How Do I Get Confidence In Sex





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When the time comes to having sex, instead of getting aroused, you are completely overwhelmed with anxiety. Even worse is the girl is into you and wanted sex and instead of making her feel comfortable and sexy, you end up being ‘stuck’ in your head with racing thoughts, heart pounding and having a full-blown panic attack. You feel paralyzed in your attempt to make a ‘move’ on her.  This makes you feel down since you do not meet her expectations.


Does this sound familiar to you? If it hasn’t happened to you as yet, you are probably aware of a friend or acquaintance that experienced it. There is enough evidence to show that performance anxiety happens to most people, whether they are men or women. But it is definitely the men that suffer the horror of not being able to satisfy their partners sexually either due to not being able to have an erection or feeling that their penis size is not big enough to give women orgasms.


So, how do you cope if your main worry is about size? Here are the ways you can make her orgasm easier and more often, even if you are below the average size of 6 inches.


(1)   Focus on pleasuring her


As guys, we like to assume that a bigger penis will be able to reach more hot spots inside her and this is why women prefer a huge one. In reality, size does not matter a great deal as long as you know what you are doing. Being well endowed do not automatically make you a great lover if you do not know how to please a girl. The most sensitive nerves are on the outer part of the vagina and if you can learn sexual skills to dominate her, these will turn her on many times more than the largest penis could.


What you lack in size, you can make up for it by learning how to turn a girl on with masculine dominance. This will include things like –


(a)   Talking dirty to her


Girls love to hear their partner’s fantasies. It will turn her on to watch you get aroused by what you are describing. A great way to sound sexy and dirty is to describe out loud what is happening during sex, how wonderful it feels in your body; telling her something you are going to do and something you want your lover to do right now. Maintain eye contact as you talk because this can give her extra pleasure. Dirty talk is not just words and phrases, but also about how you say it, which is to use your voice and sounds such as moans, groans, sighs, whispers and screaming. You can sound commanding and harsh, submissive and uncertain and everywhere in between.


(b)   Taking the lead


You have to know what you are supposed to do, be confident in what you are doing, without asking for her permission. Confidence comes from knowledge which can be acquired in 2 ways. One way is to read widely about sexuality. Another way is to pay attention to your girl to know enough about what she likes and dislikes sexually. Once you are able to know how to please her, you can apply what you have learned wisely by making modifications and adjustments so that you customize or tailor-made your moves to meet her unique needs. During foreplay, you can do a few things to ‘man-handle’ her such as spanking her or lightly biting her neck.


(2)   Choose sex positions that can give her g-spot orgasm


Here are the 2 positions that can easily make a girl orgasm


(a)   Enter her from behind


You can penetrate her from behind when she is lying on her side or standing in front of you.


(b)   Enter her by standing or kneeling between her legs


She will lay on just about any edge big enough with her feet plant on the floor and you penetrate her either by standing or kneeling between her legs. For comfort, you can put pillow under your knees if you choose the kneeling position.


Use these 2 tips to overcome your performance anxiety. It may take a little bit of time and effort to purge out those negative thoughts you have accumulated in the past. But once you start the ball rolling, it will pick up speed and you will notice improvement in your partner’s pleasure as well as your own.


For more ways to have better sex, you can read on further from Hot Sex . To get yourself better equipped for sex, you can visit Dirty Harry’s Secrets

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For Men – Sex Positions To Make A Girl Feel Big And Tight During Penetration





Anxiety is part of our life. For men, anxiety about performance in bed is the next biggest concern they have besides work-related activities. Modern messages about sex seem to demand that men must get it right for the first time or they will be judged as a lousy lover.


You want to make it special for her and want her to feel the ultimate in satisfaction. However, out of the blue, all kind of paranoid thoughts flood your mind. What if she thinks I am too small? What if I cannot last long enough? What if I cannot make her orgasm?


To tell you not to worry is easier said than done. So, let’s take a look at these worries and see how you can deal with them.


(1)   I am told that size does not matter. But I am sure it does.


You heard it right. Size does not matter a great deal as long as you know what you are doing. Whether it is the length or the girth, many men still assume women prefer a larger penis. In fact, this is rarely the truth.


Being well-endowed will not make you a great lover if you do not know how to please your partner. The most sensitive nerves are on the outer part of the vagina around the clitoral region. This means you can still pleasure your woman even if you are small. What you lack in size, you can compensate for this with your skill.


How to do it? Well, you pay attention to stimulate the clitoris and the surrounding area using your fingers, tongue and choosing those sex positions which can both make you feel big as well as increase the chances and time for you to rub against her clitoris.


