How To Make A Relationship Both Emotionally And Sexually Arousing





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As the relationship gets older, boredom, lack of adventurous, physical ailments and other problems can easily cause bedroom life to lose some spark. All relationships therefore need a little pick-me-up actions to reconnect with your partner. These actions will make your partner feel loved, appreciated and desired, and will, in turn, make you feel more connected to him/her. One must understand that great relationships do not just happen,one has to make it work.If you are experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here are 3 ways you can do to bring sexy back into the relationship.

(1) Keep fit

Research has shown that healthy people have better sex lives. People who are physically fit tend to enjoy sex more and have a lower chance of facing up to any sexual dysfunction that can hurt their love life. In order to increase libido, you need to keep fit. This is done through having a healthy lifestyle. You need to exercise regularly. This will help to improve your blood flow especially to the genitals when you have sex. It will be best if you can do this with your partner in order to keep you from stopping halfway due to boredom.


Besides exercise, you need to have a diet that is low in fats and sugar and high in fiber and good nutrition. A balanced diet consisting of lots of fruits, vegetables, plenty of whole grains and proteins (fish, poultry and lean meats). You need to have enough of sleep (about 7-8 hours everyday) to allow your body the chance to refresh and recuperate. You should avoid or try as much as you can to cut down on alcohol and tobacco because they can affect your sexual function and overall health.


(2) Maintain communication

Communication serves as the ‘glue’ for a relationship. Intimacy needs honesty and openness. It is important that you are always honest and open with your partner. To do so, you need to be able to share what is true and real about yourself and be ready to hear your partner’s thoughts. You can tell your partner about the changes in your body that get you worried along with other issues that bother you about your sex life. If both of you want to have a mutually satisfying sex life, it is important to let each other knows what makes you feel good. Your partner will not be able to satisfy you if he/she does not know what you want. If you are unhappy over certain issues and want your partner to make certain changes, avoid been too critical.

Instead you package your request in a more positive way so that he/she will not get too defensive to the extent that it disallows 2-way communication. When you and your partner are not able to see eye-to-eye on certain issues, strive for a ‘middle path’ where both of you can agree with. Ask each other,”What would make both of us happy?”. If you are unhappy about your sex life, leave your concerns, worries and more negative issues outside the bedroom. You should not spoil the mood by talking about these during lovemaking.


(3) Build up your desire

Everything starts from the brain. You need to think about sex in order to feel and act sexy. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.

If you do not feel intimate and relaxed, start by making small changes one at a time. You can begin by taking the time to hug each other when perhaps you normally wouldn’t. You can do this before you go to work and when you return home. Increased hugging and holding hands with your partner, even if it does not feel natural at first, can help to increase intimacy. Maintaining physical affection is important to keep a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss and hold hands, even if you are tired or not in the mood for sex. This can both bring you physically and emotionally close to each other, which is needed in order to please and arouse your partner.

You can educate yourself by reading some self-help books which give you tips on improving your sexual technique. You will then know there are actually many other sexual positions you can try on besides the normal missionary position.

The above tips should help you to heat up the bedroom temperature gradually. For more tips to improve love life, you can read from Hot Sex and Eternal Flame


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For Couples – 7 Ways To A Happy Sex Life





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Do you miss those sexy, curious, early days when you are newly in love? These 7 tips can sure help you to bring back and relive those good old days.


(1)   Pump up the adrenaline


Adrenaline can act as an aphrodisiac for a committed relationship. It can inject some oomp into otherwise stale and ordinary days which tend to happen in a long-term relationship. When you stimulate your body, this will have a trickle down effect of stimulating both your mind and emotions.


Do something extraordinary with your partner. This will show your partner how much you care. Give bungee jumping, roller-coaster riding or watching horror movies, a try, if you dare. If you find that this is too extreme, you may consider horseback riding, go-karting, sampling exotic cuisines, enrolling for dancing or yoga classes or travelling to some exotic places together.


