7 Ways To Overcome Low Male Libido

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Conventional thinking is it is usually women who have a low libido while men’s sex drive is always as strong as ever. The truth is a lot of guys are finding that though they have the will and desire they may no longer as energetic as they used to be in the bedroom. Men who have a reduced sex drive usually do not like to talk about this even to their partners. Their women are afraid that if they dwell too much on this topic, it may hurt their men’s ego or either they feel themselves no longer attractive to their men. According to Louanne Cole Weston, a California-based sex therapist, in those relationships that have the issue to discrepancy of frequency and desire, about 40% of them is men wanting less.

How do you define low libido? According to Weston, there is no definite answer because it is very subjective. A man who feels he has a low libido problem has to find this quite distressing to himself and his partner. On the other hand, there are couples who do not view sex as a high priority and yet they still like each other, do not fight. They find true joy in what they are doing together, feeling perfectly okay and do not want to change the situation.

 

What are the common causes of low male libido? The leading reason is medication especially those anti-depressants and anti-hypertension drugs that have this side effect of diminishing sex desire. Tired, stress and excessive drinking and smoking are other causes. For couples who have been together, anger can often hurt one or both partner’s sex drive.

 

Now that we have listed out some of the possible causes of low male libido and the next thing is how to overcome this. Here is how:

 

(1)   Mentally connect with your partner

 

Couples who communicate well with one another and share activities together are often more active in sex. You should share with one another your sexual desires and fantasies and how both of you like to be aroused. Talk with your partner about the issue of low sex drive and be careful not to put any blame on her. Some suggestions for beginning the talk:

 

(a)    I have been thinking about ……………

(b)   What do you think about ………………

(c)    I like to talk about ……………………..

(d)   I want to have a better understanding of your point of view

 

(2)   Sort out relationship differences

 

Marriage can get rocky. Sometimes you have to talk about difficult subjects including division of responsibilities, financial matters, relationships with in-laws, methods of child upbringing, just to name a few. Here are the strategies you can use for difficult talk:

 

(a)    Show respect to your spouse

(b)   Important to listen to one another without interrupting

(c)    Do not jump to conclusions about what your spouse is saying

(d)   Respond without being critical of what your spouse has said

(e)    Be aware of body language and never assume yes even if your spouse does not say no.

(f)    Maintain eye contact to show interest in what your spouse say

(g)   Back up your concerns with facts

(h)   To compromise and reach an agreement both can live with and then set a time to track the progress

(i)     Know when to get help which means if differences cannot be resolved both of you should approach a marriage counselor

 

(3)   Seek medical help

 

If the low sex drive is due to certain medication, or other physical or sexual health problem, you should see a medical practitioner as soon as you can. He/she can then determine the causes of your problems and work with you to come out with solutions and if necessary to refer you to someone more qualified to handle your issues.

 

(4)   Shared responsibilities

 

When something crops up in a relationship it is not just his or her problem. Even though the problem may start from one person, but if this is allowed to drag on, the problem will eventually become both parties’ problem. It is therefore necessary to recognize that both need to take responsibility for romance and to work together to build up an intimate and successful marriage. Both of you should reach joint decisions on ways to rekindle sex life as well as improving on the other aspects of your relationship.

 

(5)   Try to set the mood in advance

 

Being grouchy all day or ignore your partner hurts the chance to have great sex in the evening. You should build up the tension/expectation by making sure your partner knows you have romance in your mind well in advance and continue to work up to the movement over the span of several hours. You can set the mood with flirtatious talk, proper lighting, proper music, proper food and proper settings. Go and rent some romantic or sexy movies and choose those that you know will light your partner’s fire and watch them together.

 

(6)   Show your spouse you care

 

Volunteer to take up some household tasks and take turns in taking care of kids when either one is not around or busy. Do not forget anniversaries and birthdays. Give a small and unexpected gift just because you love your spouse. You should make an effort to have fun together such as cooking a romantic dinner with your spouse, spontaneous trip, walking with your spouse along the park or beach, hiking, schedule date nights, lunch dates, etc. At times, do something extraordinary such as putting a blanket on the floor in your bedroom and enjoying an intimate picnic with one another, making out in the back seat of your car or rent a motel room near your place. To spice things up, you can give your spouse an unexpected hug, a surprisingly romantic kiss or a teasing tickle.