You can choose doggie (enter from behind). If you choose the normal man-on-top position, you can slip a pillow or a love cushion under her pelvis and rest her legs on your chest or shoulders to create an angle of entry that allow your penis to hit on her g-spot directly.


Another way you can try is you still slip a pillow or a love cushion under her hips, spread her thighs and draw her legs up until her knees are close to the chest. As you thrust, you squeeze her thighs together to give you this tight feeling.


If your woman likes to be on top, get her to move back and forth or in circles, rather than moving up and down. This can prevent the penis from slipping out and can enhance her sensation as her clitoral area rubs against your pelvis.


Besides playing with the different angles of penetration, you can arouse your woman by simultaneously stimulate her clitoris either manually or with a vibrator or she can do it herself.


(2)   What if I cannot last long or cannot get it up?


Climaxing too early or premature ejaculation is probably the biggest male bedroom worry of all. This can make men feel embarrassed and inadequate. However, it is worth remembering that women rarely orgasm through penetrative sex. Penetration is usually less important to your partner than other kinds of stimulation.


What you should do is not to get your mind fixated at penetration alone. Instead you aim for pleasant sexual activity by making sure she enjoys herself thoroughly. Talk to her about what makes her feel good and what you need to do to help her orgasm. If you focus on doing what she enjoys, you should never worry about not being able to satisfy her and your mind will be too busy to think about whether you can last longer. The main thing is as long as you can get her to reach orgasm before penetration she is not going to be too concerned about how long you can last inside her.


As for the problem of getting it up (if you do not have medical problems), this is probably due to performance anxiety. This can get into a vicious cycle. If it happens once and you feel embarrassed, worrying that it may happen again, which makes it all the more likely to happen.


You are not alone if this happens to you once in a while. According to a study, 52% of men suffer erection problems to some degree at some point during their lives. It will only be a major issue if it happens all the time, which is less likely in younger men. In this case, you should see a doctor.


How to cope? Do not drink too much alcohol and try to get plenty of sleep because tiredness can affect performance too. Fear of failure leads to failure. If you focus on the penis and how it behaves, this can only increase performance pressure. So, do not focus on it. If you sense there is a problem, take your time over other areas of sex, which means putting more effort to please her. Giving and getting pleasure from pleasing her will ease the performance pressure on you.


The first step to overcome bedroom anxiety is to recognize the reality that at some point in our loves, most of us do suffer some minor sexual malfunction temporarily. The key is to focus on pleasuring her. So, talk to her to explore some mutually agreeable experimentation in the bedroom. You can get help from Hot Sex  to get you started and if you need some extra help, click Hard Erection.

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How Do I Keep An Erection




Find Out More From Here On How To Improve Your Performance In Bed


You used to have high sex drive, having sex on average twice a day. But later on, you find it harder to maintain an erection for an extended period of time. Worse still, sometimes you would ejaculate really quickly. Why does this happen? Is if because of too much sex?


There are a number of reasons why this could be happening to you. So take a few steps back and look for what could be causing such intense anxiety. Ask yourself some questions. Are you under a lot of stress? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to keep up the twice-a-day sexual encounter that you used to have? Have you been indulging in more alcohol lately? Do you smoke cigarettes? Have you changed any medications? Has your diet changed?


It is normal for a person’s sex drive to behave like a sea tide experiencing some moments of peak and trough because all of us have hormones that have highs and lows that affect erection ability. When at times your sex drive may not be as strong but if you want to maintain an active sex life as happened in those early days of your relationship, you will be putting too much stress on yourself, setting yourself up for a big disappointment.


Take the pressure of yourself; remember it takes two to tango. Do not force yourself to have sex, but embrace intimacy and the quality of your connection. Take the time to appreciate your woman. She is yours for the taking and if you can simply focus all of your attention on her, your nervousness may slowly dissipate.


Lovemaking does not strictly require an erection. Alternative lovemaking strategies such as utilizing your fingers, lips and tongue can be very effective in bringing a partner to orgasm. She has all sorts of places of arousal starting at her ear lobes and working all the way down to the toes that you can target.


It is not the case that you must get your partner used to sex without erections. Performance anxiety does not need to be more than a temporary problem in any relationship if both of you approach this with patience and understanding.


