You Want More Sex Than What You Have With Him Now, What Can You Do?

 

 

 

 

Your husband feels that having sex once a week is enough. But you want more. It is very normal for couples to have different levels of sex drive. This in itself is not a problem. The big problem is how to deal with the situation in ways that can meet both people’s needs.

 

Possible reasons for his low sexual desire could be biological, medications (such as anti-depressants), heart diseases, performance anxiety, emotional (such as loss of job), fluctuation of sex-related hormone (testosterone) and relationship issues.

 

If a man is not interested in sex, it does not mean he must be suffering from sexual dysfunction which contributes to a drop in desire. Most of the time, the real reason men do not want to have sex are very similar to the reasons that women do not want to have sex. These could be due to underlying, unresolved relationship problems. One of the biggest complaints among men is that their wives are critical or nagging, which can hurt a guy’s sex drive. Many men (similar to women) really need to feel emotionally connected to their wives in order for them to want to be sexual.

 

When face with a husband who is less interested in sex, women normally think something must be wrong with them, they are not attractive or loveable, or this could be due to their physical appearance. Could this be the real reason? The answer is both yes or no.

 

Most of the time is no and could be his problem such as stress, tired and the reasons just stated. At other times, this can be a real issue. A lot of men complain that their wives do not eat well, do not exercise or do not pay attention to their appearance. Men are more visually oriented when it comes to arousal. If women really want their husbands to be more interested in them, they should pay more attention to how they are taking care of themselves physically.

 

Communication is most important in every relationship. Frustration builds up when a couple is not able to communicate about problems, desires, fears or a host of other regularly unspoken issues that impact their sexual experience and overall relationship. Communication allows difficult topics to be openly discussed. Tell each other what you like about your sex life, what acts are more fun and what turns both of you on.

 

When couples are able to convey their feelings to each other without intimidation, worry of reprisal, or embarrassment, they are able to relate to one another within a context of acceptance. This often requires learning better communication skills. It is also important for couples to learn how to forgive one another to keep the barriers to communication from preventing intimacy. Your husband will not be able to change significantly without openness, honesty and acceptance developing between both of you. Most important, he must need to know he will not be ‘punished’ for his honesty.

 

Intimacy also involves commitment and caring. Both of you are committed to the well-being and development of the other. Being caring means you are willing to provide your partner with the sexual experience that pleases him on his terms, in his way and in his time frame. You can ask him what you can do to get him turned on. Maybe you and he can be more open to trying role-playing, sex toys, different lubricants, enjoying erotic movies together, exploring different sexual positions, etc.

 

Figuring out how things can be done differently is not as difficult as one might think. Recalling your past usual repetitive behavior and to make it a point to do something different no matter how weird or crazy it may be can make it all the more easier. You may not be able to see and get fast results which mean you need to be patient when you try to make any changes.

 

You can also spice things up by being seductive. You whisper in his ear and tell him all the things you would like to do to him and how it will make you feel. At times, you can seduce your many by playing hard to get as well. Write him an erotic story about you and him. Write your fantasy down and invite him to make it a reality. Show him that you still care about him and that he turns you on. When he does something that does turn you on, tell him that this is what you have been craving. This will boost both is ego and libido a lot if he has performance anxiety problem.

 

If he is under a lot of stress, try to make him feel relaxed. Give him a neck rub or back massage or play some soothing music to calm him when he gets home.

 

If you have approached your husband without being demanding and controlling and he is still not willing to be open and honest with you, seeking professional marriage counseling is still a good option even if you end up going by yourself.

 

There is no one universal solution for boosting your husband’s sexual desire. What you can do is trying to create more love, connection, sexuality, sensuality and affection that will ultimately lead to a more healthy and balanced relationship.

 

So, do it! Do something today so you and your spouse can be more intimate! If you need some more ideas or ways to get started, you can click on Let’s Do It and Turn Him On

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For Couples Who Are Busy – How To Have Sex

 

 

 

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You use to have lots of energy for fun sex, but those days are long gone and seem so far away. You always feel tired and are not sure how to get your sex life back. So, what can you do?

 

Below are some tips for you to try out.

