How To Make A Relationship Both Emotionally And Sexually Arousing





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As the relationship gets older, boredom, lack of adventurous, physical ailments and other problems can easily cause bedroom life to lose some spark. All relationships therefore need a little pick-me-up actions to reconnect with your partner. These actions will make your partner feel loved, appreciated and desired, and will, in turn, make you feel more connected to him/her. One must understand that great relationships do not just happen,one has to make it work.If you are experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here are 3 ways you can do to bring sexy back into the relationship.

(1) Keep fit

Research has shown that healthy people have better sex lives. People who are physically fit tend to enjoy sex more and have a lower chance of facing up to any sexual dysfunction that can hurt their love life. In order to increase libido, you need to keep fit. This is done through having a healthy lifestyle. You need to exercise regularly. This will help to improve your blood flow especially to the genitals when you have sex. It will be best if you can do this with your partner in order to keep you from stopping halfway due to boredom.


Besides exercise, you need to have a diet that is low in fats and sugar and high in fiber and good nutrition. A balanced diet consisting of lots of fruits, vegetables, plenty of whole grains and proteins (fish, poultry and lean meats). You need to have enough of sleep (about 7-8 hours everyday) to allow your body the chance to refresh and recuperate. You should avoid or try as much as you can to cut down on alcohol and tobacco because they can affect your sexual function and overall health.


(2) Maintain communication

Communication serves as the ‘glue’ for a relationship. Intimacy needs honesty and openness. It is important that you are always honest and open with your partner. To do so, you need to be able to share what is true and real about yourself and be ready to hear your partner’s thoughts. You can tell your partner about the changes in your body that get you worried along with other issues that bother you about your sex life. If both of you want to have a mutually satisfying sex life, it is important to let each other knows what makes you feel good. Your partner will not be able to satisfy you if he/she does not know what you want. If you are unhappy over certain issues and want your partner to make certain changes, avoid been too critical.

Instead you package your request in a more positive way so that he/she will not get too defensive to the extent that it disallows 2-way communication. When you and your partner are not able to see eye-to-eye on certain issues, strive for a ‘middle path’ where both of you can agree with. Ask each other,”What would make both of us happy?”. If you are unhappy about your sex life, leave your concerns, worries and more negative issues outside the bedroom. You should not spoil the mood by talking about these during lovemaking.


(3) Build up your desire

Everything starts from the brain. You need to think about sex in order to feel and act sexy. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.

If you do not feel intimate and relaxed, start by making small changes one at a time. You can begin by taking the time to hug each other when perhaps you normally wouldn’t. You can do this before you go to work and when you return home. Increased hugging and holding hands with your partner, even if it does not feel natural at first, can help to increase intimacy. Maintaining physical affection is important to keep a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss and hold hands, even if you are tired or not in the mood for sex. This can both bring you physically and emotionally close to each other, which is needed in order to please and arouse your partner.

You can educate yourself by reading some self-help books which give you tips on improving your sexual technique. You will then know there are actually many other sexual positions you can try on besides the normal missionary position.

The above tips should help you to heat up the bedroom temperature gradually. For more tips to improve love life, you can read from Hot Sex and Eternal Flame


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How To Get What I Want Out Of Sex





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Communication is of utmost important in a relationship. This is especially so if you want to have a sex life that is satisfactory to you and your partner. For some reasons, talking about sex can be a very sensitive subject between couples. This is especially so if what you want to say is that you want to try something new. It is even more difficult or stressful to talk about sex when the conversation is about a sexual complaint or problem. Here are a few things you need to take note when it comes to talking about sex with your partner.


(1)   When to have a talk


Choose a time when both of you can talk openly without being disturbed by phones or other people. This will also depend a lot on what you are talking about. If you want to bring up the topic of trying something new in bed, then discussing this matter just before you are about to have sex is probably not a good timing.


Also, you should never talk about sex right after you have made love. Doing this may lead to defensiveness, disappointment and hurt feelings between you and your partner. It is therefore very important to distance this topic far away from the act of love itself.


(2)   Where to have a talk


As with timing, location can make a difference. Preferably you should pick a place that has no distractions. Bringing up any dissatisfaction when you are in bed can only spoil the mood. Both you and your partner may feel more vulnerable than if this conversation is to take place in a more relaxed setting such as talking over a cup of coffee in the living room.


