How To Get What I Want Out Of Sex

 

 

 

 

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Communication is of utmost important in a relationship. This is especially so if you want to have a sex life that is satisfactory to you and your partner. For some reasons, talking about sex can be a very sensitive subject between couples. This is especially so if what you want to say is that you want to try something new. It is even more difficult or stressful to talk about sex when the conversation is about a sexual complaint or problem. Here are a few things you need to take note when it comes to talking about sex with your partner.

 

(1)   When to have a talk

 

Choose a time when both of you can talk openly without being disturbed by phones or other people. This will also depend a lot on what you are talking about. If you want to bring up the topic of trying something new in bed, then discussing this matter just before you are about to have sex is probably not a good timing.

 

Also, you should never talk about sex right after you have made love. Doing this may lead to defensiveness, disappointment and hurt feelings between you and your partner. It is therefore very important to distance this topic far away from the act of love itself.

 

(2)   Where to have a talk

 

As with timing, location can make a difference. Preferably you should pick a place that has no distractions. Bringing up any dissatisfaction when you are in bed can only spoil the mood. Both you and your partner may feel more vulnerable than if this conversation is to take place in a more relaxed setting such as talking over a cup of coffee in the living room.

 

(3)   How to have a talk

 

Even though you are not happy or you feel your partner is at fault, it is best not to accuse or blame your partner for the problem. Doing so, will slam the door shut from further communication. If something is on your mind, avoid blurting it out. Instead you sit on it for a while and clarify what doesn’t feel right. It will be better if you can organize your thoughts and put them down on paper.

 

A good tip that you can use to ease into talking about sex is by sharing porn or erotic short stories as a way to bring up new ideas or desires and using the images or words as a “bouncing-off points to get into specifics”.

 

To avoid being sound accusing, use “I” statements such as “I feel that ……” instead of “You make me feel…….” You should also avoid talking down to your spouse and assuming he/she knows what you are thinking. Communication is not just talking as listening is equally important. Avoid interrupting when your partner is talking. Listen carefully throughout the discussion can help to keep the conversation calm and less emotionally charged.

 

It is also very important to ask questions to get your partner’s views and suggestions. This is especially good if you have a partner who is unwilling to have this conversation. If you want to bring up certain products or toys that you feel will help your relationship, assure your partner first by telling him/her that you love and care for him/her and then you present the product or toy as something that will enhance his/her pleasure and give both of you more options when making love.

 

An important thing not to neglect is to pay attention to your body language as well as your partner’s. Do you and your partner’s posture and facial expressions give the impression of being defensive or feeling uncomfortable? Attention to body language will help you to gauge how the conversation is going, so that you can make adjustments along the way if things are not going smoothly.

 

These are the general tips on how you should talk about sex with your partner. Every situation is different and your situation may call for additional considerations. The main thing here is talking openly about your sexual feelings, desires, likes and dislikes, can improve your sex life as well as other aspects of the relationship.

 

For more tips on sexuality matters, read on further at Hot Sex and Talk About Sex.

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Do Something Different – How To Have Hot Sex

 

 

 

 

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Want to give your sex life a boost? How to bring back those hot and spicy moments when romance was new with our partner? How to avoid getting bored in bed? If you are looking for answers to these questions, read on.

 

(1)   Be honest to each other

 

It will be hard for you to experience the best sex of your lives unless both of you exchange ideas and sexual thoughts with each other. Spend more quiet time together, talk to your partner about your feelings and let her talk to you about hers. Everybody has favorites – favorite colors, flowers, food, etc.

 

Both of you will take a piece of paper and write down what you like best including what you like to do in bed. Then exchange and read each other’s list. Some people may need a little help at figuring out what really arouses them. There are plenty of tools out there to help such as books, magazines, videos and so on. Once you have come up with some ideas, discuss them with your partner. This can take away a lot of the guess work on how to please her as well as you during the next sexual encounter.

 

(2)   Behave like a Sex God

 

Women are turned on by a guy who is confident and secure in own self, especially in the bedroom. To understand how to look sexy, you need to feel sexy and understand what sex appeal is all about. Make an effort, dive into a few self-help sex guides and familiarize yourself with the good positions and the art of seduction.

 

To feel sexy on the inside, you need to feel confident about your sexual prowess and one of the ways to achieve this is to be knowledgeable. When you know you are good in bed, you can’t help but feeling confident about it, by taking charge of the situation and showing her you want her. By understanding sex and knowing what it takes to be sexy, you will then know how to look sexy to your partner, without even trying.

