How To Find Time For Sex If You Are Busy




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After you have kids, it is often the children’s needs took precedence over other needs and the chances are your sex life will be affected. By the time kids have gone to bed, probably both of you are quite exhausted. But one day the children will be gone. It is therefore very important to keep the closeness and intimacy in the relationship by taking time and effort to foster it. This means putting romance at the top of the to-do list in your daily life.


All you need is a new approach to time and energy management especially when it comes to making time and saving enough energy for lovemaking with your partner. You may not be able to have spontaneous, carefree sex, but there are simple ways of reintroducing sex and reminding yourselves how much you enjoy it. The following are some ways on how to create the spark for romance during those wonderful and precious moments while not sacrificing your time for rest and not compromising your roles as responsible parents.


(1)   How to get back into sex if you haven’t had sex for a while or feel like you have lost the passion?


Try to take it easy by starting with just cuddling and stroking each other naked, but without going all the way unless you want to. Get to know each other’s bodies again, maybe with a sensual massage or having a bath or shower together and remember what you use to enjoy.


Women may even find things feel different after having a baby, so it really can be a voyage of discovery. At other times, hold hands, touch and kiss every chance you get. The key is trying to relax into it and going with the flow. The feelings you stir up may surprise you.


(2)   How to find time for each other?


This requires you to talk it over and make the commitment to set aside quiet time for intimacy. You can pick one night of the week for your ‘special date’ and make it sacred. If one of you is required to travel due to job duties, you can pick an alternate night to your pre-arranged fun night and stick to it. To spice things up, you can take turns planning what to do on your date nights.


Many couples are just too exhausted to have sex once they have sent the kids to bed. This is normal and perfectly okay. How about trying something new like making love in the morning? Our testosterone levels are higher in the morning (peaking at 10am) than at other time of the day. This is one of the reasons men wake up with an erection. For women, morning sex is also good for them because all the life’s distractions that interfere with arousal are still ‘submerged’ under their ‘semi-sleeping’ minds. Therefore, try taking advantage of the sleepy comfort of making love in the morning on a weekend when you do not feel the need to wake up at the crack of dawn.


Another way is, if you are too tired to have sex, you go to bed but set the alarm. Once the alarm goes off, give yourself an hour or so to get intimate. Then take turns giving one another a massage until both of you go back to sleep.


(3)   Try quickie sex


How about having quickie sex in the shower? Let’s face it; having fast sex is sometimes better than no sex at all. Let your kids enjoy their favorite computer games as a ‘reward’ for good behavior or good exam results and let them know mommy and daddy are going to do some ‘area cleaning’. For sure, kids will leave you alone because they seldom volunteer for household chores. With foot rests, handles, vibrating sponges, handcuffs and water-proof display cards, this set-up is supported with super powerful suction caps to stay put while you and your partner get wet. Do take note that water washes off water-based lubricants, so get a silicone based lubricant for shower sex.


When you are doing quickie, you can take turns to be the center of attention – it gets to be all about you tonight and all about your spouse tomorrow tonight. In this way, each of you gets an opportunity to orgasm as much as you want without the pressure to perform. You will save time and energy and give each other something to look forward to.


(4)   Block out all distractions


Nothing spoils the mood more than those unnecessary or irritating distractions. Therefore turn off all those electronic gadgets that include computer, cell phone and Blackberry. Some workaholic bosses have this annoying habit of (not giving you peaceful time even after office hours) texting or calling their staff during late nights or early hours in the morning. If you are addicted to your smartphone, you will have to leave it in another room, locked up.


Getting creative is the key to find new ways to have time for making love. So after you have finished reading this, do not linger too long in front of the computer and start getting into the act! Want to get some more ideas to keep the passion ongoing? Click on Hot Sex and Turn The Heat On

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For Couples Who Are Busy – How To Have Sex




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You use to have lots of energy for fun sex, but those days are long gone and seem so far away. You always feel tired and are not sure how to get your sex life back. So, what can you do?