(3)   How to have a talk


Even though you are not happy or you feel your partner is at fault, it is best not to accuse or blame your partner for the problem. Doing so, will slam the door shut from further communication. If something is on your mind, avoid blurting it out. Instead you sit on it for a while and clarify what doesn’t feel right. It will be better if you can organize your thoughts and put them down on paper.


A good tip that you can use to ease into talking about sex is by sharing porn or erotic short stories as a way to bring up new ideas or desires and using the images or words as a “bouncing-off points to get into specifics”.


To avoid being sound accusing, use “I” statements such as “I feel that ……” instead of “You make me feel…….” You should also avoid talking down to your spouse and assuming he/she knows what you are thinking. Communication is not just talking as listening is equally important. Avoid interrupting when your partner is talking. Listen carefully throughout the discussion can help to keep the conversation calm and less emotionally charged.


It is also very important to ask questions to get your partner’s views and suggestions. This is especially good if you have a partner who is unwilling to have this conversation. If you want to bring up certain products or toys that you feel will help your relationship, assure your partner first by telling him/her that you love and care for him/her and then you present the product or toy as something that will enhance his/her pleasure and give both of you more options when making love.


An important thing not to neglect is to pay attention to your body language as well as your partner’s. Do you and your partner’s posture and facial expressions give the impression of being defensive or feeling uncomfortable? Attention to body language will help you to gauge how the conversation is going, so that you can make adjustments along the way if things are not going smoothly.


These are the general tips on how you should talk about sex with your partner. Every situation is different and your situation may call for additional considerations. The main thing here is talking openly about your sexual feelings, desires, likes and dislikes, can improve your sex life as well as other aspects of the relationship.


For more tips on sexuality matters, read on further at Hot Sex and Talk About Sex.

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How To Have Great Sex



Find Out More From Here The Secrets Of Great Sex

What constitutes great sex life? What makes a sexual encounter so great? Is it something to do with adrenaline, intense attraction, or sexual techniques? In the following paragraphs, I will share with you the facts I gather from people who have both satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences.


(1)   Emotional connection and empathy


What I mean here is making an effort to communicate and mentally link to others. I believe this is the most important in every type of human relationship. This is especially so with your loved ones. You need to learn how to truly and freely get your thoughts to the other person. Of course, this has to be a ‘2-way traffic’. Therefore, it is very important that you need to listen well and pay attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues.


When comes to your sex life, this means the ability to recognize (even without being told) what and when a particular kind of touch can elicit a certain response in your partner and what other kinds that do not work. Non-verbal communication is therefore a vital component of transcendent sex.


In order to successfully embody this element of sexuality, both you and your partner have to be emotionally mature enough to recognize each other’s needs and desires, so that both you can convey them to each other. This also requires your partner to have self-confidence, to accept himself/herself as what he/she is, so that both of you will be able to let go and allow each one to enter into each other’s ‘emotional world and space’.


(2)   Trust and vulnerability


The ability to let your defenses down and to bare certain hidden aspects of yourself to each other is a distinguishing factor between regular and amazing sex. Being willing to let go and to expose the vulnerable aspects of yourself to each other can foster greater interpersonal sexual bonding. This ability to surrender oneself sexually to your lover means there are no barriers in trying to satisfy each other in bed.


(3)   To be truthful to each other


When it comes to sexual matters, to be truthful means you can say anything and be anything. Authenticity in a sexual relationship involves you and your partner being entirely self-expressive, uninhibited and not self-conscious. The importance of letting go in relationships (which I mentioned in the 2nd point above) and to be completely genuine with your partner has an incredibly powerful effect emotionally and sexually. Letting your defenses down is considered by many happily married couples to be liberating and an important component of amazing sex.


(4)   To be focused in the present


The state of feeling ‘totally absorbed in the moment’, of being completely in tune with the sensations during lovemaking is an important characteristic of an ideal sexual experience. This tuning in will help you to know exactly what your partner wants you to make her orgasm. This paying attention builds sexual intimacy. Her feeling of you tuning in to her body will serve as a trigger for her to achieve mind-blowing orgasms.


(5)   Deep sexual and erotic intimacy


This intimacy between you and your partner has to be developed long before both of you actually has sex. There is a strong link between erotic intimacy and a sense of security in a relationship. This closeness to each other comes from deep mutual respect and trust, caring, genuine acceptance and admiration between lovers.


