What If Your Partner Wants More Or Less Sex Than You

 

 

 

Click On Here To Find Out How You Can Bring The Passion Back Into The Bedroom

 

The number one sexual problem facing most couples is low or no sex or discrepancies in sexual desire between spouses. Studies have found that one in three women and one in seven men report low sexual desire.

 

When one spouse pushes for sex while the other tries to avoid it at all cost, conflict, frustration and boredom will often happen in the relationship. Often with inhibited desire of one spouse, the other spouse becomes pushy and resentful, which leads to lack of affection and closeness. The longer the couple avoids sexual contact it becomes harder to break the cycle. The longer they hold back from sexual contact, the more they tend to blame each other.

 

Low sexual desire can have a lot of causes. These may include childhood sexual abuse, guilt regarding previous sexual activities or partners, performance anxiety, lack of genuine feelings for one’s spouse, shame about a sexual fetish or lack of physical attraction.

 

Having said so, the occasional lack of desire is normal. In extreme times of conflict, when there is death, financial or work issues, it is normal not to feel sexual. Sometimes partners do not feel the same sexual desire. One may just want a kiss but the other may want an orgasm. It becomes a problem when it is chronic and when conflict over sex happens very often.

 

Maintaining sexual desire, attraction and trust is an ongoing process that takes effort and initiative for both individuals. When a couple’s sexual expression begins to lag and lack excitement, the key to rebuilding marital sexual desire is to enjoy non-demanding pleasuring, increasing intimacy and having fun together. Both members must be committed to revitalizing the sexual energy.

 

What Are The Important Components For Maintaining Sexual Desire?

 

(1)   Jointly solving the problem as a couple

 

Regardless of what originally caused the problem, it is easier to break the cycle if you are able to talk about the sexual difficulty as a couple issues. Viewing a lack of sexual desire as a couple problem reduces guilt, defensiveness and blaming.

 

(2)    Anticipate and plan for sexual encounter

 

Once in while (every few months) think of something nice you can do for your partner. Spoiling your spouse is definitely a win-win proposition for a relationship. Best is when you can tease your partner about what you plan to do and keep this in his/her mind for days before it happens.

 

(3)   Recognize that sex is more than just intercourse and orgasm

 

Spend time kissing, holding hands, touching and being together in intimate ways. This can include showering or bathing together, romantic or erotic dancing, playing games like strip poker. The key to healthy marital sexuality is to find a mutually comfortable level of intimacy while allowing space and freedom to experience sexual desire and eroticism.

 

(4)   Be open to sexual experimentation

 

Too many couples walk into the bedroom without a plan and have the same old boring sex. Variety is the sexy spice of life and will do a lot to enhance your sexual desire. It is only fair you take turns initiating new ideas. To help your partner plan out a fun sex evening, let him/her knows what you will like to do. Both of you can fill out a ‘sex wish list’ and exchange this with each other. This will get you all juiced up.

 

(5)   Maintain a regular rhythm of affection and sexual contact

 

Try to be intimate in some form on a regular basis. The longer couples avoid sexual contact, the harder it is to break the cycle. Maintain sexual contact during difficult times even if initially you are not in the mood. The intimacy at these times will bring you closer and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

 

Creating positive sexual desire does not have to be complicated, although it may take a little time and effort. Here are a few ideas to get you going. But for a full, sizzling collection of many more fun ideas, read on more from Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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Why She Dislikes Having Sex

 

 

 

Find Out More From Here The Ways To Get Back The Sex Life You Want

 

What causes a woman to dislike having sex and why she likes to keep it this way? Can a guy do anything to reverse this? Here are 5 ways to make sex fun for you and her.

 

Why Does A Woman Hate Having Sex

 

Before trying to overcome the barriers to a great sex life, it will be useful to understand what causes her to dislike having sex.

 

Even though most women are able to voice out their unhappiness, some choose to hide their feelings. If your woman behaves in this manner, both of your sex life can be seriously affected. Sexual intercourse will be like going through the motion because he is not emotionally and sexually connected to you. Worse still, she may withhold sex and use this as a bargaining chip.

 

A woman who feels been neglected by her partner or whose husband cheated on her can impede her desire to connect sexually. For her, there is a lot of wrong in the relationship and sex is no easy remedy. If the guy refuses to face up to this issue by seeking out ways to resolve the problem by open discussion or getting professional help, then chances are he will not find a willing, passionate sex partner.

 

Of course, there are some women who never, ever actually enjoy having sex. While some will try to work this out with their men in looking for ways to get the most out of their sexual relationship, others are resigned to the idea that sexual frustration is with them to stay. With expectations significantly lower, she will not be able to have orgasm.