Below are some tips for you to try out.


(1)   Find out the real problem


Lack of sex because of tiredness happens to most couples and this lack of sexual desire can be due to other factors too. The problem with blaming, ’We are just too tired’ for passing on sex is it is usually a cover for other things that have gone wrong in the relationship such as lack of communication, build-up resentment, boring sex, the list goes on and on. In fact, there are many couples who have great sex lives and have more sex when they are tired because it is their way of relaxing and feeling good. Sex can flood the brain with endorphins and oxytocin, which are hormones associated with pleasure.


Instead of focusing on the issue of being exhausted, couples need to look at the bigger picture of how they are having sex. They can jointly come up with more realistic expectations on what is achievable for their present lifestyle and schedule. This can be started with a heart-to-heart talk outside the bedroom like, “We will be quite busy for the next 6 months. What can we do sexually and/or to stay connected even if we cannot have as much sex as we want?”


(2)   Set some time apart for sex date


If you are one of those so-called dual-income-no-sex (DINS) couples struggling with the daily grind of life, scheduling sex is the easiest way for a couple to keep their sex life on the radar. It may not seem romantic and probably make you feel like failures because you can no longer have spontaneous sex; however chances are if you do not schedule sex, it is not going to happen. The upside to scheduling is it takes away any negative feelings of who is going to initiate sex and wondering if tonight is the night to have sex. Research has proven that couples who schedule sex have more mutually satisfying sex.


Rather than going to a dinner or a movie, you can stay at home to have a sexually arousing evening. You can also create windows of opportunity for sexual connection at times other than at the end of a long day. You can also make love when your kids are sleeping or you can have sex in the morning or afternoon. You can also consider that wake-me-up-sex where you welcome your spouse waking you up while you are asleep which can be more arousing because our sex-related hormones are at the highest level of the day at between 8 am to noon. Therefore set your alarm early to enjoy some morning sex.


(3)   Just do it


If you can just get the ball rolling, momentum will usually take over. It takes a little bit of effort and time to transit out of the overworked and under-appreciated mommy mode into the hot, sexy, loving partner mode. But if you can get past this initial hesitation, your desire will follow. It only takes a little bit of caressing or kissing, maybe a touch here or there to get both of you started. Once you are in the mood, the thought of sleep will be gone. The more sex you have, the more testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin you release.


You can try this 10-minute rule. If you are not in the mood or feel too tired for sex, give yourself 10 minutes. According to research, half of the population feels amorous or horny and wants to initiate sex, while the other half is not interested in sex until after they start kissing and fooling around. Therefore give it a try when you feel tired next time. So, try kissing and fooling around for 10 minutes and see if you can get more aroused or interested.


(4)   Be a supportive partner


You have got to do something to help pick up some of your wife’s daily responsibilities. This will give her a little bit more energy left for her to feel horny and think of some sexy stuff to pleasure and please you. This should incentivize you to be a caring and supportive partner. While one spouse cleans up after dinner, let the more tired one takes a bath, relax or read a magazine or newspaper. If you can allow your partner the time for her to release stress, this will avoid sex from becoming like one more chores to her at the end of the day.


You can make things easier with better time management at home. Pick a time that both of you will be finished working so you do not just go straight to bed. Turn off the TV or computer at an agreed upon time. If you continue to let your career or housework to take precedence over your sex life, you are more likely or probably too exhausted for sex. If you can only have sex at the end of the night, you may end up choosing sleep over sex on a regular basis.


(5)   Self-seduction


Most women need to be stimulated mentally and/or physically before they actually feel turned on. As a woman, you can single-handedly transform your libido by trying self-seduction.


Throughout the day, you can conjure up past sexual experiences that really got you work up enough to get you into the sexy mindset. Feeling relaxed is also equally important. After you reach home, unwind with a glass of wine or do something else that will give you a mental break from the stressful things that may be affecting your sex drive.