Do not rush into having sex. If you are rushing because you fear that you will lose your erection, then you may experience premature ejaculation. When you feel you are about to ejaculate, try to slow your thrust movements and stay deeper inside her so that she may grip your penis base with her vaginal muscles. This should help with keeping your erection. At the same time breath slowly until you have your ejaculation response under control. Alternating slow and then faster thrust will be a great sexual give and take. Pay attention to your body as you learn now to control your ejaculation.


Communication is also very important in a relationship. Have you shared your concerns with your partner? Reassure your partner and explain that your trouble in bed is due to anxiety, not loss of interest. Talking to your partner can also let you find out about other sexual activities you can do in bed. This should take some of the stress off of sex and let you have more fun.


You can also try a new tactic to turn yourself on. Do you enjoy watching your partner pleasuring herself? Do you always make sure that she is sexually satisfied before intercourse? Watching her come may help you get hard.


If you have unhealthy lifestyle (smoking, alcoholism, junk food), then you are setting yourself up for affecting your sexual life negatively. Get on a balanced diet. Try to get at least 3 sessions of cardio vascular exercise in each week. A walk together at sunset will be romantic and healthy. Exercise can improve your self-image, making you feel great about the way you look so that you are less likely to get jittery before having sex.


Talk to your doctor about your problem to see if he/she can change prescriptions. Cut back on alcohol. If you smoke, quit the habit. Smoking is directly linked to erectile dysfunction in older men. If the problem still persists, you can consider psychological or sex therapy.


Take control. Break the cycle of worrying about performance anxiety and start enjoying a satisfying life again TODAY and DO IT NOW.


Take control. Break the cycle of worrying about performance anxiety and start enjoying a satisfying life again TODAY and DO IT NOW. Want to find out more? Click on Get Harder Erection and Stronger And Longer Lasting

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You Want More Sex Than What You Have With Him Now, What Can You Do?





Your husband feels that having sex once a week is enough. But you want more. It is very normal for couples to have different levels of sex drive. This in itself is not a problem. The big problem is how to deal with the situation in ways that can meet both people’s needs.


Possible reasons for his low sexual desire could be biological, medications (such as anti-depressants), heart diseases, performance anxiety, emotional (such as loss of job), fluctuation of sex-related hormone (testosterone) and relationship issues.


If a man is not interested in sex, it does not mean he must be suffering from sexual dysfunction which contributes to a drop in desire. Most of the time, the real reason men do not want to have sex are very similar to the reasons that women do not want to have sex. These could be due to underlying, unresolved relationship problems. One of the biggest complaints among men is that their wives are critical or nagging, which can hurt a guy’s sex drive. Many men (similar to women) really need to feel emotionally connected to their wives in order for them to want to be sexual.


When face with a husband who is less interested in sex, women normally think something must be wrong with them, they are not attractive or loveable, or this could be due to their physical appearance. Could this be the real reason? The answer is both yes or no.


Most of the time is no and could be his problem such as stress, tired and the reasons just stated. At other times, this can be a real issue. A lot of men complain that their wives do not eat well, do not exercise or do not pay attention to their appearance. Men are more visually oriented when it comes to arousal. If women really want their husbands to be more interested in them, they should pay more attention to how they are taking care of themselves physically.


Communication is most important in every relationship. Frustration builds up when a couple is not able to communicate about problems, desires, fears or a host of other regularly unspoken issues that impact their sexual experience and overall relationship. Communication allows difficult topics to be openly discussed. Tell each other what you like about your sex life, what acts are more fun and what turns both of you on.


When couples are able to convey their feelings to each other without intimidation, worry of reprisal, or embarrassment, they are able to relate to one another within a context of acceptance. This often requires learning better communication skills. It is also important for couples to learn how to forgive one another to keep the barriers to communication from preventing intimacy. Your husband will not be able to change significantly without openness, honesty and acceptance developing between both of you. Most important, he must need to know he will not be ‘punished’ for his honesty.


Intimacy also involves commitment and caring. Both of you are committed to the well-being and development of the other. Being caring means you are willing to provide your partner with the sexual experience that pleases him on his terms, in his way and in his time frame. You can ask him what you can do to get him turned on. Maybe you and he can be more open to trying role-playing, sex toys, different lubricants, enjoying erotic movies together, exploring different sexual positions, etc.


Figuring out how things can be done differently is not as difficult as one might think. Recalling your past usual repetitive behavior and to make it a point to do something different no matter how weird or crazy it may be can make it all the more easier. You may not be able to see and get fast results which mean you need to be patient when you try to make any changes.