(2)   Sexy talk


Whispering sweet words into his/her ears, sending sexy text messages to let your partner know he/she is on your mind when you are apart can increase the emotional connection between the both of you. Sexting is a great way for committed couples to flirt with each other and make each other smile. It is also a good way to build anticipation which is like mental foreplay that could lead to the physical kind, too.


(3)   Encourage 2-way talking


It is essential to have a real conversation at least once a week. This should go beyond the day-to-day type of topics. Couples who communicate well with one another and share activities together are often more active in sex. Before spicing things up with toys or sexy lingerie, work on your communication skills.


Besides talking, you also need to know how to listen to keep the 2-way communication open. Pay attention to body language too. When you need your partner to do something or to make some changes, you package your requests in the form of compliment such as “I really enjoy very much when you for an evening walk to the park with me.” This will avoid the request from becoming like a complaint which can trigger defensive behavior.


Try to detach your emotions from the conversation. In times of strain these will be heightened which could lead to further conflict as you will be hypersensitive to remarks. If you are particularly upset about something, it will be better to vent out your frustration on paper rather than blurting it out. This will allow you to release any negative emotions as well as giving you the time and chance to organize your thoughts so that you can present your issue in a non-confrontational way.


(4)   Show appreciation and support


Besides saying, “I love you”, do not forget to say “thank you” to show your appreciation for the nice, little things he/she did for you. Remember to give compliments to let your partner know you still find him/her physically and emotionally attractive. Volunteer to help out if you can, when your partner is overwhelmed with too many things on hand.


Such nice, little, thoughtful daily gestures can have a cumulative effect to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, reducing the chances of breaking up when the relationship is under stress by some unexpected happenings. The wonderful thing is these acts of consideration and appreciation do not cost you any.


(5)   More kisses


Do you still remember those days when you were dating him/her, you often kissed each other when you met or when you were about to leave? Besides being an act of intimacy, the way you kiss can make or break a woman’s feelings for you. Kissing becomes a forgotten act for many couples in long-term relationships, unless this occurs during foreplay. Couples who kiss regularly tend to have sex more often. Most important, you kiss not just for the sake of initiating sex, but because you love and enjoy the feeling of kissing him/her.


(6)   Maintain eye contact when having sex


Eye contact immediately raises the intimacy level of any sexual act. Closing your eyes can sometimes send the wrong message that you are only present physically, but not emotionally or spiritually. Keeping your eyes open and looking directly into him/her reassures your partner that it is he/she that is turning you on in the particular moment.


(7)   Trying new things in the bedroom


Most people would love their partner to suggest something new to spice things up. Couples tend to stuck into a few things that they know and stop experimenting. But the brain is the biggest sex organ and any time you try something new, you are stimulating the brain’s natural desire for novelty.


Want some more ideas to improve sex life? Click on Hot Sex and Great Lover

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How To Cope If Either One Of You Want More Sex

Find Out More From Here If You Have Sexual Incompatibility Issues

It is pretty normal for every couple to face with this situation in which one of them has a higher sex drive. The one with the higher sex drive may not necessarily be the guy. What can cause the differences in sex drive? How to cope with this discrepancy in sexual desire? Read on!


What can cause the difference in sex drive?


(1)   Relationship problems


This happens as a result of differences on matters such as who should contribute more for household expenses and who should pay for which item, child rearing and relationship with in-laws. When couples cannot resolve conflicts over these matters, one of them will bear a grudge against the other one. This bottled up anger can cause the aggrieved side to lose sexual interest on his/her partner. This can also lead to him/her using the withholding of sex as a weapon to punish his/her partner.


(2)   Insufficient knowledge about sex


If one or both of you are raised in societies where there is no sex education or where sex is a taboo and being looked negatively as something dirty or immoral, this can prevent you from looking for ways to enrich and spice up your sex life. You or your spouse may think that sex is just meant only for procreation and cannot see any relationship between sex and pleasure.


(3)   Psychological issues


Stress over work or child rearing, performance anxiety, lack of sexual confidence, past histories of sexual abuse, physical or mental ailments, drug abuse, medication (drugs such as those for hypertension can hurt sexual desire) can leave either one of you to lose interest in sex.


