How To Face Up To Differences In Sex Drive

 

 

 

Find Out From Here The Ways To Improve Libido In Your Sex Life

 

Do you feel pressured because your partner wants more sex than you? Do you feel neglected because your partner refuses to make love as often as you want to? If this sounds familiar, you are definitely not alone. In fact practically any couple who has been together for any real length of time experience different level of sexual desire.

 

However sexual incompatibility need not mean the end of an otherwise good relationship. If you are willing to reassess your attitudes, negotiate your sexual needs and talk about your sex lives in an honest and respectful way, you can reclaim the intimacy and closeness that is weakening in your relationship.

 

How serious is the low libido problem?

 

One survey revealed that 33.4% of women and 15.5% of men reported lack of sexual interest. Though losing interest in sex may not be as common an occurrence for men as it is for women, but when men lose interest in sex, it scares them a lot more because their masculinity is so linked to their sexuality.

 

Loss of libido also makes men more likely to be unhappy about the rest of their lives than it does for women. Only 23% of men with loss of libido say they still feel very happy about life in general versus 46% of women.

 

Libido loss does not usually happen suddenly. It is a gradual process. When most relationships first begin there is high degree of passion and sexual frequency. Sex often happens effortlessly and spontaneously and desire feels mutual due to the newness of discovering one another as well as the newness of the relationship. After about 18 months, this new-found excitement and intrigue begins to wane and different sexual patterns can start to emerge. It can feel confusing and disheartening and you may question whether you are sexually compatible or if you still love your partner.

 

Desire fluctuates for a variety of reasons. Stress, fatigue, depression, performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, certain types of medication and ill-health can all contribute to problems. Hormonal changes can cause loss of libido and any underlying resentment or anger towards your partner will also interfere with your motivation to be intimate.

 

What to avoid?

 

One of the most damaging mistakes you can do is to blame one another for the different levels of sexual interest. Often the person with the lower sex drive is being targeted as the main cause of the problem. This can cause the accused person to get defensive and this can lead to greater sexual frustration.

 

How to face up to low libido

 

An important step is to acknowledge that both of you are different people with different levels of desire. After all, if your desires to eat, sleep, socialize, or exercise is unlikely to be perfectly matched with your partner’s, the same can also happen to your sex drive. Both also need to take responsibility for addressing this issue and making the necessary changes and adjustments.

 

It can be a bit embarrassing to talk about your sex lives and to clarify with your partner about what turn you on and what do not, but it is critical in re-establishing and maintaining a satisfying sex life. Couples experiencing desire discrepancy are encouraged to negotiate their likes and dislikes or to look for ways to compromise. Do not compare your sex life to anyone else or what you see in porn. What matters most is what is right for you as a couple.

 

In dealing with marital anger as a cause of low libido, you can either consider couples therapy or a real heart-to-heart talk. But in the meantime, it may be possible to jump-start your sex life. How to do it?

 

Well, just do it! A common misconception about sex is that we should get into the mood first before we do it. However the professional view is that if we keep waiting for the desire to come, some of us would never have sex again. It is sometimes important to just have sex even if you are not in the mood. Once you start, desire and arousal often follow. Do not let the time between sex drags on for too long.

 

Of course, it is most important that this has to happen under the situation when mutual feelings of kindness and respect already exist in the relationship. In this way you will be able to be open to your partner and experience sex as an act of love rather than a performance or just going through the motion.

 

It is also important to shift our attitudes towards sex by treating it as not just erections, orgasms and penetration and. Instead it should be regarded as a source of pleasure and intimacy. In meeting each other’s needs, you have to accept that you may get less sex than you ideally like and have to look for other ways to feel emotionally and physically close.

 

The bottom-line here is not about getting more sex, but getting better. Frequency should not be the sole measure of libido. Feelings count too. How you feel about the whole lovemaking process should be the true measure of whether your libido is healthy.

 

Want to look for more ways to improve sex life? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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Love Making – How To Make It Fun

Click Here For More Ways To Make Sex Fun

Want to satisfy a woman enough during sex to make her crave it? Want to make her cum more easily and preferably over and over again? Looking for tips on how to blow her mind, keep her coming back for more? These bedroom shortcuts will help your wife or girlfriend reach orgasm in a jiffy. Try these tricks to get her dripping wet in bed.

 

(1)   The right temperature

 Make sure the room is at a comfortable temperature prior to engaging in sex. Use a fan during intercourse to keep from overheating. Even a slight chill can hold off an orgasm. A room temperature of 27 degree Celsius is good for sex.