 

(3)   Try new things

 

Don’t forget that sex is supposed to be fun. The more fun you add into it, the more enjoyable it will be. Each time you feel like sex is starting to get monotonous, try something new to spice it back up. You can make even household chores sexy by making it more interesting. Whoever takes on the duty of a certain household task will have the right to request a striptease from his or her partner. If having sex in the house is too boring, go out and play.

 

Using sex toys in bed can be a lot of fun for both of you, especially when you are not used to watching your partner playing or working with a toy by herself.

 

If you want to get creative, lie over the ground on a thick rug. It can give you a lot more space to get creative and work with other fancy positions all over the floor.

 

To heighten the pleasure of sexual intercourse, you can also use soft thin sheets to silhouette your partner and pleasure her all over with these, or you can blindfold her with a silk scarf.

 

One small change that can have a big effect is to interrupt the pattern of how you usually have sex. If you normally have sex at night, you can initiate it in the morning or you can call her during her lunch break for a little afternoon delight. Instead of you being the one who is initiating sex, change this to both of you taking turns to initiate sex.

 

(4)   Make an effort to fulfill her sexual fantasies

 

Women may say what they want, but most women at least indulge in a few of these fantasies. Some girls think lesbian fantasy is hot. Many women do dream about getting molested or raped by a man. She may even dream about being surrounded by several men kissing, touching and seducing her at the same time. Others dream about stripping for an audience. They especially love it when a man takes out a few notes and dangles them down her g-strings.

 

Some women dream about stories where they would dress like a man but with nothing inside and take the man in front or back. Yet one of the bigger fantasies for men and women is to dream about a good threesome. Of course, there are plenty more female fantasies and there are always unique fantasies for women that may turn some women on more than the others. But as long as both of you are having fun, go on and explore what turns your partner on is a great way to spice up your sex life.

 

Sex is never boring. It is the routine that gets boring. Try something new can be uncomfortable at first, but it can open the doorway to better sex. Read the rest of the pointers on how to have great sex at Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

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What Are The Secrets To Great Sex?

 

 

 

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It is easy to get overwhelmed by the busy routine of your life and leaving yourself very little time for passion. But if you care for your partner and for yourself, you need to put a stop to whatever that prevents you from doing the fun things you used to do in bed. Sex, being part of our life, is something which anyone can be good at and great sex can always be better. So, why not try to improve your sex life? Here are some ways to turn up the heat in your bedroom.

 

(1)   Have a healthy lifestyle

 

This means eating a balanced diet, getting plenty of rest and exercises regularly. A better sex life needs a healthy body, so taking care of your body is the first step. Regular exercise is one of the most important keys to healthy sexual function. It can boost your mood and sense of well-being so you feel sexier and more confident.

 

Exercise activates the sympathetic nervous system, which encourages blood flow to the genital region. A Boston University School of Medicine study had found that sedentary men could significantly lower their risk of erectile dysfunction by burning at least 200 calories a day which is equivalent to walking about 2 miles briskly. Research study suggests that women benefit from exercise too. Women are more sexually responsive following 20 minutes of vigorous exercise.

 

You can exercise together as a couple. Enjoyable activities such as going for a hike together or a tennis game can help couples bond. Even going to the gym together on a regular basis can make you feel closer as a couple. Better still, if you can go for yoga lessons together.

 

Control your alcohol intake for better sex. While a glass of wine, or even two, can help you relaxed and get you in the mood for love, too much alcohol in your bloodstream may hinder your sexual performance and response. Alcohol depresses the central nervous system, which slows down nerve impulses, hinders your coordination and makes it difficult to get or maintain an erection or to maintain sufficient vaginal lubrication for sexual activity.

 

(2)   Be open to each other

 

Be frank about what you enjoy about your current sex life and what you feel may be missing. This is the most effective method to enhance your sex life as a couple. A brief conversation conducted with humor and love will give both of you the opportunity to honestly propose new ideas. If you are too shy to talk about sex directly, you can give your partner hints as to what you desire the next time you make love. A perfectly-timed moan or touch may speak volumes, depending on the other person’s capacity to read between the lines.

 

In order to defuse the tension that can creep into couple conversations about less-than-satisfying sex, both of you can show each other what you like best. You can get 2 sheets of paper and each of you draws a black-and-white outline of a human body’s front and back. Next, you and your partner will circle the areas of the body where you like your partner to lavish attention. Also you can assign each zone a number, will tell your partner what part of your body you want stimulated first, second, third and so on.