You can also spice things up by being seductive. You whisper in his ear and tell him all the things you would like to do to him and how it will make you feel. At times, you can seduce your many by playing hard to get as well. Write him an erotic story about you and him. Write your fantasy down and invite him to make it a reality. Show him that you still care about him and that he turns you on. When he does something that does turn you on, tell him that this is what you have been craving. This will boost both is ego and libido a lot if he has performance anxiety problem.


If he is under a lot of stress, try to make him feel relaxed. Give him a neck rub or back massage or play some soothing music to calm him when he gets home.


If you have approached your husband without being demanding and controlling and he is still not willing to be open and honest with you, seeking professional marriage counseling is still a good option even if you end up going by yourself.


There is no one universal solution for boosting your husband’s sexual desire. What you can do is trying to create more love, connection, sexuality, sensuality and affection that will ultimately lead to a more healthy and balanced relationship.


So, do it! Do something today so you and your spouse can be more intimate! If you need some more ideas or ways to get started, you can click on Let’s Do It and Turn Him On

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How To Overcome The Loss Of Sexual Desire






Do you experience any of the followings in your relationship –


(a)    Touching takes place only in the bedroom

(b)   Sex does not give you feelings of connection and sharing

(c)    You no longer look forward to sex

(d)   Sex is mechanical and routine

(e)    You almost never have sexual thoughts or fantasies about your spouse

(f)    You have sex once or twice a month at most


If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you may be on your way to losing sexual desire. If you are not happy about your loss of libido, it is best to grapple with this before it becomes entrenched. Here are 8 tips to rekindle desire.


(1)   Improve your sex life with exercise


Running, walking, swimming or any physical activity you enjoy, with or without your partner. If you already walk or run or doing any workout, try challenging yourself just a bit further, so you feel a sense of accomplishment and vitality.


This physical confidence will carry over into sexual confidence. Both sex and exercise have been proven to help reduce stress, so doing both on a regular basis should help you stay relaxed and happy. Exercise also helps increase your sexual desire. Exercise, along with a healthy diet and adequate sleep can boost your libido.


(2)   Recognize that sex is not always perfect


It can do a lot of help to relieve performance anxiety if you keep a realistic expectation that not every sexual encounter has to be perfect. Probably only about 40% to 50% of sexual events can be mutually satisfying. If you can laugh off moments when things do not work out, your partner will be more likely to try new things the next time round, since it takes some pressure and guilt off her, too.


(3)   Try role-playing or indulge in sexual fantasy


If you want your partner to share in the joy, you may want to explore further what you come across from some of the newer erotic literature and films which can potentially offer a lot of ideas to act out your sexual fantasies. Both you and your partner can tell each other about his/her fantasies. If she says she does not have any, you can rephrase your question by asking her to name just one thing she has ever wishes a man would do to give her pleasure.


(4)   Schedule sex


It will of course be wonderful if sex is utterly spontaneous, no planning, just the heat of the moment. However, in reality, things do not always work this way. For anyone with jobs and family, there may not be enough time to wait for the desire to come. Instead, turn the setting aside, the time for physical intimacy into an opportunity to build anticipation.


You can develop these sensual rituals – get your partner a little gift, put on your favorite music and perfume, switch off your cell phones and get a temporary help to take care of the kids so that there will be no interruptions. Scheduling can actually make sex more exciting and eliminate conflict over desire differences.


(5)   Focus more on the process than the outcome


Focusing on her other erogenous zones not just on the genitals can ease performance pressure and increase pleasure. Explore each other’s body to discover the potential pleasure spots and spend more time on those areas that are hypersensitive to sexual stimulation. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Tease and touch and take your time.


(6)   Socialize as a couple


Desire feeds on newness. When you go out to a dinner party with other people, you get the chance to see your partner in a fresh light and the way she relates to others. Another good thing to do is to get some friends around on a regular basis, even if it is just for a takeaway or supper round the kitchen table. You will have a good laugh and if these friends have known you since the beginning of your relationship, this will remind you of the happier days and you will feel younger and more energetic.


(7)   Ask for professional help


Sex and marital specialists can be just as helpful when it comes to the loss of libido, so get over your resistance and call for professional help. Check with your doctor to see if there are any medical conditions that may be playing a part. If you are taking medication, such as an anti-depressant, that may be causing loss of libido, discuss alternatives with your doctor.


(8)   Talk about your needs


One of the best things you can do to improve sex life is to communicate well with your partner. If you are a bit embarrassed to talk, you can get one of those online self help guide on sex. Cozy up and read it together and let your partner know you are open to make things better between the both of you.


If you are looking for self-improvement sex ideas, you can click on Hot Sex and Overcome Low Libido

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