(6)   Discovering each other and getting fun out of it


You should treat each sexual encounter with your partner as a great opportunity to explore and discover each other. This process of taking risks and pushing each other’s sexual boundaries as you explore each other will help you and your partner to get this feeling of adventure and fun, which will result in a very enriching sensual experience.


As you can see, achieving great sex is more than just mastering sexual techniques. The mindset and the intent of the person or couple engaging in these acts are equally important. Too much emphasis on the physical mechanisms of sex will not be as fulfilling overall as the emotional and psychological benefits of staying focused in the present, to be comfortable with oneself, to let down your defenses and to explore each other’s erotic attributes that both you and your partner do not even know you ever have.


This understanding and realization is the first most important step on your journey to a great sex life. On the way to reaching this objective, if you want to know what are the things you can do or try to make this whole journey more enjoyable and smooth, you can click on Hot Sex and Great Lover.

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Relationship Improvement – 10 Effective Communication Tips

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Getting along with your partner or spouse is not just about sex. Communication plays a very important part in every relationship. Poor communication skills can be a source of anger and low libido for a relationship. On the other hand, effective communication serves as a springboard to a stronger relationship and better sex life. The next time, when any conflict occurs, keep these tips on effective communication skills in mind and you can get a more positive outcome and an improvement in sexual intimacy.


(1)   Focusing on the present


Sometimes you may be tempted to dig up certain past issues and lump them up to your current ones. However, doing so will only complicate matters and hinder both sides’ abilities to come up with solutions. Therefore, you should stay focused on the present, try to understand each other’s view points to facilitate the finding of solutions.


(2)   Paying attention


People often make this mistake of only wanting others to listen to them but are not interested in hearing what others are talking. Communication can only be effective if it happens in both directions. When you keep talking, you will tend to listen less. At certain point in time, it is better to stop talking and start listening in order to gain a better understanding of your partner’s views.


(3)   Trying to put yourself in his/her position


Often problems arise when we talk only from our point of view and spend a lot of time and effort in trying to get the other person to see things our way. This can only make the other person feel that you do not care about him or her. It facilitates the coming up of better solutions to your conflict if you can try to put yourself in his/her position to understand how he/she reaches his/her view points.


(4)   Empathizing his/her feelings


It is easy to feel hurt and get defensive when someone criticizes you. While criticism can often be unbearable, it is important to listen to the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for his/her feelings. Listen carefully to differentiate what is true in what he/she is saying can help you to discover the roots of the conflict.


(5)   Taking responsibility for your actions


Effective communication requires the courage to admit your mistakes when you are wrong. This can help to diffuse the tension and inspire the other person to respond in kind. This will lead you both to a solution as well as better understanding of each other.


(6)   Beginning with what you are going to say with “I”


Instead of saying things like, “You mess things up,” begin your statements like, “I feel ……..” This will make your tone less accusing and provoke less defensiveness. By changing the way you talk, you can help the other person understand your point of view without him/her feeling attacked.


(7)   Working towards a compromise


It is unrealistic in trying to get everything to work in your way. You have to “arrive at somewhere in the middle” to meet certain portions of each other’s needs. This approach is much more effective than you getting what you want at the expense of the other person. Healthy communication involves coming out with a win-win solution for both sides.


(8)   Taking time to cool off


Sometimes tempers can get heated up so much that it becomes pointless to talk further. When this happens, it is better to step back for a while to let each side cool down first. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to keep quiet.


(9)   Keeping a positive attitude


If you can approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect and a willingness to take into consideration each other’s point of view or at least making an effort to come out with a solution, you can make progress towards the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless you want to throw in the towel on your relationship, you should not give up on communication.


(10) Seeking a 3rd party help if you need it


If one or both of you have trouble in reaching out to each other or if the situation shows no signs of improving, it will be better to seek the help of a professionally trained 3rd party. A family counselor will be in the best position to work out some feasible solutions and offer you and your spouse some skill training to resolve future conflict. If your partner does not want to accompany you to meet the counselor, you can still benefit from this professional help and advice.