 

(3)   Get yourself relaxed

 

A pampering massage not only relieves stress but the skin-on-skin contact stimulates the sex hormone oxytocin. The more oxytocin is being released, the more desire a woman will feel.

 

Another way to help you relaxed is to try lavender-scented oils, sachets and lotions. They can help you and your partner to unwind and get in the mood. Studies have revealed that the smell of lavender may increase the feelings of relaxation and reduce mental stress in some people. But do take note that certain scents inspire different reactions in different people. Therefore you should experiment until you find the one that suits you.

 

Some research studies have shown that the scents from cucumber, licorice and baby powder can turn women on, increasing the vaginal blood flow by 13%. Pumpkin pie and lavender increase blood flow by 11%. During a romantic dinner, you can have the pumpkin pie as the last dish. Next to your pillow, you keep a cucumber-scented sachet. These scents should move her from the kitchen to the bedroom.

 

(4)   Read something erotic

 

Erotic literature can quickly jump-start the mood. Besides this you can read about some self-help guides to get some new ideas on how to improve your sex life. Clearly, the more you know about sex, the better you can put it into practice. If reading does not turn you on, do not worry. There is a plethora of adult movies from educational tapes to pure erotica which are available online and shipped in discreet packaging.

 

These are just a few of the many ways you can do to bring passion back into the bedroom. To get access to the rest of the tips, you can read on more from Hot Sex and Eternal Flame

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Have A Better Sex Life

 

 

 

 

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How to avoid boredom in your sex life? Has making love gotten so monotonous that you or your partner just does not want to have sex anymore?

 

It is natural to start getting bored of sex after being with each other for quite some time. But this is not an excuse to avoid having sex. Here are some ways to revitalize your love life and bring passion back into bedroom.

 

(1)   Make date for sex

 

You may feel this is rather unromantic. Isn’t sex supposed to be spontaneous? This will be nice of course, but in reality, the day-to-day routines can wear us down, leaving us little time and energy for sex. Scheduling sex can create this anticipation and probably help to overcome this issue about how often you should have sex or what should be the normal amount of sex. To spice things up, you can ‘ritualize’ the whole process by doing whatever you like to do as a couple beforehand. You can go out with her for a movie or dinner, take a walk or have a glass of wine by the candlelight.

 

(2)   Make love somewhere else

 

If you have been sleeping in the same bedroom for a few years, it is hard not to be reminded of the daily routines and the worries such as the utility bills, the car loans, the house mortgages you have to pay at the end of the month or the education fees you have to get ready for your kids. Lovemaking is a present moment experience. Best sex can only take place when you are not thinking of the past or the future, but only the present. It can be hard to make this happen in your all-too-familiar bedroom. To have a better love life, you can get away to a place that is stripped of these reminders of everyday life.

 

(3)   Tidy up your bedroom

 

It will be nice if you can have sex in different places but this will only be for those relatively well-to-do ones. Besides, occasionally having sex outside home, you can make your bedroom more conducive to getting intimate.

 

Most of us are used to bright lights in our homes. But when it comes to the bedroom, softer, mellow lighting is always better to help you set the mood. When you use softer yellow lighting that resembles a burning fireplace, you will feel warmer and calmer. The best part of this is that the soft light can blend out all that cellulite and body fat on the body when you are making love. This can help both of you feel better about your own body and focus on the better things in the present moment.

 

You can make your bedroom more spacious by putting your kids’ toys in another room. As for those piles of unwashed laundries, you can place them in a basket at a location that is nearer to the washing machine. Consider ditching the bedroom TV too or at least try living without it for a while.

 

(4)   Find out more about your sexual side

 

When you feel that sex is starting to get monotonous, you can try something new to spice things up. There are so many things that couples can do to keep it exciting and interesting. Everyone has sexual fantasies of one sort or another. But for some people, these fantasies can be buried pretty deep. This will require a little bit more work to figure out what really turns you on.

 

There are plenty of tools out there for you to make use of such as self-help guides, erotic fictions, magazines, videos and so on. Find a time to pick one or more of these tools together with your partner. Once both of you have come up with some ideas, you can share with each other about the new things or elements you want to introduce into your sex life. This can be acting out your fantasies, putting on her sexy underwear, be it laces or silk, giving sensual massage, adding sex toys and so on.