(4)   Differences in the way you and your spouse look at sex


You and your partner may have different baseline sex drives and/or may prioritize sex differently. This may not be any serious relationship problems, only mere differences in the way how each side thinks about sex.


(5)   Not enough passion


Absence makes the heart grows fonder. Not enough space for each other, with both sides sticking to each other like a piece of chewing gum can be stifling and hurt passion in the long run. The pressures and expectations we put on our intimate relationships may kill the passion in lovemaking.


How to cope with discrepancies in sexual desire?


(1)   Avoiding blaming your partner


It is always very easy to blame others when problems crop up. This can only cause the other side to get defensive and discourage your spouse from working together with you to come up with solutions. Even if you feel most of the problems lie with your partner, it is better to find out what the causes are or how they arise.



(2)   Talking to your partner


When relationship problems crop up, it is best to find the space and time to talk to your partner. If you do not talk to your partner, you will not be able to discover the roots of the problems and he/she may not be aware of the existence of problems or your concerns.   Before you talk to your spouse, make sure you think before you talk, avoid putting the blame on him/her, begin your statements with “I” such as, “I think…..” or “I am concern about ……..” and always remember to listen. However if the situation deteriorates to the point where both of you cannot talk to each other without ending up in arguments, you will have to find a counselor or therapist.


(3)   Working towards a compromise


It is very unrealistic to expect everything to go according to the ways you want. A relationship is a series of constant adjusting to each other and involving lots of give and take. Finding sexual compromise is much easier when you lay down all your sexual options on the table for both sides to review over them in the process of working through the differences in sexual desire.


(4)   Looking for self-help resources


There are many books you can find in book shops, libraries or online that touch on issues like sex drive discrepancies in long term relationship. You can find them here by clicking on how to have more sex for Him or Her.

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How To Ask For What You Want In Bed

Find Out More From Here About How You Can Communicate For Better Sex

What do you do if there is an obvious difference in sex drives in your relationship? You can pretend everything is okay; your partner will not realize your sexual frustration and situation will never improve. Eventually you will have to start talking with your partner in finding ways to bridge this difference in the level of interest in sex. Talking openly about your sexual desires, likes and dislikes can both improve your sex life and other aspects of your relationship. Here are a few tips to help you start working on your communication.


(1)   Defining the issues


Before talking with your partner, be sure what the issues are. How much sex do you like to have? What specific behaviors, specific outcomes (e.g. having an orgasm) do you want? Do you want more intimacy, more connection or more attention paid to you?


(2)   Picking the right time and location


Choosing a suitable time when both of you can focus on each other and on the issues you want to discuss. It is probably not a good idea to bring this up just before you are going to have sex. Location also makes a difference. Make sure you choose a place that is free of any distractions. If you bring up sex problems in bed it can hurt the mood for sex.


(3)   Determine your level of sexual interest


Your interest in sex is connected to many parts of your life. It helps a lot if you can try to recall the events in your life that have influenced your interest in sex. One approach you can try is to write about your sexual history. Having a better understanding of your sexual desire can help you to define the issues better when talking with your partner.


(4)   Putting your thoughts down in words


At times when we talk we may blurt out some words that hurt the feelings of our loved ones. Writing can organize your thoughts; help you to choose the words you want to say so that your tone does not sound accusing to your partner. Some people actually write their spouse a letter or an email and end up giving/sending it to them at a later point. This can be an effective way to communicate your thoughts and feelings and if done along with talking, can increase intimacy in your relationship.


(5)   Exchanging views with your partner


Communicating with your partner should be“2-way traffic”. It need not be just about you telling him/her your problems. You should try to understand your partner’s views about sex. It is very important that you listen and reflect back what your partner has said. The objective of this talking should be to get rid of any miscommunication problem and mistaken assumption.


(6)   Avoid putting the blame on your partner


Even if this is the fault of your partner, blaming him/her can cause your partner to get defensive and “mentally shut down” any message you are trying to get across. Use statements such as “I feel that……..” rather than “You make me feel like………”


(7)   Remember that both are responsible for making sex life better


Try to cultivate a sense of teamwork between the two of you rather than being on opposite side confronting each other. The ultimate goal should be the one you want to arrive at together in the spirit of cooperation.