Effective communication requires mutual understanding and respect and willing to adopt a give and take approach in coming up with solutions. If you are looking for more ideas to improve your love life, you can click on to Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

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How To Keep Sex Enjoyable At Any Age

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When most relationship first begins, sex is full of discovery, intimacy and fun. Over time, this new-found excitement and intrigue starts to wane as demands of life may get too overwhelming to an extent that you begin to neglect your sex life. This does not mean you can no longer have a satisfying and desirable sex life just because you have been married for many years. Sex drives like the tide of the sea can go into “high tide” and “low tide” at times which is perfectly normal in every relationship.


So how can you continue to have a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life when your relationship is way beyond the novelty stage?


(1)   Talking and listening to each other


It is important to talk to your partner about the issues whether they are physical or emotional in nature. If you feel your partner is no longer interested in sex, let him or her know your concerns and find out how he/she thinks about it and to work out ways to overcome this problem. If you are the one who has a lower sex drive, you need to reassure your partner that you love them and enjoy being close to them. If you want to try something new, discuss it with your partner, and be open to his or her ideas too. If for certain unknown reasons, both of you find it difficult to talk about sex, you may need to seek the help of a counselor. If your loss in libido is due to signs of medical problem or medication, you will have to discuss with your doctor to find out what you can do to improve your sex life.


(2)   Recognize that sex is more than just orgasm and penetration


It can be stressful to both parties if your sole objective of sex is orgasm and penetration. Instead you should try to enjoy the process of lovemaking and the feelings of arousal with your partner. You can spend time exploring each other’s bodies to find out what both of you like, through bathing together, giving each other sensual massage or just simply touching each other from head to toes. Through this process, you will also be able to discover your partner’s sexual preferences through your partner’s breathing and the sounds he or she make.


(3)   Finding out what you like and what works for you


Sexual preference is a very unique and personal thing. Therefore you should spend some time to get to know your body in order to discover what feels good. You can lie in a warm bath to explore your body and experience the sensation of how the water feels on your skin. Find out what you like through masturbation, and then share this with your partner.


Losing sexual desire can happen for a number of reasons, such as getting older, illness, having children or worries about work, money or the relationship. If one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, you have to work out how to manage it within the relationship. Masturbation, sex toys or merely hugs and kisses may be an option. A lot of people who may not be able to accommodate a full sexual intercourse would be happy to give their partner that kind of sexual pleasure.


You may no longer feel comfortable with the usual sexual positions you once enjoyed. This does not mean you need to give up on having sex. The key to a great sex life is to find out what works for you now.


You can try the sexual positions that you both find comfortable and pleasurable. If erectile dysfunction is an issue, you can adopt the woman-on-top sex position. For women, using lubrication can help to overcome dryness problem. You can also make some changes in the way you engage in sexual activities such as having sex in different places and time of the day.


You can redefine sex to more than just penetration. Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Holding each other, gentle touching, kissing, sensual massages, oral sex or masturbation can be just as pleasurable for both you and your partner.


Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, you should take more time in your foreplay to create and build up the mood, such as a romantic dinner or an evening of dancing. Share romantic or erotic literature and poetry. Or try connecting first by extensive touching, kissing, teasing or tickling your partner.


(4)   Understanding and overcoming the obstacles to sex


Understanding the problems can be an effective first step to find solutions to overcome the obstacles to a satisfying sex life.


Stress, anxiety, depression can affect your sexual desire and your ability to get aroused. Psychological changes may even interfere with your ability to connect emotionally with your partner. Some people feel embarrassed, either by their aging bodies or by their bedroom performance, while others may feel less attractive to their partners.


It is therefore very important to have a 2-way communication to share with each other the thoughts, fears and desires. It will be of great help for you to accept that changes are inevitable and natural. If you can adopt a positive attitude (to love and appreciate yourself as what you are) and open mind to make the necessary adjustments, you can still enjoy a gratifying sex life at any age. As much as you can, do use your age and experience to be wise and candid with yourself. Learn to let go of any feelings of inadequacy and simply enjoy the pleasure of being physically and emotionally close to your partner.


Getting older does not mean you have to forego the things and activities you use to enjoy. If health allows, you should stay energetic by exercises and increasing your general level of activity. This will benefit your sex drive by increasing your energy and is also good for your mind, mood and memory.


The need for sexual intimacy is not dependent of age. Studies have confirmed that no matter what your gender is, you can enjoy sex for as long as you wish. To find out more about how you can always have great sex, you can click on to Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

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