 

(5)   Face up to your sexual problems

 

People who have sexual problems often shy away from having sex because they do not want to face failure. But these problems have to be addressed head on. Erectile dysfunction has received the most attention, but there are plenty of other issues such as premature ejaculation, a loss of libido, pain during intercourse or having difficulties in reaching orgasm. Some sexual problems may need medical attention, while others can be solved by trying different sexual techniques or buying a bottle of lubricant. The main thing is not to muddle through with problems and resign yourself to a mediocre sex life.

 

These 5 tips come from a book written by Michael Webber which has 500 lovemaking tips. You can read the rest of the tips from Hot Sex plus some fun and exciting ideas for you to explore at Endless Pleasure

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How To Rekindle Her Interest In Sex

 

 

 

 

Are you looking for ways to spice things up and reignite the fires of passion in your relationship? Has sex begun to lose its sparkle and getting so monotonous that your bedroom life has almost come to a standstill?

 

It is natural to start getting bored of sex beyond a certain period of time in a relationship. The demands of everyday life, the novelty in the relationship no longer there; inevitably this act of intimacy can become a predictable routine. We all get into these ruts. But that is not an excuse to just sit passively and let your sex life continue in this mundane manner. Read these tips to bring passion and sensuousness back into the bedroom.

 

(1)   Give her good compliments

 

She probably has heard enough of those ‘nice eyes’ or ‘sexy lips’ compliments and even more crude comments like ‘nice bottoms’. Most women have heard too much of such compliments but quality ones are rather scarce.

 

Try acknowledging how intelligent your lady is, she will appreciate it. Compliment on the things she has achieved. Men tend to overlook the uniqueness in their women. Take some time to notice the little things she put into getting dressed. Saying she looks great in her jeans is not enough, but noticing how her earrings match her clothing and shoes is a much more effective compliment. It shows you recognize the effort she puts into creating an ensemble to go out with you.

 

Quite often, guys take for granted the things their ladies do for them to make them feel comfortable. Men can never fully understand how involved with a child a good mother has to be, but you can make sure your wife or girlfriend understands just how much you appreciate her as the mother of your child. Compliment her expert parenting. Make sure you acknowledge the things she has done for you by complimenting her, and then follow it up by spoiling her in some ways.

 

(2)   Give her tender loving touch

 

What women want in bed is for men to discover every part of her body. If you gently move your hands all over her body when both of you lock lips, it will definitely get her senses tingling for more. Remember that kissing signifies adoration and admiration and nothing can be better than being adored and admired while lying naked in bed. When you kiss her, you focus on the kiss itself and not the end result. Slow down and savor the softness of her lips and the sweetness of her breath. Enjoy her body and make sure you run your fingers all over her body. Notice how her skin feels and how she reacts.

 

(3)   Give her pleasant surprises

 

Do not under-estimate the element of surprise. It is thrilling and gratifying and the effort of arranging one will show her how much you care. Do something unexpected such as coming home with a special gift. Surprise dinner always works wonders. Restaurant reservations are an easy way to accommodate one. You make the reservations and then call her to meet you at a location near the restaurant. When she arrives, be there with a special gift or a bouquet of flowers and reservations in hand. If you have enough confidence in your cooking skills, make her a romantic dinner at home. The key is to do something unexpected and she is much more apt to be touched by your gestures.

 

(4)   Set the mood

 

It is important to create and set a light and romantic scene. Think about what is in your bedroom that reminds you of sex. It is often the small touches that make a difference. Warm vibrant colors like red, pink and orange enhance sensuality. Replace fluffy toys and old blankets with arousing aroma such as lavender and rose to stimulate the senses. Lay out clean bed sheets and pile your extra pillows on the bed.

 

Play her favorite songs, preferably the ones that can get both of you into the right mood. Light up a few scented candles. Reposition the mirror to get a more exciting view. It is really sensuous to make love while watching each other’s bodies in the mirror.

 

(5)   Try something new

 

Anything novel or exciting is likely to drive up the levels of her sex-related hormones in her body. You need to know about the sexual techniques to make sure you have all the required knowledge. You should take the time to read self-help books and watch great movies about sex. When you are using the best sexual techniques and are not afraid of doing a little extra work, you will have a better total experience. You will be able to keep both of your libidos where you want it to be.

 

For more tips on sexuality matters, you can read on more from Hot Sex . You can visit Dirty Harry’s Secrets if you want to look for something extra to enhance the pleasure of sex.

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