 

(1)   Find out the real problem

 

Lack of sex because of tiredness happens to most couples and this lack of sexual desire can be due to other factors too. The problem with blaming, ’We are just too tired’ for passing on sex is it is usually a cover for other things that have gone wrong in the relationship such as lack of communication, build-up resentment, boring sex, the list goes on and on. In fact, there are many couples who have great sex lives and have more sex when they are tired because it is their way of relaxing and feeling good. Sex can flood the brain with endorphins and oxytocin, which are hormones associated with pleasure.

 

Instead of focusing on the issue of being exhausted, couples need to look at the bigger picture of how they are having sex. They can jointly come up with more realistic expectations on what is achievable for their present lifestyle and schedule. This can be started with a heart-to-heart talk outside the bedroom like, “We will be quite busy for the next 6 months. What can we do sexually and/or to stay connected even if we cannot have as much sex as we want?”

 

(2)   Set some time apart for sex date

 

If you are one of those so-called dual-income-no-sex (DINS) couples struggling with the daily grind of life, scheduling sex is the easiest way for a couple to keep their sex life on the radar. It may not seem romantic and probably make you feel like failures because you can no longer have spontaneous sex; however chances are if you do not schedule sex, it is not going to happen. The upside to scheduling is it takes away any negative feelings of who is going to initiate sex and wondering if tonight is the night to have sex. Research has proven that couples who schedule sex have more mutually satisfying sex.

 

Rather than going to a dinner or a movie, you can stay at home to have a sexually arousing evening. You can also create windows of opportunity for sexual connection at times other than at the end of a long day. You can also make love when your kids are sleeping or you can have sex in the morning or afternoon. You can also consider that wake-me-up-sex where you welcome your spouse waking you up while you are asleep which can be more arousing because our sex-related hormones are at the highest level of the day at between 8 am to noon. Therefore set your alarm early to enjoy some morning sex.

 

(3)   Just do it

 

If you can just get the ball rolling, momentum will usually take over. It takes a little bit of effort and time to transit out of the overworked and under-appreciated mommy mode into the hot, sexy, loving partner mode. But if you can get past this initial hesitation, your desire will follow. It only takes a little bit of caressing or kissing, maybe a touch here or there to get both of you started. Once you are in the mood, the thought of sleep will be gone. The more sex you have, the more testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin you release.

 

You can try this 10-minute rule. If you are not in the mood or feel too tired for sex, give yourself 10 minutes. According to research, half of the population feels amorous or horny and wants to initiate sex, while the other half is not interested in sex until after they start kissing and fooling around. Therefore give it a try when you feel tired next time. So, try kissing and fooling around for 10 minutes and see if you can get more aroused or interested.

 

(4)   Be a supportive partner

 

You have got to do something to help pick up some of your wife’s daily responsibilities. This will give her a little bit more energy left for her to feel horny and think of some sexy stuff to pleasure and please you. This should incentivize you to be a caring and supportive partner. While one spouse cleans up after dinner, let the more tired one takes a bath, relax or read a magazine or newspaper. If you can allow your partner the time for her to release stress, this will avoid sex from becoming like one more chores to her at the end of the day.

 

You can make things easier with better time management at home. Pick a time that both of you will be finished working so you do not just go straight to bed. Turn off the TV or computer at an agreed upon time. If you continue to let your career or housework to take precedence over your sex life, you are more likely or probably too exhausted for sex. If you can only have sex at the end of the night, you may end up choosing sleep over sex on a regular basis.

 

(5)   Self-seduction

 

Most women need to be stimulated mentally and/or physically before they actually feel turned on. As a woman, you can single-handedly transform your libido by trying self-seduction.

 

Throughout the day, you can conjure up past sexual experiences that really got you work up enough to get you into the sexy mindset. Feeling relaxed is also equally important. After you reach home, unwind with a glass of wine or do something else that will give you a mental break from the stressful things that may be affecting your sex drive.

 

It can be of great help to read a super sexy novel and you can add in self-stimulation if you want to. From this moment onwards, you make sex a top priority. Do not wait until the laundry is done to get down to business or until you collapse into bed, because by then your only desire will be to sleep.

 

Are you really too tired or honestly has sex becomes a little boring or too predictable? Maybe you would be less tired if sex was more fun, novel and engaging. Want to try something new and spice it up? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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How To Cope If She Has A Lower Sexual Desire Than Yours

 

 

 

 

Find Out More From Here The Ways You Can Jump-Start Your Sex Life

 

Are you unhappy with your sex life because she has little or lack of sexual desire? What can you do when you are faced with this situation?

