The Most Common Sexual Issues That Matters To A Lot Of Women

Some societies treat sex as a taboo topic. Such attitude tends to inhibit any open discussion on sexual matters. This can be so stifling that it prevents women from having enough knowledge to improve their sex lives. So, what are the things that most women are keen to know about regarding sexual matters? Read on!

 

(1)   Anything wrong with me?

 

“I am not able to have an orgasm during sex, is that normal?” “I squirt during one of my masturbating sessions, it feels like urinating but I enjoy the feeling, am I weird?” Sex is something that is very personal. Therefore each person will definitely respond in his/her unique way to any particular act of sexual stimulation. As long as your sex life does no harm to anyone and you are not doing anything to put yourself in danger, there is no reason to be concerned about any of your sexual desires, fantasies and responses.

 

If you are not able to have orgasm during sexual intercourse, it has nothing to do with whether you are normal or abnormal. It is more to do with the lack of communication with your spouse about your sexual needs. The first step towards a fulfilling and satisfying sex life is not to be too harsh on yourself and to accept yourself as a normal person with the right to an uninhibited sexual self.

 

(2)   What is the normal frequency of sex?

 

The concern here is you are probably less interested in sex than others. Research has shown that most long-married couples have sex once or twice a week, if either of them does not have any illness, is pregnant or is bothered by other matters that affect the mood for lovemaking. For newly married couples, sex happens more often but tends to decrease in frequency over time.

 

(3)   How to let my husband know what I want in bed?

 

You should not expect your husband to be able to second guess and read your mind all the time. Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life. You have to speak out and be clear about what you want. The way to do is to package your request in the form of compliment. This will avoid the request becoming like a complaint which can lead to defensive behavior. For example, you can say, “It really turns me on when you touch me there,” or “I love it when you take your time on foreplay.” You can also give him some non-verbal guidance by way of positive feedback such as moaning or moving certain part of your body closer to him when he makes the right move. You can also put across by what you want in a playful manner by way of dirty talking.

 

(4)   Why I lose interest in sex?

 

Loss of libido is a common problem affecting one-third of women. Fluctuating hormone levels due to pre-menopause syndrome, stress from work and household responsibilities, medications (certain contraceptives are linked to low sex drive), etc, are possible causes of your decrease in sexual desire.

 

Check to see if any of these causes are relevant to your situation. If medication is the cause, discuss with your doctor to prescribe alternative drugs. If juggling between household and work duties is too overwhelming, you need to discuss with your spouse about sharing some household responsibilities or getting outside help. At the same time, look for ways to improve intimacy with your spouse and reconnect you with your inner vixen. There are non sexual ways to be intimate such as cuddling, talking, holding hands, watching a movie together or just having a dinner alone. You can try masturbation to uncover certain hidden aspects of your sexuality which can help to reverse the loss of libido.

(5)   How to get over it if my husband/I cheated?

 

To save your marriage, the partner who cheated must make an effort to sever all links with the 3rd party. The unfaithful spouse needs to be honest to own up to his/her mistakes. Make an appointment to visit a family counselor for some therapy sessions to help you find ways to rebuild the relationship. The injured party should be given an outlet for him/her to vent, cry or let go off the hurt feelings for about 10 minutes a day. This will gradually ease the pain after a period of time.

 

(6)   How do I let my spouse know about my fantasies?

 

Indulging in fantasies and sharing them with your partner can lead to hotter lovemaking and greater intimacy. One way to begin is to create a “fantasy box” to list down you and your partner’s sexual fantasy. When things get dull in the bedroom, these fantasy ideas can be put into action. Another way is to share verbally what you want with your partner. Many times, simply talking about what you want can turn you both on so much that there is no hesitation when it comes to acting on it.

 

(7)   How can we find the time for making love?

 

It may seem unromantic to say you need to schedule time for sex. But with life getting busier due to increase responsibilities from workplace and home, sex can gradually be pushed into low priority if there is no attempt to allot time for it. Learn how to say no to some requests for your time. Re-prioritize your activities to free up some time for lovemaking. Make your relationship and your sex life a priority.