 (2)   Start sweet

Sweet treats on her tongue will ring her brain’s reward bells, making her ripe for arousal. Seduce her by hand-feeding her fruits with unusual textures such as pomegranates.

 Chocolate may work as well. Not only can chocolate add some color to your sex lives, it is also believed that chocolate stimulates the production of endorphins, which provide a sense of pleasure or pain. Apparently, chocolate contains a natural substance that allegedly stimulates the same reaction in the body as the feeling of falling in love.

 

If your lady absolutely loves chocolate, why not dip your stick in some and let her have a taste of Mr. Dick? You’d be surprised at how enjoyable fellatio can feel when a woman has the pleasure of devouring a chocolate-covered member.

 

            (3) Stimulate her breasts

 

Women tend to be very proud of their breasts. Not only are they showing them off more than ever before, but they want you to pay serious attention to them during foreplay and lovemaking.

 

Many guys do not know how to stimulate a woman’s breasts in a way that will be pleasing to her. Simply grabbing a breast as though it was cookie dough and chewing on the nipple is going to get you nowhere fast.

 

Just like with anything sexual, you want to start off slowly and softly. You do not want to grab your lover’s breasts too hard, and you do not want to start pinching her nipples right away. You want to lead up to more direct and aggressive stimulation only after you have sufficiently gotten your girl turned on.

 

During foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms and sides of her breasts first. Gradually move towards her nipples, paying attention to how she responds. As things heat up, her nipples will become flushed with blood and the sensory receptors will become primed for direct stimulation. You can then harden your tongue and flick it back and forth and slowly take it into your mouth, at which point you will begin to suck and nibble simultaneously. If her nipples are not hard, you can usually manipulate each one by sucking it and then releasing it from your mouth whilst inhaling so that it creates an icy sensation.  In this way, you will kick-start the blood flow and lubrication down below, starting her slow build-up.

 

        (4)  Head downwards

 

Go slow during manual stimulation. If she is not wet, don’t start playing with her clitoris before you have touched, kissed and sucked her in other places such as her lips, neck, earlobes, nipples, tummy, lower back, buttocks, inner thighs and toes.

 

When she is ready, lightly brace the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now, run your ring and middle fingers along the length of her outer vaginal lips. Graze the skin at first, adding pressure as the tension builds. As she becomes aroused, brace your hand on her mons – the fleshy area that covers her pubic bone – and tease the clitoris with the middles and tips of your fingers as you move your entire hand.

 

You can vary the motion, firmness of your touch, and the speed with which you touch her. Your main aim is you should be turning her on and you should feel the clitoris swelling and expanding. Ask her to tell you what she likes, when she wants it harder or softer, faster, slower, or differently, and when she wants you to keep doing what you are doing.

 

           (5)  Enter her deep

 

 Penetrating as deep as possible during sexual intercourse is a great way to connect emotionally and physically with your lover. Choosing sex positions that allow for deeper penetration can help her to cum faster and your sex life even better. Try these positions to go deeper inside her.

 

             (a)  Doggy style

 

This is probably the best sex position for going deeper to stimulate the g-spot. By entering her from behind as she bends over, your penis will stimulate her cervix. This sends pleasure signals to her brain through the vagus nerve. You can experiment with the way you position your pelvis to find out what feels best to you and your woman. By tilting your pelvis towards your stomach, your penetration will be shallower, or by arching your back and tilting your pelvis away from your stomach, you will be able to go deeper.

 

            (b) Ankles-on-shoulders missionary

 

You can modify the missionary position to create the deepest penetration possible, while still being able to be eye to eye with your girl. You get your girl to bring her legs back towards her stomach and hook her ankles on your shoulders. With you on top, you arch up a little so that your torso is away from her body. By adjusting the distance between your torso and her body, you will be able to experience the difference in penetration depth between this modified missionary sex position and traditional missionary.

 

            (c) Woman on top


This position allows your girl to control pretty much everything, the speed, depth and angle of thrusting. As a result, this often allows a woman to have an orgasm more easily than if the position is reversed and you are on top. To get deeper penetration when she is on top, you spread your legs with knees bend to allow her to push her pelvis down closer to yours and let her vagina to slide all the way down to the base of your penis. This is a great position for female orgasm, because the closer her pelvis is to yours, the more friction will be created during sex, offering stimulation to both the clitoris and vagina. You can experiment with different pelvic positions to find out which one feels the best to you and your woman and allows for the deepest penetration.

 

Looking for more tips to get her enjoy sex? You can read the rest of them from here and/or this place.

Source: luv2sex.info

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