 

(7)   Cultivating healthy lifestyle habits

 

Engage in regular exercises such as running, walking, swimming or any other activity you can enjoy with your spouse. Have a balanced diet and avoid excessive drinking and smoking. Manage your stress by recognizing that nothing is perfect and despite your best effort you cannot determine the outcome of everything you do.

 

To overcome low libido you have to work jointly with your spouse on issues that happen outside of the bedroom first. This is an ongoing process requiring true communication which is the key to a healthy and active sex life. If you need additional inspiring ideas to work towards this goal, you can click on Hot Sex and Improve Libido.

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Does Watching Porn Affect Your Sex Life?

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Is watching porn okay? If a guy likes to watch porn should his sex partner be concerned? Is it healthy or normal for a guy to watch porn frequently when he has a girl friend and a great sex life?

 

These are very common questions and concerns in men-women relationships. Let us first clear away some confusion about porn and its effects on building a healthy sexual relationship. A study by a group of scientists at the University of Montreal found that men watched porn that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or distasteful.

 

Porn did not have a negative effect on men’s sexuality. Porn hasn’t changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible. Thus there is nothing abnormal or unhealthy with watching porn as long as we do not get too obsessive to the point that we choose porn over sex with our partner.

 

If this happens you should consider your feelings about porn. What makes you so obsessive about porn that your partner feels left out? Is it something about your partner that you are not happy with? Is it due to boredom or an escape from a relationship that is steadily losing some “sparks”?

 

In this case, you need to sit down to talk with your partner about the issues and concerns in the relationship. The talk must be in such a way that it does not lead to the pinning of blame or assigning the causes of the problems in relationship on her. The goal here is to work together with her to solve the problem. Putting the blame on her will only cause her to get defensive and leading to argument. If you find yourself unable to work this out alone, it could be helpful to talk to a counselor or sex therapist.

 

However in situation when you have a normal sex relationship and both of you has different views on porn and she is not satisfied with the role of porn in your relationship, there is also a need for both of you to sit down and talk. You need to ask yourself what you like about porn. Is it due to fantasy? Are there things you see from porn that you want both to try together?

 

At the same time, she can also sort out her thoughts about porn. Is it something that interests her at all? If so, she can pick those adult movies that meet her individual taste which can later progress to the stage that both of you can together choose the type of porn to watch together.

 

If she does not like the idea of having porn a part of the sexual relationship, she needs to explain the reasons and a compromise is needed in order to break this deadlock. If both of you can honestly share with each other feelings about porn and porn watching, the concern about the effects of porn on relationship can go away.

 

It is normal for us not to share all of our partners’ interests due to our upbringing and different life experiences. Relationship is about compromise and this means eventually one or both sides have to meet somewhere in the middle. Want to know more in order to unlock the secrets of great sex life? Go to Hot Sex and Endless Pleasure.

 

 

 

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For Couples – How To Have Exciting Sex

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Want To Discover The Secrets Of Hot Sex?

 

Are you interested to know what other couples are doing to keep the level of excitement up, especially if you have been in a relationship for a long time? Do you want to know how to keep your relationship fresh and stave off boredom or complacency? How to keep your sex life as exciting as it is now? Here are some ideas you can use to spice up your sex life and better your relationship.

 

(1)   Keep The Communication Open

 

To keep a relationship alive, it is important to communicate and learn about each other, every single day. Your partner may be irritating you and may not be aware of it and if you can let him/her know about how you feel, this can help to resolve underlying issues in the relationship before they spillover to the bedroom. In the process of doing so, this can bring both of you closer to each other, emotionally and sexually. 

 

Withholding your frustration will not stop your partner from doing the same thing again. If something hurts you or is holding your partner back from achieving something better, talk about it over a cup of tea/coffee or even wine, or when both of you are in a relaxed  mood.