It can be of great help to read a super sexy novel and you can add in self-stimulation if you want to. From this moment onwards, you make sex a top priority. Do not wait until the laundry is done to get down to business or until you collapse into bed, because by then your only desire will be to sleep.


Are you really too tired or honestly has sex becomes a little boring or too predictable? Maybe you would be less tired if sex was more fun, novel and engaging. Want to try something new and spice it up? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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How To Overcome Boredom In Sex




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When you have been in a relationship for a while, one of the most significant challenges is to keep the flames of passion burning. Do you feel that you are simply going through the motions and the only reason both of you actually are intimate is because you think you are supposed to keep sex active? When lovemaking becomes part of a relationship, it can run the risk of becoming routine.


Here are 5 active ways you can avoid sexual boredom and give your sex life some kick.


(1)   Share sexual expectations


The best way to avoid sexual boredom is by talking sex with your partner. Asking your partner how often he or she would like to be intimate. When he or she wants to have sex, does he/she prefer morning sex or making love at the end of the day? Next, share your expectations. After being so long together without discussing this important topic, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you think.


If there are big differences in these expectations, work on finding a common ground in ways that will not violate your personal boundaries. Talking about sex may offer great opportunities for both of you to look into trying sexual things you are sure your partner has never thought before.


(2)   Be realistic about what you want


We need to understand that our individual sexuality does not stay the same all the time. It is not realistic to expect that both of you will always be in the mood as often as you were when you first got together. The simple fact is the sexual aspect of a relationship will go through exciting times and mellower times. Our individual sexual needs can and do change as we mature and we need to deal with our sexual and emotional baggage as we become exposed to new knowledge about sex.


You also have to be aware that hormonal differences between men and women can cause a mismatched sex drive. This means that you and your partner must remain flexible, patient, be understanding and to demonstrate a willingness to compromise to keep the other sexually fulfilled. If you are expecting things to be earth-shattering and passionate in every sexual encounter, then you are setting yourself up for constant disappointment.


(3)   Have sex often, both spontaneous and planned


A common misunderstanding about sex is we need to have the desire and the mood first before we ‘do it’.  You do not exactly feel like getting it on tonight, tomorrow night or the next day and you keep pushing it further down the road. The problem is if we remain in this way and wait for the mood and desire to come, some of us would never have sex again. This is not to say that you have to become your partner’s sex slave and you can never say no to sex.


It is that love is about compromise, communication, mutual respect and putting the needs of another before your own, which are critical to having a sex life that both of you can be comfortable with and enjoy. It is therefore sometimes important just to bite the bullet and have sex even if you are not in the mood. Once you start, desire and arousal often follow. Research also confirms that the more a couple connects sexually, the more sex they want to experience with one another.


(4)   Try something different sexually


This may involve changing the place when having sex. If you know how to slowdown and speed up as well as when to do so, then you can easily make her orgasm fast. You can start with slow penetration, then easing your way in. Then as her breathing gets heavier and rapid, you begin to pick up speed, eventually penetrating her deeply and more quickly. Next, you ask her what she wants you to do. Whatever she demands, go at that pace for a little while, but then change the pace again. It is up to you to determine what pace or tempo she prefers and to constantly surprise her with varying rhythm and speed. If you are a woman, you can ask your man to try this out.


Many couples start their foreplay the same way – both of you lie in bed, you go down on him/her, he/she goes down on you and then you have sex. Make some changes to inject some new elements of surprise to the sex play. Foreplay can involve anything from dirty talking to dancing. You can give each other back or feet massage or a full body erotic massage, or having a sensual bath together. You can also introduce role play into foreplay by trying to be someone or something else for the evening.


You can also consider having sex in different locations. This may involve having sex in the shower, in a safe outdoor environment like the backyard or garage or doing it in a different room of the house or in a hotel. To enrich the experience, you can add in some dim lighting and music to seduce his/her senses.