 

How To Fix A Low-Sex Relationship

 

While there is no guarantee of a quick fix, the following ideas should at least start the ball rolling before the situation gets too serious to require the services of a counselor or therapist.

 

(1)   Pay attention to her

 

It is every guy’s responsibility to become intimately well-informed with the woman he wants to have great sex with. You need to pay attention to her signals in daily life. You need to know what she likes and dislikes and to understand what makes your woman feel angry, hurt, insecure or loved.

 

(2)   Avoid making her feel being treated as a sex object

 

While a man offers love to have sex, a woman needs to feel emotionally connected before she can get in the mood for making love. If you are only nice to her when you want to have sex with her, she will only feel that you are treating her as a sex object. A woman’s main sexual organ is her brain. If you do not work on her brain by making her feel loved and respected as your partner and wife, she is not going to get turned on by way any of your sexual techniques. Therefore treat her with kindness and consideration in and outside the bedroom.

 

(3)   Assure her

 

When she is naked, assure her with appropriate comments and touching. Women who worry about the way they look down there are less likely to orgasm easily during sex. According to a study done by the Journal Of Sex Research, women who feel embarrassed or ashamed about their bodies have less sexual experience and are less sexually assertive.

 

(4)   Strengthen emotional intimacy

 

This can be done by having real communication with each other regularly, which I mean both talking and listening attentively. If there are any disagreements, resolve them as soon as you can to guard against the storing up of anger and resentment. There is also a need to make an effort to spend time together. Couples who can relate well with one another and share activities together tend to be more active in sex.

 

(5)   Enjoy the process and not to be concerned over the outcome

 

There is a need to recognize that sex is not always perfect. You have to learn to relax and surrender to the moment and simply enjoy the process. If the outcome is not what you expect, see this imperfection as an enriching experience and a chance for you to improve on it later.

 

I am sure you never want to be a lousy lover in bed. Get yourself acquainted with the various sexual techniques and customize/tailor-made them to match with her needs. You can find out more about this by clicking on Hot Sex and Great Lover

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How To Cope If She Has A Lower Sexual Desire Than Yours

 

 

 

 

Find Out More From Here The Ways You Can Jump-Start Your Sex Life

 

Are you unhappy with your sex life because she has little or lack of sexual desire? What can you do when you are faced with this situation?

 

Do you have any of the following symptoms–

 

(a)    You have sex maybe 10-12 times in 3 years

(b)   She has little or no interest in sex and any other sexual activities

(c)    Sex becomes a chore for her

(d)   You initiate almost all sexual activities

(e)    When she does initiate it, she wants to quickly get over with it

(f)    You no longer have any sexual fantasies about your partner

(g)   You do not feel connected to each other emotionally and sexually

(h)   You increasingly feel lonely, dissatisfied, unloved and empty

 

If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you are likely to face the situation of a low or no-sex relationship or sexless marriage. There may be many underlying reasons for a woman to be not interested in sex and it is very normal for you to feel frustrated when you have unmet expectations.

 

Here are a few suggestions that you can try at least to start the ball rolling in order to reverse this trend of decreasing sexual desire.

 

(1)   Reclaim your sexual side for yourself

 

Orgasm is a great stress reliever and there is a need for an outlet for your sexual release. A way you can do is to masturbate. This will help to keep your emotions in check if the level of frustration continues to intensify. Do remember that it is your responsibility to keep in touch with your own physical needs.

 

(2)   Touch her in non-sexual ways

 

Studies have shown that a simple touch can reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, decrease pain and fear, inhibit loneliness and release endorphins in the brain that not only make us feel loved, but want to give love in return.

 

Affection and non-sexual touch can build trusts, deepen intimacy and strengthen a relationship. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and gentle massage of the neck, shoulders and back are wonderful ways to show affection without the pressure of sex. You need to break the touch barrier that is happening between the both of you.

 

(3)   Have a heart-to-heart talk

 

You can put across how you feel to your woman in a non-confrontation way. You can say something like this – “I love you. I feel that something that is important to me is missing in our relationship. I need a more intimate relationship.” Then ask her to set aside a time to have the most open and honest conversation about sex that you can ever have with her.

 

If she says no, ask if she would prefer to do it with the help of trained personnel such as marriage counselor or a sex therapist who is non-judgmental and unbiased. If she still says no, tell her that being in a sexless marriage is not what you want and you are willing to work with her to make life together better and that you are asking her to be willing to do the same.

 

During the open and honest conversation there is a need to find out about your woman’s sexuality such as whether she ever feels sexy, either alone or with you; whether she can pinpoint anything that happen to her in the past that can cause her to hold back sexually; has she ever masturbated or have an orgasm; any reasons for her for not wanting to have sex.