 

Finances and money issues play a big part in any long term relationship. Monetary satisfaction in a long term relationship can be achieved only if both of you discuss ways to save, invest and spend.

 

Discuss about family matters and how either of you can deal with it. Talk about kids and their lives ahead. If you don’t have kids yet, talk about when you intend to have them and how you can plan for them. Matters such as these are better spoken earlier than later.

 

Do talk about your dreams and aspirations with your partner and make sure you know your partner’s wants and dreams in life too.

 

To build effective communication in a relationship, you need to learn to be truthful. By lying or feeling suspicious about your partner, you are not helping the communication in the relationship. Be truthful with each other and never give your partner the opportunity to doubt you. To encourage the mood for communication, avoid ridiculing or criticizing each other’s views.

 

To increase communication in a relationship, make plans with your partner to go out at least one evening in a week and/or to find some activities to do together as a couple during the weekends.

 

(2)   Be Romantic

 

One of the disadvantages of long term relationship is the tendency for lovers or couples to take each other for granted. They are getting too complacent have stopped trying to be nice and to impress each other. They assume they know each other well. Even favors and special gestures are taken for granted. By doing so, those special gestures will not be special anymore and will become like obligations. Always remember to acknowledge a gesture, however small it may be if you want to understand the secret behind knowing how to keep love and sex alive in a relationship.

 

To keep the spark alive in your relationship, you have to treat your partner as if you are dating and to romance him/her outside the bedroom. You have to give each other pleasant surprises everything now and then. Once in a while, you pop into his/her workplace and go out for lunch together. You can surprise your partner by taking her to a weekend getaway to a nearby place. At times, on your way back home, you pick up your partner’s favorite dessert for a late night treat. You give each other inexpensive well wrapped gifts every now and then. It could be chocolates, flowers, a game CD, or even a potted plant.

 

You remember and celebrate with your partner those special occasions such as Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and birthdays. You take the initiative to please your partner and make him/her to feel special to keep the love alive in the relationship.

 

You dress to impress each other in bed and out of bed. A different style of clothing or different hairstyle or even a new tiny tattoo on any part of your body can trigger new feelings for each other. You can go out and buy some hot lingerie together. To look good to each other naked, you keep yourself physically fit and attractive. You watch your weight and diet and preferably exercise together.

 

(3)   Try Or Add Something New

 

Every now and then, do something different such as going to a new city, a new beach or to any place you haven’t been before, take a cooking class together, do yoga with each other, or take dancing lessons. If both of you like animals and like to take care of them, you can get a dog, a cat or even a goldfish. This will open up a wide range of new conversations, which is a great way to keep a long-term relationship interesting.

 

In bed, you try new sex positions; have sex in different places other than your bed, at different times of the day. You both make a trip to a sex shop or go online to get sex toys. You may also consider bringing in the whips, chains or cuffs, or pour some candle wax. If you are the one who are always taking charge in bed, once in a while you let your partner to take the lead and be his/her sex slave for a day. Just keep an open mind to explore the entire world of sex possibilities.

 

Click Fun Games and/or Creative Sex to continue reading about how to have a better love life that is strong on communication and enjoyable in bed.

 

 

 

 

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For Couples – How To Increase Sex Drive

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You used to have sex three to four times per week. Now it is about one for every ten to twelve days. For some odd reasons, the act of doing anything sexual does not interest you or your lover. The horniness is no longer there and sex drive is declining. It reaches the point where one of you almost has to beg for sex. What more can be done to increase the desire for sex for both of you? You can actually do a lot to boost libido and keep you and your partner happy in the bedroom with the following tips. If they do not help, you may need sex therapy with a professional to make sex work for both of you.

 

(1)   Self-Discovery And Self-Stimulation

 

You need to learn how to identify the pleasant, sensuous and sexy feelings and identify the situations that make you feel this way. You just need to pay attention to what your brain and body are saying to you naturally during the day and night.

 

Maybe you have simply gotten tired of doing the same thing in the bedroom. By experimenting on your own time and at your own pace (by way of masturbation or self-stimulation), you may discover a few erogenous zones, some unusual sensations or new moves that you enjoy.