 

Do you have any of the following symptoms–

 

(a)    You have sex maybe 10-12 times in 3 years

(b)   She has little or no interest in sex and any other sexual activities

(c)    Sex becomes a chore for her

(d)   You initiate almost all sexual activities

(e)    When she does initiate it, she wants to quickly get over with it

(f)    You no longer have any sexual fantasies about your partner

(g)   You do not feel connected to each other emotionally and sexually

(h)   You increasingly feel lonely, dissatisfied, unloved and empty

 

If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you are likely to face the situation of a low or no-sex relationship or sexless marriage. There may be many underlying reasons for a woman to be not interested in sex and it is very normal for you to feel frustrated when you have unmet expectations.

 

Here are a few suggestions that you can try at least to start the ball rolling in order to reverse this trend of decreasing sexual desire.

 

(1)   Reclaim your sexual side for yourself

 

Orgasm is a great stress reliever and there is a need for an outlet for your sexual release. A way you can do is to masturbate. This will help to keep your emotions in check if the level of frustration continues to intensify. Do remember that it is your responsibility to keep in touch with your own physical needs.

 

(2)   Touch her in non-sexual ways

 

Studies have shown that a simple touch can reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, decrease pain and fear, inhibit loneliness and release endorphins in the brain that not only make us feel loved, but want to give love in return.

 

Affection and non-sexual touch can build trusts, deepen intimacy and strengthen a relationship. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and gentle massage of the neck, shoulders and back are wonderful ways to show affection without the pressure of sex. You need to break the touch barrier that is happening between the both of you.

 

(3)   Have a heart-to-heart talk

 

You can put across how you feel to your woman in a non-confrontation way. You can say something like this – “I love you. I feel that something that is important to me is missing in our relationship. I need a more intimate relationship.” Then ask her to set aside a time to have the most open and honest conversation about sex that you can ever have with her.

 

If she says no, ask if she would prefer to do it with the help of trained personnel such as marriage counselor or a sex therapist who is non-judgmental and unbiased. If she still says no, tell her that being in a sexless marriage is not what you want and you are willing to work with her to make life together better and that you are asking her to be willing to do the same.

 

During the open and honest conversation there is a need to find out about your woman’s sexuality such as whether she ever feels sexy, either alone or with you; whether she can pinpoint anything that happen to her in the past that can cause her to hold back sexually; has she ever masturbated or have an orgasm; any reasons for her for not wanting to have sex.

 

There is a need on your part to be dedicated and patient enough to help her discover her sexuality, possibly for the first time. You must also be willing to do whatever it takes to let her feel comfortable enough to feel sexual.

 

You need to tell her that you feel unloved, dissatisfied and empty when being trapped in a low-sex or sexless situation. Explain to her that you are willing to do anything to make sure she will enjoy a sexual relationship with you as much as you will.

 

If her level of sexual experience is an issue, offer to show her what feels good for you. Also ask her to show you what feels good to her, the better if she is willing to masturbate in front of you. Help her to embrace her sexuality and encourage her to share it with you. Learning how to love and please each other is a great bonding experience which can help to strengthen a relationship.

 

Living in a sexless relationship for long times is very stressful and unhealthy physically, mentally and emotionally. All it takes is the willingness to invest the time and energy to do whatever it takes to save your marriage/relationship by revitalizing your sex life.

 

If you are willing to explore further and avail yourself of more ideas to make sex great, you can click on Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

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6 Eating Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Click Here For Fun Ways To Rekindle The Passion In Your Sex Life

Improving your sex life can be a lot easier. You do not need to stuff yourself with those mostly medically unproven aphrodisiacs. What you need to do to get a robust sex life is simply to let your body digest a broad range of vitamins and nutrients from your daily diet. The basic requirement for a healthy sex life is to have a well-balanced diet.

 

I am going to highlight the 6 things you need to take note of in your eating habits that can help to improve your romantic life as well as overall health

 

(1)   A balanced meal vs. a carbohydrate-heavy meal

 

Susan Kleiner, a registered dietician, recommends your meal should include protein and fiber, such as yogurt with fresh berries or peanut butter on whole wheat toast, soya food products (such as tofu or soybean curd), smoked salmon scramble, high protein oatmeal banana chocolate chip mookies (muffin and cookie combo), vegetables, high fiber fruits (guava, pineapple, green apple, lime, lemon), low sugar soya milk, low sugar red bean soup, low sugar barley soup. As this combination of protein- and fiber-laden food needs a longer time for your body to digest, you will be able to stay energetic most of the time, so you can enjoy the sensuous moment with your partner.