 

There is a need on your part to be dedicated and patient enough to help her discover her sexuality, possibly for the first time. You must also be willing to do whatever it takes to let her feel comfortable enough to feel sexual.

 

You need to tell her that you feel unloved, dissatisfied and empty when being trapped in a low-sex or sexless situation. Explain to her that you are willing to do anything to make sure she will enjoy a sexual relationship with you as much as you will.

 

If her level of sexual experience is an issue, offer to show her what feels good for you. Also ask her to show you what feels good to her, the better if she is willing to masturbate in front of you. Help her to embrace her sexuality and encourage her to share it with you. Learning how to love and please each other is a great bonding experience which can help to strengthen a relationship.

 

Living in a sexless relationship for long times is very stressful and unhealthy physically, mentally and emotionally. All it takes is the willingness to invest the time and energy to do whatever it takes to save your marriage/relationship by revitalizing your sex life.

 

If you are willing to explore further and avail yourself of more ideas to make sex great, you can click on Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

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How To Turn Her On Again When Sex Frequency Is Declining

 

 

 

Find Out More From Here Easy Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

 

Has it ever happened to you that when you snuggle up to her, she will say – I do not want to have sex tonight, dear; I have a headache? Do you at times have to do a lot of coaxing and persuasion in order to nudge her into sex?

 

Are you faced with any of the following symptoms –

 

(a)    1-2 times per month

(b)   Sex becomes a chore

(c)    Do not feel intimate after sex

(d)   You do not have any sexual fantasies about your partner

(e)    It seems only one of you are more keen on sex

(f)    There is no sense of adventure or spontaneity in sex

(g)   Neither of you are frisky in the bedroom any more

 

If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you are probably facing the situation of a low-sex marriage.

 

In whatever category you and your partner find yourself belong to, chances are you may still have experienced your share of sexual rejection in your relationship. You may have had to endure a period of ‘drought’ when your partner is not in the mood for sex. While some couples do not see this no-sex or low-sex situation as an issue, it can be a cause for concern to others. This is especially so when one party is never in the mood and the other is always quite keen.

 

If you have this problem of no-sex or not enough sex in your relationship, here are the 6 tips that will help you to improve sexual intimacy

 

(1)   Share sexual expectations

 

It is necessary that partners discuss with one another their sexual needs and wants particularly in relation to the regularity or frequency aspects. Ask your partner how often and when he or she would like to be intimate. Does he/she prefer making love in the morning or at the end of the day?

 

Through this exchange of views, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you may think. If there are big differences in these expectations, jointly come up with a plan that can take into consideration each other’s needs and giving some room for compromise.

 

(2)   Recognize each other’s differences in sexual desire

 

It is very unlikely that your appetite, the amount of sleep you require, how sociable you are and other aspects of your personality will always be perfectly matched with your partner’s. Therefore it is nothing weird or abnormal if you want more or less sex than your partner. A couple must learn not to make this issue a deal-breaker.  By seeing this as a very normal sexual issue, you can negotiate your sexual needs and talk about your sex lives in an honest and respectful way. It will then be possible to reclaim the intimacy and closeness you are both missing.

 

(3)   Be respectful to the low sexual desire partner

 

If you are the one with a higher sex drive level, you have to accept that you may get less sex than you would ideally like. You have to learn not to over-react to a ‘no’ to sex and accept it respectfully. Avoid sexual bullying, begging or manipulating. This is indeed a very tough act to follow and it helps a lot when the low-desire partner can at the same time be more understanding of the high-desire partner’s needs.

 

(4)   Get to the root of the problem

 

Remember that you cannot have good sex in a bad relationship. Probe deeper to see if there are any underlying resentment or anger from/towards your partner that act as an obstacle to greater intimacy. Hormonal fluctuations, medication, past sexual trauma, painful sex or undiagnosed illness can all have an impact on our sexual desire. Face up to all these issues and look for ways to resolve them. Seek professional help if you are unable to change things on your own.

 

(5)   Strive for greater intimacy

 

Intimacy in a relationship is not automatic. It must be developed and nurtured through cultivating an environment characterized by mutual trust and respect, deep communication and time-together. You cannot be intimate if you do not talk and spend time with each other. Making your spouse’s needs a priority is an excellent way of breaking down the barriers to a great sex life.

 

(6)   Sometimes have sex even if the mood is not there

 

If we just wait for the mood to come to have sex, some of us would never have it. This seems contradictory to what I said about learning to accept ‘no’ to sex. But marriage is all about mutual love and respect and compromise which involves at times giving way to his/her needs. Once you start the ball rolling and just do it, desire and arousal often follow.

 

Do you know what you are doing in bed can both turn on and turn off your partner? Want to polish you sexual skills? Click on Hot Sex and Have More Sex

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