How To Use Fantasy In Love Making




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Acting out fantasies and pretending to be someone else is one of the easiest things couples can do to prevent sex from becoming routine. If you, your spouse or both of you are a little shy, role playing can help to open the doors to feeling more confident with one another. Here are a few tips to get started.


(1)   Keep it easy


The best way to get started is to make it easy for your partner to ease into the situation. You do not need to come up with some elaborate story line or introduce some ridiculous costumes. Whether both of you are a little timid or either one of you has reservations about the whole role playing scenario, it is best to start with something simple and easy for both of you to get into the situation, which is your ultimate goal.


(2)   Be prepared


Most people start out a bit shy and nervous with the idea of dressing up as someone else and playing a role. This is mainly due to a lack of preparation. The best way to get comfortable with sexual role playing is to get prepared.


(3)   Have a brainstorming session


The best part about role-playing is that there are so many things you can do that are not just confined to the bedroom. Get your creative juices flowing and make a list of things or the kinds of situations that turn you on. Think about whom you want to be, your motivation, the kind of scenario, how you want to dress up and what and where the boundaries and the ground rules are. At this stage, it is important to be honest, sincere and non-judgmental. There should be no laughing at your partner for something he/she says or does.


(4)   Narrowing down the choices to what both of you want


Compare your lists against your partner’s and decide on what both of you are willing to try. Also decide on what you are not going to try. You can set limits without judging the other person. If you are uncomfortable with anything, do let your partner know.


(5)   Setting the role playing scene


Details can help you to get deeper into a sexual role play scenario. When you first imagine a sexual scene, the main points may be enough to get you going, but the more details you can add to the fantasy, the more alive it becomes. Details can also be great for awkward moments when you do not know what to do next. Think about the physical setting, whether it is indoor or outdoor, what time of day is the scenario, are there any other people nearby, and what is the story line.


(6)   Choosing costumes and props


Maybe the most fun part of the preparation is costumes. Sexual fantasy role play is a perfect opportunity to dress up and have fun. Once you have decided on who you want to be, think about ways to add to your character and role through clothing and props. Make a trip to adult shops or novelty stores to choose the costumes, accessories and other items to make your role-playing fantasy complete. You can also try any thrift stores for clothing if these shops do not have what you want.


(7)   Shaping your sexual fantasy role play character


Now that you know who you are, where you are and what you are wearing, it is time to dig deeper into the sexual fantasy role play character. Think about what is your motivation, what are the things that turn on and turn off and is this character going to be dominant or submissive.


(8)   Decide on a good time to act out your fantasy


Timing can ruin even the best prepared plans. Make sure you provide enough time for schedules to be cleared and for other commitments to be fulfilled. This means make a stress and worry free space so that you can have your whole mind on the fun, and not being tie-down with thinking of the hard day ahead. For most of us who work during the week, Friday night is an especially good time because the weekend provides a good buffer.


(9)   Set ground rules for role playing


Setting ground rules and boundaries with the person you are going to engage in role playing with is essential. Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy such as no laughing at each other, agreeing beforehand the signals or words to let each other know if things are going well or badly and if things do not go smoothly how you want it to stop.


So, go ahead to explore new situations and make it both intense and safe. Fantasy is always fun, if done the right way. If at first it does not work well, try again. Remember that sex is really another form of communication and the more you explore it together, the better it gets.


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How To Make Sex Fun In A Relationship




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Do you have these relationship problems? You only have sexual intercourse for only once or twice a month. Love making seems like becoming a chore. It seems only one of you are more keen on sex. Read on to find out how you can light up the fire in your love life.


(1)   Exchange sex fantasy ideas through card games


Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life. Sexual intimacy is a continual process of discovery of each other. True intimacy through communication is what that can make sex great. If you and your lover/partner are afraid to ask each other what you want because you think you may not get what you want, you will not be able to know how to thrill each other.


To get things moving, set the mood for a romantic evening with your partner/lover. You can play some bedroom games to spice things up. One of the ways you can do is each of you will write down all your sex fantasies on some cards. There will be no restrictions on what you write, no matter how outrageous and or politically incorrect some of them can be.


Next, you will read the cards together and divide them into 3 categories: fantasies that you love to act them out; fantasies you want to keep that way (e.g. sex with another man or woman or threesome) and fantasies that have nothing to do with your partner/lover. Then, eliminate those fantasies that turn one of you off. Both of you will take turns to choose a fantasy to act on it.


(2)   Spice up the missionary position


The normal missionary position does not allow a woman to have orgasm through penetration because it offers little chances to stimulate the clitoris or the g-spot. However, you can make some modifications/adjustments to increase the chances of hitting either the clitoris or the g-spot. At the same time, she can also offer stimulation to herself or her man.


Have your girl lie on her back with her right leg on your right shoulder. Bend her left leg and place it beside your right side. Then you adjust yourself to enter her. For some added stimulation, she can use her free hands to either rub the clitoris or fondle your testicles (balls).


You can also put pillow or a love cushion under her buttocks so that the lower part of her body is further away from the flat surface, an angle which can increase the chances of stimulating the g-spot when you penetrate her. Your girl can pleasure you at the same time by using her fingers to press on the area between the anus and the testicles, which is an often-ignored erogenous zone.


(3)   Reaching for the A-spot


It is the anus, which is also another often-neglected erogenous zone. You can take turns pleasuring each other’s anus using fingers or tongue. Try a small, thin vibrator. If you want to proceed with penetration, you have to lubricate the vibrator or wear lubricated latex glove to prevent internal skin tears. A woman can massage the male g-spot (prostate) by thrusting one finger between 1-2 inches deep into the anus with palm facing up. This can also give the feeling of wanting to urinate, which also happens when the female g-spot is being stimulated.


(4)   Add in visual stimulation


Men are visual creatures. They get aroused either by looking at women’s breasts or watching porn. For the sake of this, position some mirrors at certain locations or angles that can allow both of you to see yourself in action like directing your own porn movie. You can also buy her some sexy lingerie (which you find arousing). I personally find those lacy black ones quite seductive.


(5)   Mutual masturbation


This can bring some playfulness back into sex. Get her to masturbate in front of you. Ask her to show you clearly how and where she likes to be touched. Since a woman can have multiple orgasms, after she gets an orgasm, you let her place her hand on yours to guide you in how to stimulate her in order to make her orgasm again. When you are able to masturbate her without help, while doing so, she can also offer you the same manual treatment of your genitals.


(6)   Condom trick


This is another way to add a little bit of fun into sex. She will hold the condom so that the rolled up edge is facing her. She holds the condom between the lips with part of her tongue in the condom. She will place the condom on the tip of the penis. With her teeth hiding behind the lips, she will glide her lips upwards along the shaft of the male organ to unroll the condom.


There you go. It is not difficult to achieve a great sex life. What you need to do is to talk with one another your expectations about sex. You and your partner/lover also need to recognize that both have equal and joint responsibility for romance, for having an intimate and successful relationship.


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