should be for the purpose of improving your sex life. Once you are clear about what you want, you will next think of what and how you are going to say, taking into consideration your spouse’s feelings.


(2)   Create a conducive atmosphere


Choosing a suitable time and place where both of you can talk freely without any distractions (best if you can switch off your cell phone when you talk) is equally important. For example, if what you want is to have sex more often, before initiating it, make sure you build up the mood first like lighting a few candles, having a shower with your spouse, kissing him or her to get your partner sexually ready.


(3)   Put your message across in a positive way


You can strengthen the “good feeling” mood by focusing on telling your partner the things he or she does or should do to pleasure you. This positive feedback can make sex more enjoyable for both of you when your partner knows what you want and will concentrate his or her efforts on the things that turn you on.


(4)   Be very clear or specific in what you want


Tell your spouse exactly what he or she should do to arouse you. Be very specific. Say something like, “Look into my eyes when you give me oral. I like you to also lick the area between the scrotum and the anus and to spend a bit more time on the external area of the anus……” This can save time for your partner in trying to guess your sexual preferences. As a woman, if you can express what you desire clearly, you can help to make it easier to have orgasm faster for yourself, resulting in greater sexual satisfaction.


(5)   Let your hands do the talking


At times, it may not be necessary to talk. You can just use your hands to guide your partner to any part of the body that you like to be touched or to get into the sex positions you want. Some moaning if it happens naturally can also serve as an additional useful guide to your partner.


(6)   Show your partner you are enjoying if he or she is doing the right things


When your partner does something you enjoy while making love, do let him or her know. Give some positive responses or feedback such as moan, groan, or simply say, “Oh! That was wonderful. I love it when you do that. Some more! Harder!” Offering positive feedback can encourage your partner to spice up your sex life in more amazing ways because he or she will like you to reward him or her with ever more praises.


Keep in mind when you bring up any sex topics to your partner, that it is important for you to do it in a respectful way and in a non-accusing tone. Do you want to have a better sex life? Read on more from Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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