How To Cope After Having An Affair




Find Out More From Here The Secrets Of A Happy Marriage


It is estimated that about 20% of married people cheated on their spouse? How to cope if you cheated or are being cheated on?


Whether it is a one-night stand or an extra-marital affair, unfaithfulness or cheating is one of the most devastating occurrences that can happen to a relationship. In a moment of vulnerability, carelessness, heated lust or relationship neglect, one partner gives in to the temporary excitement of a sexual affair.


The man or woman guilty of cheating, but still wants to keep the marriage is likely to experience some after-confession discomfort in the bedroom as he/she tries to patch up with an emotionally-hurt and victimized spouse. Knowing what to expect emotionally and sexually is perhaps the first step in the healing process of rebuilding intimacy in a relationship. In addition to the tips below, professional counseling is also recommended.


What To Do If You Are The One Who Cheated


How to reconnect with your partner sexually after hurting him/her? There is no one size fits all approach and it is likely that behaviors may vary between men and women. However these general principles should guide both sexes with respect to their attempts to save their marriage and sex lives.


Let things cool down


If you are the one who cheated, you have to be realistic that sex life can never be the same again at least in the initial healing period. This means not doing anything sexual for the time being before your partner feels emotionally ready to resume intimacy. In the meantime you have to show and communicate genuine remorse for what you have done. You have to own up to your mistakes and to answer questions related to your infidelity as honest as you can.


Be sensitive when in bed


It is very important that during lovemaking you go slow and take the lead or cue from your partner who has been hurt. This attentive behavior should include lots of reassurance, affirmations and appreciation of your partner. Your eye contact should also convey this feeling of regret and how truly sorry you are. When comes to sex, the emphasis should be more about emotional and spiritual re-bonding than about the quality of an orgasm. Behaving as if nothing happens is counter-productive and shows that you have not yet come to terms of your past misdeeds.


What To Do If You Are The Victim Of Infidelity


Instead of walking away, you have probably decided to give your marriage a 2nd chance. How to cope with the emotional wounds your partner has inflicted on you?  The following ideas may help you through this difficult time.


Vent your feelings


To bottle up your feelings or pretend as if nothing happens can hurt you more deeply. It is important that you let out your disappointment and hurt. This may involve screaming, crying, throwing things, moving out of the bedroom for a while or talking to a counselor. This can be a bit difficult for some men who are not so comfortable with showing their emotions. But this is an essential step to take if you are to experience great sex again without feeling victimized.


Stop blaming yourself


There is the tendency after being cheated to blame yourself. Is it due to my lack of attractiveness, lack of sexiness or am I not good enough as compared to the 3rd party in pleasing him/her sexually? Studies have shown that extra-marital affairs can even happen while still having great or adequate sex at home. The motivation for an affair can be due more to life challenges, transitions, depression, a weak moment or feelings of inadequacy. It is therefore not your fault that your partner cheated on you.


Rebuild your relationship


Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. There is nothing you can do about what had happened. What you can do is to work together with your partner to re-establish the trust and intimacy in the relationship through total openness and honesty as well as accountability with respect to whereabouts and friendships. There must now be no secrets or lies or any attempts to deceive. This is essential for the process of healing and mutual forgiveness to begin. This will lead to improved communications and greater levels of intimacy, which are basic requirements for greater sexual passion. This is going to take a lot of patience and effort and can take at least a year to move through the full cycle of healing.


There is no ‘right’ way to deal with an affair. Some couples choose to give the relationship a 2nd chance because they have a strong desire to make their relationship work. For other couples, the reservoir of resentment and hostility is just too overwhelming and the damage done is too much that they choose to go separate ways. No matter what the eventual outcome is, an affair challenges both partners to look at themselves and their relationship in a radically new way.


For more readings on relationship matters, you can click on Hot Sex and Blissful Relationship

Enhanced by Zemanta

Causes & Ways To Deal With Sexual Dysfunction

Click Here For The Easiest Way To Get Hard During Sex

There is not a guy in this world that has never had problems such as “getting it up” and/or “coming too fast” at least a few times in his life. According to the National Health & Social Life Survey, about 10% and 30% of men live with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation respectively.


Sexual dysfunction affects both men and women. In men it covers a whole range of difficulties encounter during sexual intercourse and other problems that affect sex drive. This includes the ability to achieve and/or maintain erection, premature ejaculation and the capability to get orgasm.


Possible causes of inability to achieve and maintain an erection are disorders that narrow the arteries and decrease blood flow, for example diabetes. Abnormalities in the veins of the penis, nerve damage, hormonal disturbances and some drugs (such as those prescribed for high blood pressure) can interfere with the ability to have an erection.


Decreased libido (sex drive) can also affect erection. Causes of lower sex drive can be due to depression, physical illness, work-related or life stress and certain medications (anti depressants).


As for possible treatment, some doctors will prescribe drugs with the most popular one starts with a “V”. All these drugs work by allowing more blood tom flow into the genitals, helping to keep erection longer. But these drugs may not be suitable for people with heart problems. These people are likely to take medicines that treat heart attacks or chest pains and such medicines open up the veins of the heart. Mixing up of two kinds of drugs (for treating erection and heart attacks) can have undesirable effect on the body.


Alternative way is to use a vacuum pump device that forms a seal around the sexual organ and acting as a kind of air suction to help in maintaining erection. Another method requires surgery to install a small balloon into the sexual organ which is then pumped up with air just before intercourse. One most important that need to bear in mind, is before resorting to drugs, it is best to go to the doctor to check out your heart, because erectile dysfunction is a strong predictor of fatal heart ailments.


Additional ways to cope with erection problems are exercises, weight control, cutting down on smoking and drinking, a diet tilts towards more fruits and vegetables and mixing cayenne pepper with either raw garlic or ginseng tea.


Other studies indicate relationships problems also contribute greatly to erectile dysfunction (ED). Partners who cannot agree with each other on sex-related issues, anger and/or boredom with partner, extra-marital affairs, lack of communication and trust, power struggle and performance anxiety all can result in ED.


Enhancing relationships through therapy, role-playing, improving communication, building up the emotional connection and intimacy can provide benefits when ED is not due to medical cause. Couples must also learn to pay attention to each others needs. When out of bed, both partners can do the things that make him/her feels sexy, cherished and desired. This includes greater eye contact, touching, sexy talk, telling how her how much you love her, her character and her cheerfulness, doing something extraordinary, doing things together, buying each other sentimental gifts.


When in bed, both partners can take the time to find out each others pleasure points, how each other likes to be touched and what each partner finds pleasurable. This can help couples to tune into each others sexual side, which can increase emotional intimacy and sexual confidence that comes from greater awareness of each others needs.


Premature ejaculation (PE) occurs when ejaculation happens before or shortly after penetration. Many experts believe this is probably a result of anxiety about sex and whether they are performing correctly. But there are many suspected causes and research continues to dig deeper into factors that may influence PE.


Behavior modification therapy can help to treat PE. The therapist besides giving reassurance will explain the possible causes of PE and suggest ways to delay ejaculation. The Squeeze Technique use during lovemaking is another way couples can use to last longer in bed. Either you or you ask your partner to squeeze the tip of your sexual organ just before climax. This will force some blood out of your genitals and reduces the erection.


For couples, the best way to cope with performance anxiety issues is to sit down to discuss, talk, plan and execute the various preventive ways. If your problems are not due to medical causes and you are keen to look for more solutions, you can click on Last Long In Bed and Get An Erection.

Enhanced by Zemanta