(8)   Having a positive attitude


If you go into a conversation expecting that it will go poorly, your partner will never listen or will never change; it is much more likely to happen. Instead, go into it with the expectation that what you are going to say is productive and important and your partner can be receptive to what you have to say. If you are confident, your partner is going to hear/sense your confidence and trust what you are saying and most likely communicate more.


(9)   Discussing the options


Make sure you also ask your partner if he/she has any suggestions on how you two can make changes. Talk about the options available to you. Are you both willing to try counseling or therapy? If you know there is a good book that can help you to handle these issues, will you both be committed to reading it and talking about it regularly?


Adjusting to each other’s sexual needs is an ongoing process in a relationship. Both you and your partner need to take the time to make the necessary changes to improve your relationship. If you are keen to look further for more ideas to help your relationship, you can click on Hot Sex and Eternal Flame.

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Why She Refuses To Have Sex With You

Click Here For Easy Ways To A Better Sexual Relationship

Good communication can improve relationships and help to increase intimacy in marriage which leads to a better sex life. Poor communication skills can cause misunderstanding, breeding anger and resentment and eventually hurting each other’s sex drives. Here are some examples of those unhealthy communication patterns that can plant the seeds of further conflicts in a relationship.


(1)    Bottling up your feelings


Some people may feel that it will hurt a relationship if they are being frank or do not want to be seen as petty. As a result, they allow those unhappy feelings to accumulate until they “explode” out of a sudden in a destructive way. It is therefore healthier to discuss any unhappiness in a calm, respectful and non-accusing tone such as beginning with what you are going to say with “I”.


(2)    Self denying


Instead of trying to understanding the other person’s point of view, some people act in a defensive way, denying any wrongdoing. By not admitting their own mistakes, defensive people will continue with their mistakes, thus prolonging unhappiness in a relationship.


(3)    Making sweeping statements


Avoid talking in ways like, “You always……” or “You never………” By doing this, you are trying to dig up past issues and lump them together with your present ones. This only complicates matter and drives each other further away from efforts to resolve conflicts.


(4)    Refusing to compromise


It is unrealistic to always have things totally in your way, seeing your own views as correct and refusing to consider the other person’s point of view. It is always better to work towards a compromise and agree to disagree. You should accept the fact that there is no always a right or a wrong and both views can be valid.


(5)    Second guessing


Instead of trying to understand their partner’s thoughts and feelings, some people assume they know everything about their partners’ thoughts and worse still interpreting them negatively. This can only create further misunderstanding and increase hostility.


(6)    Refusing to listen


Some people only care about wanting others to listen to them but do not have the patience to hear what the other person is talking about. By refusing to listen, you will not be able to discover the roots of the conflicts/misunderstandings thus forgoing the chances of coming up with effective solutions to your relationship problems.


(7)    Blaming the other person


Some people are just too proud to admit their own faults and when any problem happens, they quickly put the blame on others. Instead, try to view the conflict as an opportunity to analyze the situation objectively, assess each other’s needs and work towards a solution that helps both parties.


(8)    Trying to score points in an argument


Some people are afraid of losing face and keep on arguing. Relationship can only get better with mutual understanding and respect of each other’s needs. If you focus on trying to prove yourself right and the other person wrong, you will only worsen matters and “poison” your relationship.


(9)    Making personal attacks


Instead of focusing on the problem, some people resort to personal attacks. This can only distract each other’s attention away from problem solving as the other person being attacked get defensive.


(10)  Refusing to talk or listen


This shows disrespect and contempt to the other person. It is much better to listen and discuss things in a respectful manner.


Keep in mind you need to have mutual understanding and respect of each other first in order to improve your relationship. Conflicts are unavoidable and part of a relationship. The key is how you handle them properly. If you are keen to look for more ideas to achieve longstanding harmony and happiness in your relationship, you can click on to Hot Sex and Eternal Flame


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