 

Sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, ben-wa balls, ticklers or restraints can be used as alternatives to hand stimulation and to achieve variety in types of stimulation. This method is also applicable to guys. He can press a vibrator against his body from head to toe to discover on his own which body parts or areas are his hot spots.

 

(2)   Communicate For Better Understanding And For Ways To Spice Things Up

 

Open communication to each other is very important. Exchange with each other what you like and dislike. Be honest if you are experiencing a low sex drive or if you wish your partner has more sexual desire. Be open about your inhibitions and what you think the problem might be.

 

This communication is also a good opportunity for both of you to discuss about how to spice things up, or to add a little novelty into your love life. This can be doing something unusual outside the bedroom too such as going for a hike in the wild or doing bungee jump. For indoor activities, this can be having sex in positions that you have never tried, to make love in places you have never done before, have sex in the middle of the afternoon or in the morning, engaging in some role-playing, adding a few props or costumes, or adding some gels, lotions, massage oils to enhance sensation.

 

(3)   Learn To Relax

 

Too much stress increases the stress hormone cortisol, which causes testosterone (which plays an important role in sexual desire) to plummet. Find a way to tune out for fifteen minutes a day, whether through meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises (inhale through nose and exhale through mouth for ten times a day), chilling to music, or learning tai-chi. It will be ideal if your partner can join you in these relaxation activities. You can exchange massage with your partner. Massage can improve sexual arousal particularly if you are stressed, worried or angry.

 

(4)   Set The Mood

 

Everything starts from the mind because the brain is the main sexual organ. Reading erotica or watching a sexy soap creates arousing chemical changes in your brain that can increase desire. Search for things that affect your senses pleasurably. Try different stimuli such as aromas and scents, flowers and candles, running water and hot tubs, different types of music, even incense.

 

Experiment with the feel of soft fabrics against your skin, wearing sexy lingerie, buying clothes in colors that appeal to you. Watch movies with erotic or romantic themes. Or experiment with quite lush or exotic restaurants. Trying cooking special dinners for two at home.

 

Spending time each day touching and cuddling each other can boost oxytocin (feel-good hormone) levels and make you feel not only closer to your partner but more relaxed during sex. This simple gesture can also help to reset your brain and body to learn to enjoy sex again.

 

(5)   Exercise Together With Your Partner

 

Sex drive often wanes when you are not feeling good about yourself and your body. Exercise and weight loss can help you to feel good and boost your body image. Aerobic workouts (running, biking, swimming, weight training) help to improve blood flow to sex organs, boost your mood by pumping up the feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins. An increase in testosterone levels about one hour after working out can also leave you feeling sexier. Do avoid overstraining yourself because extreme exercise can actually lower testosterone levels.

 

Have your wife engaged in Kegel exercises by working on her pelvic floor muscles (those which control urine flow). This can help to increase libido and make her more aware of the pleasurable feeling from sex. To do this, have her act as if she is stopping her urine halfway. Have her to squeeze or contract the pelvic muscles and hold there for ten seconds and then release for ten seconds before resuming to the squeeze/hold/release action.  Have her do this for three to four times a day.

 

(6)   Eat Well

 

Eating a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins helps keep you fit and increase your energy and libido. Specifically, you can include food items such as oysters, celery, banana, avocado, nuts, eggs, garlic, scallops, pumpkin seeds, chocolate, licorice and ginger which are thought to boost libido.  Spicy foods such as chili are believed to increase sexual desire by increasing heart rate and causing your body to release endorphins, the same chemicals that your body produces after exercise. Though there is no medical proof that they can increase libido, but they could work because of the placebo effect.

 

(7)   Consult Your Doctor

 

If you have any difficulty in the bedroom (pain, low desire, vaginal dryness), bring it up with your doctor before it derails your love life. Certain medication such as antidepressants, birth control pills can reduce libido. Discuss with your doctor to see if there are any way to alleviate this problem.

 

For more tips to make sex enjoyable for you and your partner, you can click on Loving Couple.

 

 

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