 

(8)   How do we spice things up if we are stuck in a sexual rut?

 

To keep sex life exciting and fun, you can inject some novelty by making small changes in routine. Try having sex at different places (at home or outside home such as the back seat of your car or a motel room near your place) and different time of the day. During the lovemaking session, you can incorporate role-playing, oral sex and/or try new sex positions. Try giving each other hot oil massage, using feathers to tickle each other, having sensual bath together, arousing each other in ways other than traditional intercourse.

 

Try to set the mood in advance with proper lighting, proper music, proper food, and proper settings. Make sure that the setting suits your partner’s tastes. You can create the romantic mood at any places in your house such as the living room, kitchen or anywhere you can imagine. Rent romantic or sexy movies. Visual stimulation always works because erotica helps you to get in touch with your deepest, darkest and most sensual fantasies. Visit an adult store for some couple sex toys. Sometimes props can be fun. Never be afraid to try something new.

 

Sometimes it is also a good idea to temporarily abstain from sex. At times, sex may hold a lot of anxieties for certain couples, which can inhibit true intimacy. This can be avoided by simply replacing sex with the relaxing pleasures of cuddling, kissing, massage, or to pursue other activities you enjoy.

 

There are many books that can give you some ideas to help you achieve a fulfilling and satisfying sex life. If you have never thought of buying a self-help book about sex, why not do it now? You may do so by clicking on Sexy Games and Naughty Flirting.

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How To Cope If Either One Of You Want More Sex

Find Out More From Here If You Have Sexual Incompatibility Issues

It is pretty normal for every couple to face with this situation in which one of them has a higher sex drive. The one with the higher sex drive may not necessarily be the guy. What can cause the differences in sex drive? How to cope with this discrepancy in sexual desire? Read on!

 

What can cause the difference in sex drive?

 

(1)   Relationship problems

 

This happens as a result of differences on matters such as who should contribute more for household expenses and who should pay for which item, child rearing and relationship with in-laws. When couples cannot resolve conflicts over these matters, one of them will bear a grudge against the other one. This bottled up anger can cause the aggrieved side to lose sexual interest on his/her partner. This can also lead to him/her using the withholding of sex as a weapon to punish his/her partner.

 

(2)   Insufficient knowledge about sex

 

If one or both of you are raised in societies where there is no sex education or where sex is a taboo and being looked negatively as something dirty or immoral, this can prevent you from looking for ways to enrich and spice up your sex life. You or your spouse may think that sex is just meant only for procreation and cannot see any relationship between sex and pleasure.

 

(3)   Psychological issues

 

Stress over work or child rearing, performance anxiety, lack of sexual confidence, past histories of sexual abuse, physical or mental ailments, drug abuse, medication (drugs such as those for hypertension can hurt sexual desire) can leave either one of you to lose interest in sex.

 

(4)   Differences in the way you and your spouse look at sex

 

You and your partner may have different baseline sex drives and/or may prioritize sex differently. This may not be any serious relationship problems, only mere differences in the way how each side thinks about sex.

 

(5)   Not enough passion

 

Absence makes the heart grows fonder. Not enough space for each other, with both sides sticking to each other like a piece of chewing gum can be stifling and hurt passion in the long run. The pressures and expectations we put on our intimate relationships may kill the passion in lovemaking.

 

How to cope with discrepancies in sexual desire?

 

(1)   Avoiding blaming your partner

 

It is always very easy to blame others when problems crop up. This can only cause the other side to get defensive and discourage your spouse from working together with you to come up with solutions. Even if you feel most of the problems lie with your partner, it is better to find out what the causes are or how they arise.

 

 

(2)   Talking to your partner

 

When relationship problems crop up, it is best to find the space and time to talk to your partner. If you do not talk to your partner, you will not be able to discover the roots of the problems and he/she may not be aware of the existence of problems or your concerns.   Before you talk to your spouse, make sure you think before you talk, avoid putting the blame on him/her, begin your statements with “I” such as, “I think…..” or “I am concern about ……..” and always remember to listen. However if the situation deteriorates to the point where both of you cannot talk to each other without ending up in arguments, you will have to find a counselor or therapist.