 

Avoiding eating too much of those refined carbohydrates foodstuff such as bagel with cream cheese, refined cereals, cookies, puddings, pasta, custards, processed grains, doughnuts, cakes, candies, soft drinks, soda which can quickly raise your blood sugar level and then shortly plunge causing you to feel lethargic and have less mood for sex.

 

(2)   Plain water and fruits vs. sugar-laden caffeinated drinks

 

When you wake up in the morning and/or after your normal workout, it is a good idea to drink enough of plain water to replenish the loss of fluid and to prevent yourself from getting dehydrated. How much of fluid is enough for you? The best guide is to look at the color of your urine. If it is yellowish, it means your body is still lack of water and this means you have to down a few more glasses of plain water. Throughout the day, you can supplement this with low-calorie beverages (e.g. green tea, Chinese tea, fruit juices) and fruits with high water content (e.g. water melons, lime, red grapes, lemon, carrot, tomato) to meet your body requirements. Keeping yourself hydrated can help you to stay mentally and physically alert most of the time to give you that “extra mileage” in bed.

 

A cup of coffee or tea can perk up your morning and help you to stay focused, but more than 2 cups can over-stimulate and get you feel tensed even at the end of the day. Avoid drinking too much of those sugar-laden beverages (natural fruit juice is okay) or soft drinks that can cause your blood sugar level to swing widely.

 

(3)   Eating unsaturated fats vs. red meat and processed baked food

 

If you stick strictly to a very low-fat diet, your body will be deprived off those fats that necessary to produce the sex hormones (testosterone, estrogen) which can dampen your sex desire. A way to overcome this is to eat healthy unsaturated fats (especially those with omega-3 fatty acids) that can be found in olive oil, fatty fish, nuts and cod liver oil. For women, omega-3 fatty acids can help to prevent premenstrual syndrome and post menopausal hot flashes.

 

Avoid eating too much of those unhealthy saturated and trans fats which can be found in red meat and processed baked food. They can clog up your blood vessels and restrict blood flow to the genitals. According to a study done by the University of South Carolina School of Medicine on the cholesterol levels and sex lives of 3,250 men between ages 26 and 83, high levels of total cholesterol and low levels of high-density lipoprotein (HDL which is the good cholesterol) are the major causes for erectile dysfunction.

 

(4)   Eating chicken, fish and lean protein vs. high calories junk food

 

Our bodies need enough of protein to maintain the dopamine level in the brains. Dopamine is associated with the feelings of happiness and romance and may help men with erectile dysfunction problem.

 

Avoid eating too much of those fast food, fried foodstuff (such as fried potato chips) that can cause unwanted accumulation of unhealthy fats in your body which can eventually hurt your sex drive. Should you feel the urge to nibble anything or snack out of boredom, you can consider melon seeds, low-fat frozen yoghurt, unsalted roasted pumpkin seeds, unsalted roasted sunflower seeds, unsalted roasted peanuts, and unsalted roasted cashew nuts.

 

(5)   Having a glass of wine after meal vs. over 2 glasses of wine, beer, or liquor

 

A glass of wine (especially red wine) can help in blood circulation which is good for the heart and also get you in the mood for intimacy and lovemaking by keeping you relaxed. However, too much of alcoholic beverages can depress your central nervous system, making you feel sleepy and dampening your mood for sex.

 

(6)   Munching on dark chocolates vs. having a heavy meal before sex

 

According to a German study published in the journal Appetite, chocolate can help to immediately boost the mood of most women and this effect can linger on for about 90 minutes. On the other hand, having a heavy meal will divert most of the blood flow to your digestive system and very little to your genitals which can hurt sexual performance.

 

So, you have here the 6 food tips for a healthy sex life. Basically, what is good for your overall health is good for sex. Especially for men, what is good for your heart will help in maintaining erection. If you are eager for more ideas to bring back the gusto in your sex life, you can click on Hot Sex and Rock Hard.

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