What If Your Partner Wants More Or Less Sex Than You

 

 

 

Click On Here To Find Out How You Can Bring The Passion Back Into The Bedroom

 

The number one sexual problem facing most couples is low or no sex or discrepancies in sexual desire between spouses. Studies have found that one in three women and one in seven men report low sexual desire.

 

When one spouse pushes for sex while the other tries to avoid it at all cost, conflict, frustration and boredom will often happen in the relationship. Often with inhibited desire of one spouse, the other spouse becomes pushy and resentful, which leads to lack of affection and closeness. The longer the couple avoids sexual contact it becomes harder to break the cycle. The longer they hold back from sexual contact, the more they tend to blame each other.

 

Low sexual desire can have a lot of causes. These may include childhood sexual abuse, guilt regarding previous sexual activities or partners, performance anxiety, lack of genuine feelings for one’s spouse, shame about a sexual fetish or lack of physical attraction.

 

Having said so, the occasional lack of desire is normal. In extreme times of conflict, when there is death, financial or work issues, it is normal not to feel sexual. Sometimes partners do not feel the same sexual desire. One may just want a kiss but the other may want an orgasm. It becomes a problem when it is chronic and when conflict over sex happens very often.

 

Maintaining sexual desire, attraction and trust is an ongoing process that takes effort and initiative for both individuals. When a couple’s sexual expression begins to lag and lack excitement, the key to rebuilding marital sexual desire is to enjoy non-demanding pleasuring, increasing intimacy and having fun together. Both members must be committed to revitalizing the sexual energy.

 

What Are The Important Components For Maintaining Sexual Desire?

 

(1)   Jointly solving the problem as a couple

 

Regardless of what originally caused the problem, it is easier to break the cycle if you are able to talk about the sexual difficulty as a couple issues. Viewing a lack of sexual desire as a couple problem reduces guilt, defensiveness and blaming.

 

(2)    Anticipate and plan for sexual encounter

 

Once in while (every few months) think of something nice you can do for your partner. Spoiling your spouse is definitely a win-win proposition for a relationship. Best is when you can tease your partner about what you plan to do and keep this in his/her mind for days before it happens.

 

(3)   Recognize that sex is more than just intercourse and orgasm

 

Spend time kissing, holding hands, touching and being together in intimate ways. This can include showering or bathing together, romantic or erotic dancing, playing games like strip poker. The key to healthy marital sexuality is to find a mutually comfortable level of intimacy while allowing space and freedom to experience sexual desire and eroticism.

 

(4)   Be open to sexual experimentation

 

Too many couples walk into the bedroom without a plan and have the same old boring sex. Variety is the sexy spice of life and will do a lot to enhance your sexual desire. It is only fair you take turns initiating new ideas. To help your partner plan out a fun sex evening, let him/her knows what you will like to do. Both of you can fill out a ‘sex wish list’ and exchange this with each other. This will get you all juiced up.

 

(5)   Maintain a regular rhythm of affection and sexual contact

 

Try to be intimate in some form on a regular basis. The longer couples avoid sexual contact, the harder it is to break the cycle. Maintain sexual contact during difficult times even if initially you are not in the mood. The intimacy at these times will bring you closer and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

 

Creating positive sexual desire does not have to be complicated, although it may take a little time and effort. Here are a few ideas to get you going. But for a full, sizzling collection of many more fun ideas, read on more from Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

Enhanced by Zemanta

How To Turn Her On Again When Sex Frequency Is Declining

 

 

 

Find Out More From Here Easy Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

 

Has it ever happened to you that when you snuggle up to her, she will say – I do not want to have sex tonight, dear; I have a headache? Do you at times have to do a lot of coaxing and persuasion in order to nudge her into sex?

 

Are you faced with any of the following symptoms –

 

(a)    1-2 times per month

(b)   Sex becomes a chore

(c)    Do not feel intimate after sex

(d)   You do not have any sexual fantasies about your partner

(e)    It seems only one of you are more keen on sex

(f)    There is no sense of adventure or spontaneity in sex

(g)   Neither of you are frisky in the bedroom any more

 

If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you are probably facing the situation of a low-sex marriage.

 

In whatever category you and your partner find yourself belong to, chances are you may still have experienced your share of sexual rejection in your relationship. You may have had to endure a period of ‘drought’ when your partner is not in the mood for sex. While some couples do not see this no-sex or low-sex situation as an issue, it can be a cause for concern to others. This is especially so when one party is never in the mood and the other is always quite keen.

 

If you have this problem of no-sex or not enough sex in your relationship, here are the 6 tips that will help you to improve sexual intimacy

 

(1)   Share sexual expectations

 

It is necessary that partners discuss with one another their sexual needs and wants particularly in relation to the regularity or frequency aspects. Ask your partner how often and when he or she would like to be intimate. Does he/she prefer making love in the morning or at the end of the day?

 

Through this exchange of views, both of you may be closer to a common set of expectations than you may think. If there are big differences in these expectations, jointly come up with a plan that can take into consideration each other’s needs and giving some room for compromise.

 

(2)   Recognize each other’s differences in sexual desire

 

It is very unlikely that your appetite, the amount of sleep you require, how sociable you are and other aspects of your personality will always be perfectly matched with your partner’s. Therefore it is nothing weird or abnormal if you want more or less sex than your partner. A couple must learn not to make this issue a deal-breaker.  By seeing this as a very normal sexual issue, you can negotiate your sexual needs and talk about your sex lives in an honest and respectful way. It will then be possible to reclaim the intimacy and closeness you are both missing.

 

(3)   Be respectful to the low sexual desire partner

 

If you are the one with a higher sex drive level, you have to accept that you may get less sex than you would ideally like. You have to learn not to over-react to a ‘no’ to sex and accept it respectfully. Avoid sexual bullying, begging or manipulating. This is indeed a very tough act to follow and it helps a lot when the low-desire partner can at the same time be more understanding of the high-desire partner’s needs.

 

(4)   Get to the root of the problem

 

Remember that you cannot have good sex in a bad relationship. Probe deeper to see if there are any underlying resentment or anger from/towards your partner that act as an obstacle to greater intimacy. Hormonal fluctuations, medication, past sexual trauma, painful sex or undiagnosed illness can all have an impact on our sexual desire. Face up to all these issues and look for ways to resolve them. Seek professional help if you are unable to change things on your own.

 

(5)   Strive for greater intimacy

 

Intimacy in a relationship is not automatic. It must be developed and nurtured through cultivating an environment characterized by mutual trust and respect, deep communication and time-together. You cannot be intimate if you do not talk and spend time with each other. Making your spouse’s needs a priority is an excellent way of breaking down the barriers to a great sex life.

 

(6)   Sometimes have sex even if the mood is not there

 

If we just wait for the mood to come to have sex, some of us would never have it. This seems contradictory to what I said about learning to accept ‘no’ to sex. But marriage is all about mutual love and respect and compromise which involves at times giving way to his/her needs. Once you start the ball rolling and just do it, desire and arousal often follow.

 

Do you know what you are doing in bed can both turn on and turn off your partner? Want to polish you sexual skills? Click on Hot Sex and Have More Sex

Enhanced by Zemanta