For Couples Who Are Busy – How To Have Sex




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You use to have lots of energy for fun sex, but those days are long gone and seem so far away. You always feel tired and are not sure how to get your sex life back. So, what can you do?


Below are some tips for you to try out.


(1)   Find out the real problem


Lack of sex because of tiredness happens to most couples and this lack of sexual desire can be due to other factors too. The problem with blaming, ’We are just too tired’ for passing on sex is it is usually a cover for other things that have gone wrong in the relationship such as lack of communication, build-up resentment, boring sex, the list goes on and on. In fact, there are many couples who have great sex lives and have more sex when they are tired because it is their way of relaxing and feeling good. Sex can flood the brain with endorphins and oxytocin, which are hormones associated with pleasure.


Instead of focusing on the issue of being exhausted, couples need to look at the bigger picture of how they are having sex. They can jointly come up with more realistic expectations on what is achievable for their present lifestyle and schedule. This can be started with a heart-to-heart talk outside the bedroom like, “We will be quite busy for the next 6 months. What can we do sexually and/or to stay connected even if we cannot have as much sex as we want?”


(2)   Set some time apart for sex date


If you are one of those so-called dual-income-no-sex (DINS) couples struggling with the daily grind of life, scheduling sex is the easiest way for a couple to keep their sex life on the radar. It may not seem romantic and probably make you feel like failures because you can no longer have spontaneous sex; however chances are if you do not schedule sex, it is not going to happen. The upside to scheduling is it takes away any negative feelings of who is going to initiate sex and wondering if tonight is the night to have sex. Research has proven that couples who schedule sex have more mutually satisfying sex.


Rather than going to a dinner or a movie, you can stay at home to have a sexually arousing evening. You can also create windows of opportunity for sexual connection at times other than at the end of a long day. You can also make love when your kids are sleeping or you can have sex in the morning or afternoon. You can also consider that wake-me-up-sex where you welcome your spouse waking you up while you are asleep which can be more arousing because our sex-related hormones are at the highest level of the day at between 8 am to noon. Therefore set your alarm early to enjoy some morning sex.


(3)   Just do it


If you can just get the ball rolling, momentum will usually take over. It takes a little bit of effort and time to transit out of the overworked and under-appreciated mommy mode into the hot, sexy, loving partner mode. But if you can get past this initial hesitation, your desire will follow. It only takes a little bit of caressing or kissing, maybe a touch here or there to get both of you started. Once you are in the mood, the thought of sleep will be gone. The more sex you have, the more testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin you release.


You can try this 10-minute rule. If you are not in the mood or feel too tired for sex, give yourself 10 minutes. According to research, half of the population feels amorous or horny and wants to initiate sex, while the other half is not interested in sex until after they start kissing and fooling around. Therefore give it a try when you feel tired next time. So, try kissing and fooling around for 10 minutes and see if you can get more aroused or interested.


(4)   Be a supportive partner


You have got to do something to help pick up some of your wife’s daily responsibilities. This will give her a little bit more energy left for her to feel horny and think of some sexy stuff to pleasure and please you. This should incentivize you to be a caring and supportive partner. While one spouse cleans up after dinner, let the more tired one takes a bath, relax or read a magazine or newspaper. If you can allow your partner the time for her to release stress, this will avoid sex from becoming like one more chores to her at the end of the day.


You can make things easier with better time management at home. Pick a time that both of you will be finished working so you do not just go straight to bed. Turn off the TV or computer at an agreed upon time. If you continue to let your career or housework to take precedence over your sex life, you are more likely or probably too exhausted for sex. If you can only have sex at the end of the night, you may end up choosing sleep over sex on a regular basis.


(5)   Self-seduction


Most women need to be stimulated mentally and/or physically before they actually feel turned on. As a woman, you can single-handedly transform your libido by trying self-seduction.


Throughout the day, you can conjure up past sexual experiences that really got you work up enough to get you into the sexy mindset. Feeling relaxed is also equally important. After you reach home, unwind with a glass of wine or do something else that will give you a mental break from the stressful things that may be affecting your sex drive.


It can be of great help to read a super sexy novel and you can add in self-stimulation if you want to. From this moment onwards, you make sex a top priority. Do not wait until the laundry is done to get down to business or until you collapse into bed, because by then your only desire will be to sleep.


Are you really too tired or honestly has sex becomes a little boring or too predictable? Maybe you would be less tired if sex was more fun, novel and engaging. Want to try something new and spice it up? Click on Hot Sex and Fix A Sexless Marriage

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How To Reconnect Sexually After Delivery




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How does childbirth affect sex life?  When is it safe to resume sex, what to expect and how to reconnect with her will be discussed in the following paragraphs.


How Soon Can You Have Sex Again


This is the first question that probably most guys have in their minds – how soon or when is it safe to have sex after childbirth. Because having babies is so natural and common, many guys have difficulty appreciating just how dramatically a woman’s body changes during the postnatal recovery period. This lack of awareness may be due to the male tendency of ignoring those problems we cannot solve and also to the lack of sufficient knowledge about this aspect of female sexuality.


Although individual circumstances vary, the typical medical recommendation is for a 6-week no-sex period after childbirth for her body to recover whether by normal delivery or by C-section. For some women, it can be even longer if there are some more complications or they are suffering from postnatal depression. It is therefore very important for couples to have a frank discussion about their expectations and to reach an agreement on a time when they can start to have sex again.


How Does Childbirth Affect The New Mother And Her Sex Drive


Tiredness is the first thing affecting every new mother. Looking after a baby can be very exhausting both physically and emotionally, so that when you get to bed you just want to sleep. At the same time (the 1st few weeks after childbirth) her body is in a recovery mode – to give chances for the wound to heal and the stitches to dissolve. The hormonal changes that happen during this period can cause vaginal dryness, making sex very uncomfortable.


Generally, women are able to regain their desire within a couple of months after delivery. If her libido does not return or if she shows symptoms of postnatal depression, she should either see a doctor or get some counseling from an expert in sexual problems.


How Does Childbirth Affect The Couple’s Sex Life


As she is busy with the baby and her body still recovering from childbirth, sex is the last thing in her mind. During this time, a man can feel neglected and view her wife’s lack of interest in sex as rejection. These feelings of being neglected and rejected are hard for guys to acknowledge because this can make them look immature and selfish.


Guys can overcome this by being reminded how important they are to their spouses. It is therefore important for women to be aware of this and to reassure their men that they are still desirable through small gestures such as pampering the guys with some favorite dishes or writing some nice and sweet notes. Empathy is needed to re-establish the emotional closeness in the relationship. Guys also need to understand that sex requires emotional as well as physical readiness.


After watching a partner through pregnancy and birth, some men gain a new respect for the female body. These guys are able to articulate their feelings easily about the new phase of their relationship and can become more considerate of their partner’s changing needs.


But some men who have witnessed the whole child delivery process are quite distressed by what they have seen. They feel so guilty at the pain their partner has gone through that they are unable to even consider the idea of making love with her again. This is usually a temporary phase, but not always. If the guy continues to be troubled by this feeling, he should seek help from a counselor to discuss his feelings.


Perhaps the first priority for you as a couple is to give each other as much emotional support as possible. Words and cuddles can do much to convey affection and emotion. Both of you will benefit from this closeness. On the physical side, sex does not have to mean full penetration as the stimulation from touching each other can be highly pleasurable.


A strong and healthy relationship is built upon mutual trust, respect and understanding. This can go a long way towards keeping the passion alive. For further reading on this related topic, you can click on Hot Sex and Blissful Relationship

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