 

(3)   Working towards a compromise

 

It is very unrealistic to expect everything to go according to the ways you want. A relationship is a series of constant adjusting to each other and involving lots of give and take. Finding sexual compromise is much easier when you lay down all your sexual options on the table for both sides to review over them in the process of working through the differences in sexual desire.

 

(4)   Looking for self-help resources

 

There are many books you can find in book shops, libraries or online that touch on issues like sex drive discrepancies in long term relationship. You can find them here by clicking on how to have more sex for Him or Her.

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The Things That Can Always Bring A Woman To Orgasm

Click Here To Discover The Secrets Of Great Orgasms

How to please a woman? This has always been the top question in most men’s mind. Here I am going to share with you the ways that can turn a woman on that can help you to get more dates or to improve the intimacy with your wife.

 

(1)   Dare to try new things

 

Boredom and predictability can be a passion killer. People can change. The things that can arouse her in bed 4 to 5 years ago may not necessarily have the same orgasmic effect on her now. Of course, you can go and buy an online sex guide to read about the lovemaking techniques. However, before you use those of your newly acquired knowledge on her, you still need to communicate with her, get her feedback, and read her body signals to see what works and what does not work. You “tailor-made” your techniques to her sexual needs. You set up simple codes she can use during lovemaking: “up” or “down” for which erotic spot to put your hand on. Or, when you are stimulating her, you ask her, “How does this feel, one to 10”? , and you adjust your pressure on her erogenous zone accordingly.

 

(2)   You inject fantasy into lovemaking

 

Indulging in fantasies can lead to hotter lovemaking and greater intimacy. To get a woman to reach orgasm, she needs to clear her mind off any hidden fears. Fantasy is a good way for her to distract her from any thoughts that may kill sex drives. So, how do you bring fantasies to your lovemaking? One way you can try is to read her or watch with her an erotic story before things heat up. Erotica can help her to get in touch with her deepest, darkest and most sensual fantasies. Another way is to whisper provocative sentences to each other in turn; building a fantasy tale she can get lost in.

 

(3)   You allow her to set the pace and tone in the bedroom

 

A man is expected to take the lead in sex. The problem is sometimes when a guy gets too engrossed in what he is doing that he may neglect her sexual needs. You let her control the pace and intensity of lovemaking (either from the start or for the whole of the bedroom session, depending on the mood), so that you can both know what is best to turn her on. The more aroused she is the better for you. Encourage her to be on top because this sex position can allow her to take advantage of a full range of positions such as facing you, facing away or even sitting cross-legged on you.

 

(4)   Going beyond the commonly known erotic spots

 

Most of us already know that if we stimulate any one of the following erotic spots – her clitoris, G-spot and urethra, this can get a woman to orgasm easily. A sex expert, Quilliam, suggests going beyond these erogenous zones to tease what some call the U-spot which is an area between her clitoris and vagina, located near the entrance to her urethra. You stimulate this area using your finger in soft, circular motions. Urethral nerves are highly sensitive therefore pleasuring this region can send her into a soft, melting form of climax. Of course, before you do this to her, make sure your hands are clean because this area is infection-prone.

 

(5)   You slow down to give her chance to go into the stage of orgasm

 

When she is almost quite close to climax, you temporarily stop stimulating her sensitive areas. You then kiss her for a few minutes and move on to her other less sensitive areas of her body. After a while, you go back to stimulate her orgasm-triggering spot again. You can repeat this “switch on” and “switch off” motion for a few times before you make the “final assault” to send her into the point of no return orgasm stage. This start-and-stop action can increase the intensity of her orgasm.

 

So, these are the 5 easy ways to give a woman an orgasm. Practice makes perfect. Therefore keep on doing this to “wake up” the untamed sexual instinct that is lurking in her subconscious. If you are keen to be the one and only one man in her world that can rejuvenate or raise her sexual desire, you can click on to Hot Sex and Turn Her On.

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