While music, lighting and different locations can add a different spin to sex, switching up sexual positions and using sex toys or watching an erotic movie together can also help her to achieve orgasm. The list here is by no means exhaustive. Both of you should be free to allow your imaginations to run wild. Creativity and spontaneity are your allies when it comes to sex, so use them wisely.


(5)   Strengthen your intimacy capacity


This can be done by maintaining a regular date-night during which you can take the effort to dress and impress, going out for some fine dining and mixing this up with some fun let-your-hair-down activities like going for a concert or to the amusement park.


You can practice regular sexual affirmation by telling one another when he/she did the right things to excite and pleasure you in bed. At all times, brush up your communication skill is of utmost importance to allow you to air any unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the relationship. Keeping your relationship free of clutter is critical to preserving intimacy and passion.


All it takes is some effort from both of you to keep it steamy as the years go by. These 5 tips here should help you to have better sex. Want more tips on how to break out of your stale sex routine? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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What Can You Do If She Is Afraid of Your Big Penis



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You are one of those guys who are blessed with an above average size sexual organ. You feel flattered when other guys are awed by it when they inadvertently catch a glimpse of your well endowed male organ. You believe most women will think and feel the same way and they will prefer a bigger size penis.


In reality, this is not entirely true. For many women a larger penis is actually less pleasurable and can even bring them pain during sexual intercourse. This is bound to lead to stress for her and you may feel guilty over the hurt that you have caused her. However, there are still some appropriate sexual positions you can adopt to make female enjoyment possible. Here are some big penis positions you can try on tonight.


(1)   Shallow Penetration


The area around the vaginal entrance is usually much more sexually sensitive than elsewhere because her clitoris is just located nearby. Due to this reason, shallow penetration is a win-win position for both you and your partner. Shallow penetration positions offer higher chances of rubbing the clitoris and also reduce the likelihood of painful sexual intercourse. The positions you can try for shallow penetration are Butterfly and Spoon.


(a)    To get into the Butterfly position, your girl will lay on just about any edge big enough with the feet on the floor and you stand or kneel between her legs to enter her. A pillow each under your knees and her buttocks will be useful and comfortable to help in the proper alignment of each other’s genitals. To intensify the pleasure, added manual stimulation can be performed on the receiving partner by either you or her without much difficulty.


Butterfly Position



(b)   To get into the Spoon position, she will lie on her side with you lifting one of her legs and you enter from behind. Penetration through this position is good for g-spot stimulation and of course ideally suitable for morning sex.


Spooning Position


(2)   Standing/Kneeling Penetration


Standing positions, especially those face to face ones are best suitable for guys with above average seize sexual organ. These positions also avoid the possibility of the guy’s genitals slipping out and offer higher chances of stimulating the g-spot. 4 standing positions you can try are the Down Stroke, Chapel, Dancer and Wheel Barrow.


(a)    To get into the Down Stroke position, she will lie on her back with her legs resting on your shoulders and you will enter her from a standing position.


Down Stroke Position


(b)   The Chapel Position is relatively easy for your girl. She will lie on the edge of the bed with her legs spreading wide. You will grab  her legs while you penetrate her in a kneeling position.


Chapel Position


(c)    In the Dancer position, you will stand facing each other and your girl will lift up one of her legs. You will support her the raised leg and enter her this way.


Dancer Position


(d)   As for the Wheel Barrow position, your girl will be in doggie position with her hands resting on a chair and you will pick her up by the waist. From here, you will enter her in a standing position.


Wheel Barrow Position


For all the above sexual positions, it will be helpful to apply some water-based lubricants to help ease the entry. If you are unsure how deep you should go, start shallow and make sure you encourage her to let you know how it feels, by using words such as ‘deeper’ or ‘harder’ when she is ready for more. This will be better than asking you to back off and pull out because she cannot take it anymore and is feeling sore.


Do keep the above tips in mind. You should find that highly pleasurable and satisfying penetrative sexual intercourse can be achievable by you and her despite your penis size. For more tips to have a good sex life, you can click on  Hot Sex and Great Lover


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